Subway Club Salad

Subway Club Salad

(Editor’s Note: Welcome to Day Four of Salad Week here at The Impulsive Buy. Thank goodness the week is almost done, because my body has been acting strange with all of these vegetables. I actually had green poop yesterday. Anyway, here’s today’s review. Enjoy.)

Subway is known for making their sandwiches fresh, turning Jared Fogle into a celebrity, and giving adolescent boys another opportunity to snicker when they hear the words “foot long.”

They are also known for their Sandwich Artists, which we all know is just a nice term for “the person behind the counter.” Armed with fresh baked bread, fresh ingredients, disposable gloves, a bread knife, and possibly, tender loving care, Sandwich Artists will create your sandwich they way you like it.

However, I wasn’t in Subway for a sandwich, I was there for a salad.

I ordered a Subway Club Salad, which according to the Subway website, was supposed to contain roast beef, turkey breast, ham, chopped iceberg lettuce, baby spinach, red onions, tomatoes, cucumber slices, green pepper strips, black olive slices, and carrots.

However, the Subway Sandwich Artist apparently was also a Subway Salad Artist and instead of automatically putting in the ingredients listed on the website, she asked me what kind of vegetables I wanted. At first, I was surprised by this, but I eventually began to go down the list: Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, olives, etc.

The same vegetables they use in the sandwiches are the same ones used in the salad. Unfortunately, they didn’t have baby spinach. As for the roast beef, turkey, and ham, the slices were just slapped on top of the vegetables.

Now I don’t know if my Subway Salad Artist was going for an abstract look with my salad, but it did have it with the round tomato slices and the oblong slices of meat. I wondered if she was trying to create a harmonious arrangement of colors representing life with the salad, or if she was trying to say, “I hate my job as a Subway Sandwich/Salad Artist.”

After my Subway Salad Artist was done, I quickly realized I had just ordered a six-inch Subway sandwich without a bun, or “Atkins style” for you low-carb folks. Oh yeah, speaking of Atkins, I ended getting the Atkins Honey Mustard Dressing to put on top of my salad.

So basically, this salad was a six-inch Subway sandwich, without the bun, and it was the same price as a foot long sandwich. Heh, heh, heh…Foot long.

I felt ripped off.

Eating the salad made me feel even worse. There was way too much iceberg lettuce, which again, has even less nutritional value than David Blaine has magical powers. Also, the salad dressing had that typical Atkins taste, and I use the term “taste” loosely.

I think I’ll just stick to Subway sandwiches from now on.


Item: Subway Club Salad
Purchase Price: $5.89
Rating: 2 out of 5
Pros: Made fresh. Made your way.
Cons: Very pricey. Too much iceberg lettuce. High-sodium. Atkins Honey Mustard Dressing was weak.

37 thoughts on “Subway Club Salad

  1. I can’t believe it was $5.89 for a crappy salad. That is outrageous. Too bad you had to experience the salad.

  2. Dude That Salad Looks Like Shit!
    I Cant believe you even paid for it. They don’t even attempt to make the meat bite size, how Ghetto is that….lmao

  3. When I saw the photo, before I even read the post, my first thought was: gee, at Subway, it looks like they take a prepared sandwich, and just dump the contents sans bun onto a plate. I guess my assumption was pretty accurate! Or…perhaps you just got an “Artist” who didn’t know how to make a regulation Subway salad.

  4. Did the plastic knife cut it easily? did this salad kill the utensils? NOt killing the fork/knife could be another bonus, right?

  5. I’ve only had a salad from Subway once, I think, and they took all the meat, stacked it up and then rolled it in a little log. Then they cut the log into slices and put that on the salad. It was actually kind of an attractive, albeit overpriced, salad. The way they did yours, though, makes a much funnier picture for the review.

  6. It seriously looks like they dropped a fully made sandwich on the floor, and, in a useless attempt to save it, tried to pick it up and put it in a bowl. Subway’s roast beef already tastes like how you would feel if you saw a chimp beating a man to death with a crowbar and you could do nothing about it, and that’s WITH the bread! I can’t imagine the rainbow of processed meat flavors you must have experienced. It’s a good thing Yoda wasn’t here, cause you know what he’d say.

    “Tasteless and disgusting, this salad is. My bitch Subway I will make.”

  7. actually with the yellow honey mustard dressing, it sort of looks like Meat and Lettuce Nachos… mmm nachos.

    Hey, they get Souplantation in hawaii? It is overpriced but at least you get to pick veggies and the selection is OK. No meat on the salad though.

  8. Wow, I have to agree with the majority on this one. That is one hal-ass-looking salad. The LEAST they could have done was add scissors to their list of utensils and cut the pieces up into strips or squares, then tossing the whole thing into a big bowl with a bubble top and tossed it before serving it to you. Half-ass.

  9. This salad makes me sad.
    It looks pretty weak. the side salad at WENDY’S looks better!!!

    and atkins … blah! chupalo, atkins diet, you suck. LOW CARB PASTA IS THE WORST. *shudder*

  10. A riveting review. Which brought me to another fun idea that I would love to see unfold. A week-long review of a different Subway sub everyday. Think of the possibilities. Just THINK of them!

    (I’d start with the Oven-Toasted Chicken Bacon Ranch Sub, ’cause it’s yummy. “Yummy” being just my opinion of course. I await, with baited breath – baited with the Oven-Toasted Chicken Bacon Ranch Sub – for your opinion.)

  11. You know, I’ve had green poop before too. I asked Dr. Mom why, and she said I wasn’t drinking enough water. She also said that water would cure the flu I got last year. Water, water, water.

  12. Hey Marvo, the opening Editor’s Note of this review, combined with the picture of that salad, will definitely help me eat less tonight.

    I think Subway is lame in general. Their “Atkins Wraps” sucked. I’ll eat there if I’m starving, but there are SO many better places to get a sandwich. And I’ve heard scary things about their tuna salad.

  13. Becky – I didn’t even get Subway stamps with the salad. That was even more outrageous.

    Damon – Fortunately, they gave me a knife to cut the meat and the tomato slices, which would’ve been better as wedges.

    Mellie Helen – You and I may not think it looks like art, but maybe the Sandwich Artist does. Who are we to tell her what is and isn’t art? Art is subjective. Eh, what am I saying? The salad sucked big time.

    Amy in GA – The plastic utensils survived, but my faith in Subway didn’t.

    Bottom Feeder – They actually cut the meat for you? Damn, I have to find a new Subway.

    Thr4ll – I think dropping it on the floor might’ve added some flavor to the salad.

    Justina – No problemo!

  14. Bryan – Nope, no Souplantation, but we do have two Starbucks within 75 yards of each other.

    Kirkkitsch – Well the important thing is that I now know that I should never order a Subway salad and the Subway I go to is ghetto.

    KT – When I first saw low carb pasta in the store, I thought to myself, “This low-carb craze has gone too far.” Then a few minutes later, I saw low-carb bread and had a spastic Tourette’s episode right there in the bread aisle, scaring away all the old ladies shopping.

    Jessica – Hmm…Subway Week. Sounds like a good idea. We will see.

    me – Heh heh heh. Footlong…

    hismikeness – My mom told me hair would grow on my palms if I masturbated, she was wrong…It grew on my legs, arms, and in my nose.

    Chuck – Sorry about that, but I do put the “ew” in product review. Anyway, Subway is decent if you want a fast sandwich, but I agree, there are many other places to get a better sandwich.

    Lucy – I don’t even think croutons would’ve helped this salad.

  15. Marvo subway has ended its stamp club they no longer issue them
    too bad I used them frequently only for sandwiches though never had a salad from subway.
    for your subway review the honey mustard turkey with cucumbers and the red wine vinegrette are great in my opinion.
    by the way if you have any stamps saved up you can still use them but for a limited time.

  16. Thats a sick looking salad. I would throw up if I saw that thing…….or just throw it at some random old lady. Of course, Im saying this as a meatatarian, so, I guess I cant pass judgement on the greens or the appearance of them.

  17. wow… like everyone else the first thing I thought when I saw that was “they just took the bread away and put it in a bowl.” Too bad you didn’t even like the dressing though… honey mustard is my favorite! (Never tried the Atkin’s kind though)

  18. My stomach is turning just LOOKING at the meat blobs in that photo. YIKES! I applaud you for eating it!!

  19. Jay Nickola – One of those pictures make me gag. Guess which one?

    Kent Tell – Really? Oh man, that was one of the reasons why I went to Subway. Well I guess it’s off to Blimpy Subs from now on.

    HIM – You know what would be funny? If you gave it to some random old lady and that old lady threw it at another random old lady.

    Lorien – I like Honey Mustard too, but too bad they decided to use an Atkins-ize version of it. Here’s my theory with Dr. Atkins: He didn’t die. He faked his death like Elvis did. He’s enjoying the money he’s making from this low-carb fad somewhere in the Cayman Islands so he doesn’t have to pay taxes.

    nat – Your comment got me thinking what if the blobs of meat were corned beef, ground beef, and turkey spam. I wonder how that would taste?

    macOtto – You’re not back yet?

    akiko – You’re being sarcastic, right?

  20. I seriously cannot believe that picture. I thought it was a joke at first! The very least they could do is have bite-sized pieces of meat. Hell, you have to CUT INTO your SALAD to eat it. How absurd!

    Surely this is a sign that the sky is falling. 😮

  21. Eating vegetables doesn’t cause green doo. :: looks in toilet :: Being an anemic vegetarian will give you an almost beige color, though. Damn you, lack of iron!

  22. oops noticed something happen to my post when i added the linkthe last word in the previous post should be catsup. the link is: homepage.eircom.net/~brianfleury/archives/arcfctdec2002.htm probably won’t come up as a clickable link though since it doesn’t start as a www.

  23. Dude, if you want a worthwhile salad from a sub place, Quiznos is the only way to go. They run the meat and cheese through the little toaster deal so they’re all warm and melty on top of the salad and it is SO good. That creepy baby in there commercials is not cool though. So it’s kind of a toss up.

  24. Leila Katherine Thomas – Or it’s a sign that my Salad Artist was lazy.

    TheInfamousJ – Maybe I need to chew my food better.

    Webmiztris – I wish I had big slabs of meat that look difficult to eat.

    Kent Tell – I noticed that catsup isn’t as common as it was growing up. Oh well, thanks for the link.

    Genny from the Burbs – Mmm…Toasty. I’ve never been to Quiznos in my life and there’s one down the street. I shall venture there someday.

  25. You really should Marvo. While they lack sandwich artists, the sandwiches themselves are high quality delicious.

  26. That Subway salad has got to be one of the grossest salads I’ve ever seen in my life, and I LIKE eating their sandwiches! My first thought was, “Why the hell are the whole giant slices of meat on top of the veggies? Weird.”

    You MUST go to Quizno’s. I recommend the Black Angus beef sandwich. If your Quiznos is not in a ghetto area, most likely they won’t be chintzy with the beef slices and give you nice, thick slices of beef with melty cheese on top, all in a toasty, crusty bun. It’s so expensive but so gooooood.

  27. Ken – I definitely will.

    Toni – Wow. A lot of people seem to like Quizno’s. I only liked them for their Spongmonkey commercials.

  28. As a subway sandwich artist i must say that that salad was incredibly sad, but don’t bitch about it, tell it to the owner, manager or artist, believe me, its helps them train better.

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