Damn, I’m such an idiot!
I knew I shouldn’t have picked the spicy buffalo sauce for the McDonald’s Chicken Selects!
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
The voices in my head were telling me I should go for the tangy low-fat honey mustard or the creamy ranch dipping sauce, because there was no way the McDonald’s spicy buffalo sauce could even come close to the sauce Hooters uses for their spicy, hot, juicy, voluptuous boob…I mean…Buffalo wings.
Maybe it was the carbon monoxide from the beat up Volkswagon Golf in front of me in the drive-thru lane that prevented me from changing my mind. Or it could have been the thoughts of bouncing Hooters girls.
Yes, Hooters girls…Ummm…
So what makes these Chicken Selects better than the not-so-select Chicken McNuggets?
Most notable: They don’t have the embarrassing name of McNuggets.
Check this out. If you use the word “McNuggets” to replace the word “testicles” in any sentence, people will still understand the sentence.
For example: The Hamburgler was kicked in the McNuggets by Mayor McCheese, as he tried to steal hamburgers from that big fat purple blob, Grimace.
Oh yeah, I forgot: Robble! Robble!
So I was stuck with the spicy buffalo sauce, which wasn’t very good. Just like the voices in my head predicted. However, if there was something good that came out of this, it would be getting a five-piece Chicken Selects meal instead of the three-piece meal I ordered. Bonus, baby!
Two more premium-quality, 100 percent white chicken breast meat, seasoned and lightly breaded so they are crispy on the outside and juicy on the inside that I get to dip into a spicy buffalo sauce that I don’t like.
Thank goodness for universal condiment: Ketchup.
Item: McDonald’s Chicken Selects
Purchase Price: $4.39 (3 pc Value Meal)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: White chicken breast meat. Accidentally got 5 pieces. Heh, hehâ€¦McNuggets!
Cons: Spicy buffalo sauce wasn’t that good. Slightly expensive for just 3 pieces. Robble! Robble!