« Pop-Tarts Frosted Caramel Chocolate Snak Stix | Main | USPS Automated Postal Center »
Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags
By Marvo | December 29, 2004
Editor’s Note: Sorry for the late review today. The Impulsive Buy had to do some extra testing with today’s product to see if they would make great ghost costumes for kids. Long story short, they definitely do not, especially if the drawstrings are pulled.
The Impulsive Buy’s goal is to be just like the 800-pound gorilla of the product review world, Consumer Reports.
However, it’s hard to be like them when we aren’t very thorough with our reviews, some of the reviews contain sexual situations, we don’t have good grammar, and we like to excessively use the word “BOOBIES.”
Heck, we aren’t even as good as those compulsive reviewers at Amazon and Epinions, who have written reviews for hundreds of products.
Actually, to be honest, we really don’t want to be like Consumer Reports. I know we just said we wanted to be just like them, but all we want is their kick-ass multi-million dollar testing facility.
They have goggle-wearing scientists, state-of-the-art machines, and a frickin’ car testing track. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the white lab coats, beakers, and test tubes.
Here at the Impulsive Buy we have ONLY ONE lab coat that I stole when I was taking Chemistry 151 Lab.
But alas, the Impulsive Buy doesn’t have a kick-ass multi-million dollar testing facility, so we have to be creative when testing products.
For example, take today’s product, Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags. I’m sure in the Consumer Reports kick-ass testing facility they have scientists who use state-of-the-art stretching machinery that can exactly determine how much the Glad ForceFlex can stretch.
Here at the Impulsive Buy, we have bupkis. So because we don’t have a computerized stretching machine, I decided to test the Glad ForceFlex using the demanding test of trash bag races. You know, like potato sack races except with trash bags.
I didn’t think conducting a trash bag race would’ve given us an accurate measure of how stretchable the Glad ForceFlex is, but it sounded more fun than some expensive machine.
So to accomplish this, I called up some friends who I thought might be interested in helping me for the greater good of consumers.
Unfortunately when I called them, all I heard was, “No way,” “That’s so lame,” “Um, no,” and “You know the restraining order prevents you from calling me.”
Since no one wanted to participate in the Glad ForceFlex trash bag races, I had to do it on my own, just like my sex life.
What makes the Glad ForceFlex so special is the unique diamond texture that stretches around objects to help prevent rips and tears. That diamond texture sure did stretch around my feet as I placed them into one of the ForceFlex bags.
So after stepping inside one of the bags, I hopping around the Impulsive Buy like a rabbit on crack for several minutes. Despite my constant hopping, the ForceFlex bag didn’t tear. But my constant hopping did cause me to become very winded, very quickly.
So what did I learn from my experiment? I learned that these Glad ForceFlex bags are very durable and that I’m out of shape.
Item: Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags
Purchase Price: $5.99
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Drawstrings. Durable. Stretchable.
Cons: No ForceFlex trash bag relay races. I’m out of shape. Makes bad ghost costumes for kids.
Topics: Home |
Related Reviews:
Crazy Visitor Email #1
Hefty HandySaks
Jack in the Box Natural Cut Fries
IKEA Plastic Bag
Double Zipper Ziploc Storage Bags
December 29th, 2004 at 10:44 am
They ought to apply that technology to condoms.
December 29th, 2004 at 10:47 am
Agreed. These bags work very well for all forms of garbage.
And our cats think it’s fun to try and undo the knot on top. Houdini style.
(Joking of course.
We staple them.)December 29th, 2004 at 10:47 am
golfwidow - Diamond textured for your pleasure.
UncleHornHead - Your cats are garbage?
December 29th, 2004 at 10:49 am
Well, my cheap ass $2 trash bags do the trick so I’m not spending $6 on those things. Besides, I’m a broke college student.
December 29th, 2004 at 3:41 pm
Mimi - As a former broke college student, I used the plastic bags that I got from the supermarket.
December 29th, 2004 at 4:13 pm
They’re also good for kicking peoples ass like Jackie Chan demonstrated in the commmerical.
December 29th, 2004 at 5:18 pm
Is there going to be a Glad vs. Hefty Jump*Off in the future? [Pretend that asterisk is a hyphen. And that these brackets are parenthesis.]
December 29th, 2004 at 5:50 pm
Saw this on my trip to Nowheresville, USA over Christmas…super cool…textured…oooooh
December 29th, 2004 at 6:50 pm
Aymie - Are you sure it’s the bag? Because Jackie Chan doesn’t need a bag to kick anyone’s ass.
Mellie - Yes, a Glad vs. Hefty fight to the death. I like it.
akiko - Super cool AND super textured.
December 29th, 2004 at 6:53 pm
i think the drawstring is what MAKES them a perfect costume for children! bwah ha ha ha ha
December 29th, 2004 at 11:57 pm
Webmiztris - I wonder if they are actually tough enough to handle the weight of a child? Or a dog? Whichever I can get my hands on first.
December 30th, 2004 at 9:11 am
I love, love, love these trash bags. Yes, I need bigger, stronger, tougher, streeeettcchhiieerr trash bags. I REALLY DO! Thank you Glad.
December 30th, 2004 at 3:23 pm
Jenny - Why do you need streeetttcchhiieerr trash bags?