(Editorâ€™s Note: Itâ€™s Day Three of Reader Request Week here at the Impulsive Buy and todayâ€™s review request comes from Melanie, who asked for a Cookies & Twix candy bar review.
All I have to say to Melanie is, â€œAsk and you shall receive, unless you ask me to bail you out of jail. In that situation, your ass is on its own.â€ Enjoy the review.)
One of the reasons why I decided to review the Cookies & Twix candy bar was because Melanie claimed theyâ€™re almost as good as sex.
I didn’t quite believe her, so I decided to look deeper into it by reaching into my limited sexual history.
Wait, do blow-up dolls and shady massage parlors count?
Iâ€™ll just add them anyway.
After I scanned my limited sexual history, I realized that Melanie was wrong.
These Cookies & Twix candy bars are very good, so good, in fact, I think theyâ€™re better than first-time sex.
With first-time sex, thereâ€™s a lot of fumbling, not knowing where to put things, putting the condom on the wrong way, a lot of questions being asked, like â€œIs it in?â€, â€œDoes it feel good?â€ or â€œDoes it hurt?â€ and premature ejaculation.
I gotta admit, I would rather have a Cookies & Twix candy bar, than experience first-time sex all over again. So I believe that sometimes these Cookies & Twix candy bars are indeed better than sex.
Hey, she didn’t say what kind of sex?
Anyway, now that we have that settled, I really do like these Cookies and Twix candy bars, but I have a problem with them. Theyâ€™re hardly different than the delicious regular Twix?
They both have the same parts (a cookie, caramel, and chocolate), except put together differently.
Basically, a Cookies & Twix candy bar is a regular Twix turned inside out. Instead of having a cookie surrounded by caramel and chocolate, a Cookies & Twix candy bar is caramel and chocolate surrounded by a cookie.
I believe the Cookie & Twix candy bar is actually the deformed and rejected Twix, that have formed due to some kind of inbreeding. Of course, this is just a hypothesis, but the clues point to inbreeding.
Nevertheless, I love these deformed Twix, just as much as regular Twix.
Iâ€™ve got room in my stomach for both of them.
Item: Cookies & Twix
Purchase Price: 45 cents
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Very good. If you like Twix, youâ€™ll like these. Showing love to the Deformed Twix.
Cons: Looks kind of small. This is what you get when Twix inbreed.