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Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink
By Marvo | October 15, 2004
I’m trying to imagine what my college life would have been like without Jolt Cola and it’s nearly illegal amounts of caffeine. I probably would have ended up with straight F’s instead of straight C’s.
Without the sleep prevention properties of the caffeine, sugar, and carbs in Jolt Cola, I wouldn’t have made it through those all-night studying sessions and all the times I needed write a 20-page essay the morning it was due.
I liked Jolt Cola so much that I made it the topic of a speech I had to do in my Speech 251 class. Actually, I picked it as a topic because I couldn’t think of a topic the night before I had to give the speech.
Right now I wish I had some Jolt Cola, so I can get the energy to finish this review, but the national convenience store chain down the street doesn’t carry it. Instead, I’m stuck with this Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink. It was the only energy drink available at the convenience store. Everything else was sold out, including all the Mountain Dew.
I guess it must be midterm time for the college kids in the neighborhood.
After drinking it and reading the can, it turns out that Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink not only has almost no carbs, it also has almost no sugar, which I have learned are the two building blocks of forced sleep deprivation. Fortunately, it contained the third building block, caffeine. However, I don’t know if it’s effective without mixing it with significant amounts of carbs and sugar.
Damn, I’m tired.
Maybe it just takes awhile to kick in.
Maybe I should’ve consumed it intravenously.
Oh, I wonder if there’s anything in The Impulsive Buy refrigerator I could drink to keep me up.
Hmm…
Mixed Berry 7-Up Plus? Let’s see, no caffeine, two grams of carbs, one gram of sugar, and it’s fricken’ pink.
Yeah, right.
The only way Mixed Berry 7-Up Plus is going to keep me awake is if I contantly hit myself in the head with the bottle.
Hey look! I actually finished the review. Looks like it worked after all.
Item: Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink
Purchase Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Big can. Decent tasting.
Cons: Not enough carbs and sugar. I miss Jolt Cola.
Topics: Beverage, Energy Drink |
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October 15th, 2004 at 2:28 pm
HMMMM- Try a double shot with some splenda. Low cal, hi caf, very sweet. Good post BTW.
October 17th, 2004 at 8:13 am
I couldn’t get through life without caffeine…lol
October 17th, 2004 at 2:52 pm
Dan - If only I drank coffee.
kj4ever - Same here.
October 17th, 2004 at 6:06 pm
I try to stay away from energy drinks, but then I’m pretty hyper as a rule. Just wanted to say that this is a great site. Your reviews make for interesting and entertaining reading. Keep up the impulse buys! =)
October 17th, 2004 at 7:02 pm
Thanks Tam.
December 10th, 2004 at 10:31 am
[...] megranate. Then there was the Healthy Choice Beef Franks. Also…Um…Give me a minute…Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink? It’s healthy right? After all it’s low carb. Well [...]
February 16th, 2005 at 12:08 am
[...] Impulsive Buy has reviewed several energy drinks over the past seven months, like this one, this one, this one, and this one. All of them were greenish in color, almost tasted t [...]