Oh my god, Fruity Pebbles, pink was, like, so 2004.
I donâ€™t know if you, like, got the memo, but pink is, like, no longer the new black.
So why donâ€™t you, like, go back home to your South Beach Diet and listen to the Usher song â€œYeah!â€ on, like, your CD player?
Oh my god, youâ€™re, like, so uncurrent. I bet you, like, still call P. Diddy, Puff Daddy.
I mean, like, where have you been for the past five months? Living in, like, a cave?
Not even Pink likes pink anymore. I heard sheâ€™s gonna, like, change her name to Fuchia or something like that.
Oh my god, like, look at your shoes! Have you been, like, shopping from the clearance rack?
Pffff… You know what? I had those shoes in, like, 2003. But, like, a week later I donated them to Goodwill, because they, like, werenâ€™t in style anymore. I bet thatâ€™s where you, like, got them from.
I bet you, like, also still have acid-washed jeans and Benetton clothing in your closet.
Why are you, like, adding a new color anyway? Itâ€™s not like you taste any better or look any better. You couldâ€™ve, like, added death black, vomit green, or doo-doo brown, you still will, like, taste the same.
Oh my god, like, you have so many colors anyway, Fruity Pebbles. Itâ€™s like you got caught in a tornado with, like, Elton Johnâ€™s wardrobe.
Why donâ€™t you, like, add marshmallows or something? Those are, like, so hot right now. But, like, if you donâ€™t do it by next week, itâ€™s gonna be, like, so not hot, like that pink outfit youâ€™re, like, wearing.
Oh my god, how about some, like, contrast? You look like a bottle of, like, Pepto Bismol.
I think I, like, need a bottle of it right now, because Iâ€™m, like, getting nauseated from looking at how uncool you are.
Anyway, I have to, like, go, because, like, your uncoolness is, like, totally rubbing off on me. I think I have to, like, buy a whole new wardrobe because of you. And, like, I guarantee my new wardrobe wonâ€™t have, like, any pink.
Item: Post Fruity Pebbles with New Bedrock Berry Pink
Purchase Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Tastes just like normal Fruity Pebbles. Thereâ€™s, like, 10 essential vitamins and minerals.
Cons: Pink was, like, so 2004. Like, so uncurrent. Adding, like, a new color is, like, so not hot. The game on the back of the box was, like, hard.