Editor’s Note: Sorry for the late review today. The Impulsive Buy had to do some extra testing with today’s product to see if they would make great ghost costumes for kids. Long story short, they definitely do not, especially if the drawstrings are pulled.
The Impulsive Buyâ€™s goal is to be just like the 800-pound gorilla of the product review world, Consumer Reports.
However, itâ€™s hard to be like them when we arenâ€™t very thorough with our reviews, some of the reviews contain sexual situations, we donâ€™t have good grammar, and we like to excessively use the word â€œBOOBIES.â€
Actually, to be honest, we really donâ€™t want to be like Consumer Reports. I know we just said we wanted to be just like them, but all we want is their kick-ass multi-million dollar testing facility.
They have goggle-wearing scientists, state-of-the-art machines, and a frickin’ car testing track. Oh yeah, letâ€™s not forget the white lab coats, beakers, and test tubes.
Here at the Impulsive Buy we have ONLY ONE lab coat that I stole when I was taking Chemistry 151 Lab.
But alas, the Impulsive Buy doesnâ€™t have a kick-ass multi-million dollar testing facility, so we have to be creative when testing products.
For example, take todayâ€™s product, Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags. Iâ€™m sure in the Consumer Reports kick-ass testing facility they have scientists who use state-of-the-art stretching machinery that can exactly determine how much the Glad ForceFlex can stretch.
Here at the Impulsive Buy, we have bupkis. So because we donâ€™t have a computerized stretching machine, I decided to test the Glad ForceFlex using the demanding test of trash bag races. You know, like potato sack races except with trash bags.
I didnâ€™t think conducting a trash bag race wouldâ€™ve given us an accurate measure of how stretchable the Glad ForceFlex is, but it sounded more fun than some expensive machine.
So to accomplish this, I called up some friends who I thought might be interested in helping me for the greater good of consumers.
Unfortunately when I called them, all I heard was, â€œNo way,â€ â€œThatâ€™s so lame,â€ â€œUm, no,â€ and â€œYou know the restraining order prevents you from calling me.â€
Since no one wanted to participate in the Glad ForceFlex trash bag races, I had to do it on my own, just like my sex life.
What makes the Glad ForceFlex so special is the unique diamond texture that stretches around objects to help prevent rips and tears. That diamond texture sure did stretch around my feet as I placed them into one of the ForceFlex bags.
So after stepping inside one of the bags, I hopping around the Impulsive Buy like a rabbit on crack for several minutes. Despite my constant hopping, the ForceFlex bag didnâ€™t tear. But my constant hopping did cause me to become very winded, very quickly.
So what did I learn from my experiment? I learned that these Glad ForceFlex bags are very durable and that Iâ€™m out of shape.
Item: Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags
Purchase Price: $5.99
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Drawstrings. Durable. Stretchable.
Cons: No ForceFlex trash bag relay races. Iâ€™m out of shape. Makes bad ghost costumes for kids.