Oh Jack in the Box, when will you learn?
You canâ€™t give your food items funny names without them getting teased. First it was Pannido? Now itâ€™s Ciabatta? What are you trying to do, get them beat up?
Well, now that I think about it, it shouldnâ€™t be so surprising coming from Crack in the Box…Oh, wait, I mean, Crap in the Box…I mean, Wack in the Box…
Anyway, here are a couple of examples of how poor Ciabatta could be teased:
Hakuna Ciabatta! What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Ciabatta! Ainâ€™t no passing craze. It means no worries for the rest of your days. Itâ€™s our problem-free philosophy. Hakuna Ciabatta!
Or someone could say, â€œHey Ciabatta! Whereâ€™s Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon?â€
If thereâ€™s anyone who knows what itâ€™s like to have their name teased it would be me. For example, thereâ€™s Marvo the Retardo, Marvo the Bizzaro, Marvo the Lardo, Marvo the Farto…
STOP TEASING ME!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?!
STOP! STOP! Iâ€™M NOT CRYING!!!
NO, NO, NOT A WEDGIE!!!
NO, THOSE ARENâ€™T SKIDMARKS!!!
Oh sorry, I was having a schoolyard flashback.
Anyway, the Jack in the Box Classic Chicken Ciabatta is a new sandwich with a grilled chicken breast on a lightly toasted ciabatta bun with reduced fat herb mayo, sliced tomatoes, green leaf lettuce, and red onion slices.
Of course, the highlight of the sandwich is the Ciabatta, a bread with a crispy hard crust and a soft center, which is much like regular Italian bread and my pale body when itâ€™s been out in the sun for too long.
Unfortunately, the Ciabatta bread didnâ€™t add anything to the taste of the sandwich. Neither did the reduced fat herb mayo. At least itâ€™s high in protein, which will help me build some muscles on my pale body.
Itâ€™s sure a whole lot easier than shooting steroids into my ass.
Item: Jack in the Box Classic Chicken Ciabatta
Purchase Price: $5.79 (small combo)
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Pros: Ciabatta bread was fluffy, like hair styles from the 1980s. High in protein.
Cons: Pricey. Ciabatta bread doesnâ€™t add to the taste. Reduced herb mayo was bland. Easy name to make fun of. Hakuna Ciabatta!