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iPod Shuffle
By Marvo | March 24, 2005
FEMALE FRIEND: It’s soooo small.
MARVO: It’s not THAT small. Besides, it’s pretty powerful and it can go for a long time.
FEMALE FRIEND: How long can it go?
MARVO: I got it to last for over twelve hours.
FEMALE FRIEND: Twelve hours straight?
MARVO: Yeah.
FEMALE FRIEND: That’s a lot of Doggystyle, Piledriver, Missionary, Lotus, and Cowgirl.
MARVO: Oh, don’t forget the Pretzel, Helicopter, and T-Spoon.
FEMALE FRIEND: Do you mind if I touch it?
MARVO: Go ahead.
FEMALE FRIEND: Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize how smooth it was. So do you take it running with you?
MARVO: Yeah, I HAVE TO take it with me. Although when I put them in my shorts, it kind of protrudes.
FEMALE FRIEND: So do people notice it protruding when you’re running?
MARVO: I don’t know, but I feel it bouncing around. I’ll probably buy something so that it doesn’t flop around so much.
FEMALE FRIEND: Do you think you’re hurting it when it flops around like that?
MARVO: I don’t think so, because it’s pretty durable and it hasn’t skipped a beat. Although, when I first got it, I had some problems with it.
FEMALE FRIEND: Like what?
MARVO: Well basically, it didn’t always work right. I’ll be in the middle of using it and then everything goes soft.
FEMALE FRIEND: It gets turned off or something?
MARVO: Yeah, but everything is fine now. I just looked at some stuff on the internet and it stays turned on now.
FEMALE FRIEND: So how does it work?
MARVO: Just grab it, use your thumb, and stroke it right here.
FEMALE FRIEND: Right here?
MARVO: Yeah. Some people have had trouble turning it on, so you might have to stroke it a little harder.
FEMALE FRIEND: Oh my goodness, I turned it on. So how do I make stuff come out of it?
MARVO: You just have to push the right button.
FEMALE FRIEND: This button?
MARVO: Oh yeah, that’s the button.
FEMALE FRIEND: So when you wanna put stuff on it, where do you stick it?
MARVO: I stick it into a USB port, where it also gets charged up. It takes about three to four hours to fully be ready to go again.
FEMALE FRIEND: So what else does it come with?
MARVO: It came with a couple of things, a pair of earbuds and a lanyard, which you can use to hang it from your neck. But I don’t like to wear it like that. I prefer to keep it in my pants.
FEMALE FRIEND: It doesn’t have a screen, so how do you know what’s playing?
MARVO: Well when I’m using it, it’s usually in my shorts and I don’t really need to look at a screen. I pretty much know what’s on it, because it only holds 125 songs. But if I need to switch to something else, I’ll just play with it through my shorts. I know where the right buttons are.
FEMALE FRIEND: So does it vibrate?
MARVO: No, it doesn’t vibrate.
Item: iPod Shuffle
Purchase Price: $99.00
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Light and small, but not THAT small. Great for exercising. Durable. Doesn’t skip. Cheapest iPod.
Cons: Had occasional problems with keeping it turned on. No screen, which maybe a problem for some. Some might have trouble turning it on.
Topics: Tech |
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March 24th, 2005 at 2:06 am
Very amusing review, Marvo. I’m glad you no longer have trouble keeping her turned on…your Shuffle that is…btw, does your Shuffle have a name also? She can’t be quite as slutty as your Ipod, I suppose…
March 24th, 2005 at 3:29 am
Marvo, you have managed to amuse me once again. I love your reviews and would love a chance to “touch it” too.
March 24th, 2005 at 3:50 am
Sounds quite interesting.. actually..
But I don’t think its any competition to an iRiver.
yes, thats what I have.
hmm.. maybe a review would not be a bad idea.
So, how long to go down after “charge-up” ?
March 24th, 2005 at 4:54 am
*blushing*
I need a cigarette.
March 24th, 2005 at 6:13 am
Only a half a gigabite? Some might prefer something with a bigger harddrive. You might want to put some protection around it too, do you know where her hand has been? Who knows how many ipods its been shuffling.
March 24th, 2005 at 6:32 am
Okay now I am going to have to go find my husband and ermm…yeah. Ok. bye.
March 24th, 2005 at 7:40 am
I’ve had my little shuffle for almost 2 months and it continues to rock my world on a daily basis - I happen to like the size of it because it fits right into my… pocket
March 24th, 2005 at 7:51 am
Do you find yourself in envy of those with those big wide iPods, though? I mean, SO much more stuff comes out of them. I’ve only seen people with those on TV or on my computer though. I’m not sure the average person has them.
March 24th, 2005 at 8:25 am
best review ever
March 24th, 2005 at 8:54 am
I have never been so turned on by an iPod before.
Well, except for that one time, but the court order says I am not allowed to talk about it..
March 24th, 2005 at 10:11 am
Great Review….Lmao
Have you ever had to take it to the hospital after playing with it for four hours?
March 24th, 2005 at 10:26 am
Best review ever my friend!!!
Makes me want to go out and get some… uh, I mean get one too (heh heh heh).
March 24th, 2005 at 10:58 am
Chuck - Actually, my Shuffle is a dude, and I named him Stick. Not as slutty as iVory, but still a man whore.
Ayesha97 - Unfortunately, it’s not THAT long.
S - Once it’s charged, I can make it last over 12 hours. That’s a lot of Bump and Grind.
Julie - Actually, I was going to call it Cigarette, because it’s as thin as one.
kevin - You know, some people just don’t want anything too big. When it’s too big, you might accidently sit on it or something.
March 24th, 2005 at 11:01 am
: fanning self : You know, up until now, I wasn’t all that interested in getting one of those, but now…well, you’ve inspired me. Quite.
March 24th, 2005 at 11:08 am
FoFuSa - Bye. Have fun!
cate - I like it because it’s pretty durable. I’ve banged it around a few times and it still keeps going.
John - I’ve got iVory, my 20GB ipod, and she has taken quite a bit.
Master Foley - Thanks.
Lord Jezo - Hopefully, it didn’t hurt.
Damon - Thanks.
Did I have to go to the hospital? Nah, I’ve played with it so much that it likes to be played with for more than four hours.
akiko - Thanks, my friend.
Mellie - I’m glad you’re interested, but if you get one, be careful. You might have more fun than you think.
March 24th, 2005 at 12:00 pm
Your female friend should consider herself lucky that she got to play with your stick
March 24th, 2005 at 12:31 pm
fantastic review..lol
March 24th, 2005 at 1:45 pm
Toni - I was happy to let her play with my stick.
Nynaeve - Thanks.
March 24th, 2005 at 2:15 pm
brilliant and hilarious review, marvo!!!
March 24th, 2005 at 3:13 pm
I think it’s worth it to spend the extra $100 and get the iPod Mini.
http://www.grouchygolf.blogspot.com/
March 24th, 2005 at 3:40 pm
Webmiztris - Thanks, believe it or not it’s gotten a great response in Iceland. No really, I’ve been getting hundreds of visitors from Iceland because of this review.
Golf Grouch - I’d rather go running with an iPod Shuffle than an iPod Mini, but I have to admit ever since they introduced the $199 iPod Mini, the iPod Shuffle seems less impressive.
March 24th, 2005 at 6:17 pm
Yeah marvo, your review popped up on a very popular link site here in Iceland
Good job btw.
March 24th, 2005 at 6:47 pm
Vi(Sorry I don’t know how to make that special charater)ar - Thanks for the compliment. I’ve gotten over 2,000 hits from that site. Now I know what it feels like to be David Hasselhoff. Oh, if only those hits came from Kottke or Boing Boing, but still, having all those hits from Iceland rocks.
March 24th, 2005 at 7:40 pm
I think this is the funniest Impulsive Buy review ever. Now I know why all the people in the commercial are dancing around.
March 24th, 2005 at 10:33 pm
rfduck - Thanks. I’m pretty active when I use it too.
March 25th, 2005 at 6:54 am
[...] e Buy » Blog Archive » iPod Shuffle
A fantastic sexual great review of the iPod Shuffle. Can’t wait to get one!
This entry was posted
[...]
March 25th, 2005 at 7:12 am
Awesome Review!
March 25th, 2005 at 8:19 am
Mo - Thanks.
March 25th, 2005 at 9:05 am
The Shuffle is soooooooooooooooooooooo lame.
March 25th, 2005 at 1:28 pm
Christopher - Yeah, the Shuffle is lame. But I just don’t have the coordination to do it, especially the side-step shuffle. I can’t even do the Running Man. Oh, and please don’t ask me to do the Cabbage Patch. That would be embarrasing.
March 25th, 2005 at 2:56 pm
March 25th, 2005 at 4:12 pm
leova -
March 25th, 2005 at 8:08 pm
já þið eruð fávitar
March 25th, 2005 at 8:58 pm
Pabbi - I have no idea what your comment says, but I’m going to assume it’s something nice. Thank you.
March 29th, 2005 at 12:45 pm
Marvo
If only all reviews were done that way. The world would be a happier place - apart from the mums and dads having to explain it to their kids
I will have to look out for more of your reviews
Thanks for bringing a smile to me on a wet Tuesday night
March 29th, 2005 at 1:03 pm
Jon - No problem.
March 30th, 2005 at 3:11 pm
okay…now i’m totally embarassed to have my shuffle with me in my bag…y’know, for when i need it at work.
good review, marvo!
March 30th, 2005 at 3:32 pm
gen - Too bad it doesn’t vibrate.
April 2nd, 2005 at 6:31 pm
The Shuffle is a decent mp3 player, but for a few extra bucks, I would recommend the Iriver H10… just my opinion, though. Great Review, though. Nice site, as well.
April 16th, 2005 at 9:41 am
[...] ular men I might add, but in the interview you find out why. He has a degree in Theatre. My iPod shuffle isn’t that small! Besides, it isn’t the size of the boat that counts, it is the [...]
April 27th, 2005 at 10:17 pm
iPod Shuffle Reviewed
If you want a really comprehensive review of the iPod Shuffle (if you’ve been living in a cave for the past few months, the iPod Shuffle is this thingie,
I suggest you read this
…