Cookies & Twix

Cookies & Twix

(Editor’s Note: It’s Day Three of Reader Request Week here at the Impulsive Buy and today’s review request comes from Melanie, who asked for a Cookies & Twix candy bar review.

All I have to say to Melanie is, “Ask and you shall receive, unless you ask me to bail you out of jail. In that situation, your ass is on its own.” Enjoy the review.)

One of the reasons why I decided to review the Cookies & Twix candy bar was because Melanie claimed they’re almost as good as sex.

I didn’t quite believe her, so I decided to look deeper into it by reaching into my limited sexual history.

Wait, do blow-up dolls and shady massage parlors count?

I’ll just add them anyway.

After I scanned my limited sexual history, I realized that Melanie was wrong.

These Cookies & Twix candy bars are very good, so good, in fact, I think they’re better than first-time sex.

With first-time sex, there’s a lot of fumbling, not knowing where to put things, putting the condom on the wrong way, a lot of questions being asked, like “Is it in?”, “Does it feel good?” or “Does it hurt?” and premature ejaculation.

I gotta admit, I would rather have a Cookies & Twix candy bar, than experience first-time sex all over again. So I believe that sometimes these Cookies & Twix candy bars are indeed better than sex.

Hey, she didn’t say what kind of sex?

Anyway, now that we have that settled, I really do like these Cookies and Twix candy bars, but I have a problem with them. They’re hardly different than the delicious regular Twix?

They both have the same parts (a cookie, caramel, and chocolate), except put together differently.

Basically, a Cookies & Twix candy bar is a regular Twix turned inside out. Instead of having a cookie surrounded by caramel and chocolate, a Cookies & Twix candy bar is caramel and chocolate surrounded by a cookie.

I believe the Cookie & Twix candy bar is actually the deformed and rejected Twix, that have formed due to some kind of inbreeding. Of course, this is just a hypothesis, but the clues point to inbreeding.

Nevertheless, I love these deformed Twix, just as much as regular Twix.

I’ve got room in my stomach for both of them.


Item: Cookies & Twix
Purchase Price: 45 cents
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Very good. If you like Twix, you’ll like these. Showing love to the Deformed Twix.
Cons: Looks kind of small. This is what you get when Twix inbreed.

14 thoughts on “Cookies & Twix

  1. I told you they were good! Now you just have to freeze them and crush them up, then ad them to a big scoop of yummy vanilla ice cream!

    Thanks for reviewing it, and um, thanks for telling us that you own blowup dolls. I will cherish that thought FOREVER! You rock!

    Melanie

  2. i have to make sure from now on that I visit the little girls room before reading your reviews,, I just about pee’d my pants reading this!

  3. Who cares if they’re bigger? Size doesn’t matter…at least that’s what MY husband says! Wait….I want bigger too!!! Again, Marvo….cracking me up.

  4. Melanie – I also rock the blowup doll’s world.

    Webmiztris – Exactly! Deeeelicious!

    Tara – I think wearing Depends might be easier.

    Thumper – It’s one big bar. A regular Twix is two smaller bars. So I don’t know if you like have a big bar with some girth, or two skinnier bars.

    Aymie’s mom – If I’ve learned anything from my candy eating history and my limited sexual history, it’s that size doesn’t matter. A little candy bar can please someone just as good as a big candy bar.

    Lorien – Twix are one of my favorites, right behind 100 Grand. Cookies and Cream Twix used to be my favorite, but they don’t make those anymore.

  5. Marvo….maybe you’re right….but I think I’d rather have two or three little candy bars in a row!!!

  6. The great thing about these is that they don’t get your fingers all nasty. All the yummy chocolate is still there, but just not on your fingers.

    OMG! Orgasmic!

    Yeah…they are much bigger too!

  7. Melanie – Licking chocolate off of fingers is the best part. Except for people who don’t wash their hands after using the restroom.

  8. suki – I actually prefer Twix, because it has two bars. It’s great for sharing. Because sharing is caring.

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