I learned a very important lesson this weekend: Donâ€™t try to haggle with Girl Scouts, because they wonâ€™t budge.
Yesterday, while I was walking out of the national grocery store chain I shop at, out of nowhere three Girl Scouts appeared in front of my shopping cart. Fortunately, I have cat-like reflexes and I swerved the cart to avoid hitting them.
I looked at them and they all smiled and said a synchronized, â€œWould you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?â€
Usually I would avoid such fundraising efforts because Iâ€™m a really cheap bastard. However, itâ€™s been a few years since I had Girl Scout Cookies and I wondered if there were any new flavors. So I asked the three of them, â€œWhat flavors do you have?â€
They went through the list and it sounded like they were the same old flavors. I sighed and then asked them if they had any new flavors. This seemed to have stumped them because they began whispering to each other. After a few moments, they came to the consensus that there werenâ€™t any and they shook their heads.
After the quick disappointment wore off, I said to them, â€œYou Girl Scouts just changed the look of your uniforms, isnâ€™t it about time you girls changed the flavors of your cookies?â€
The three of them began whispering to each other again. After a few moments, I think they came to the consensus that Iâ€™m a big, yucky dork.
Since they didnâ€™t have any new flavors, I decided to get a box of Thin Mints. One of the girls told me theyâ€™re the most popular Girl Scout Cookies. After telling me that wonderful nugget of information that might come in handy during a game of Trivial Pursuit, I said to the girl, â€œWell I think if you had a chocolate chip cookie it would totally kick Thin Mintsâ€™ ass.â€
After our little banter, I asked the three girls how much the box of Thin Mints was.
â€œFour dollars,â€ they said with smiles.
â€œFour dollars!â€ I said with disbelief.
I couldâ€™ve sworn the last time I bought Girl Scout Cookies they were only three dollars, so I decided to haggle.
â€œHow about three dollars for the cookies?â€ I asked them.
â€œFour dollars,â€ they said.
I was going to start raising my offer in one cent increments, but all three of them had stern and bitchy looks on their faces, like their inner Omorosaâ€™s were coming out. So I paid my four dollars and pushed my cart away before they could use what they learned to earn their Self-Defense Girl Scout Badges.
When I got home, I opened the Thin Mints and began popping them one-by-one as I watched the Pittsburgh Steelers get whipped by the New England Patriots. Before I knew it, I ate half the box.
Iâ€™m usually not big on mint, except when itâ€™s in my toothpaste and chewing gum, but I like Thin Mints. They have a nice chocolate and mint mixture, which make them refreshing and satisfying. I would definitely buy more if they lowered the price a little.
Damn greedy Girl Scouts!
No wonder their uniforms are green.
Item: Girl Scouts Thin Mints
Purchase Price: $4.00
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: No tax. Nice chocolate and mint mix. Helps young women become happy and resourceful citizens.
Cons: No new Girl Scout Cookie flavors. Damn greedy Girl Scouts.