The Oprah Magazine (June 2005 Issue)

Oprah Magazine

While in high school and college, I tried to learn about the opposite sex by reading my twin sister’s Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, and Marie Claire magazines.

I even took those silly quizzes. However, now that I think about it, all I’ve learned from those quizzes were; I’m a bitch and a skanky ho.

Despite reading women’s magazines, I still wasn’t very good at impressing women in high school and college. However, looking back, the permed hair I had during those years might’ve been the reason why I wasn’t successful with women.

Recently, I picked up the June 2005 issue of The Oprah Magazine, or “O” for short, because there was an interview with Jon Stewart in it and I didn’t like the quizzes offered in the other women’s magazines.

Do I really need to know how much of a flirt I am? Or, do I need to know if my man is cheating on me? I don’t think so.

Anyway, the issue I picked up is apparently the “men’s issue,” with a lot of articles about men. However, I found out that it’s strong enough for a man, but with the tampon ads, made for woman.

After reading the magazine, I didn’t learn much about the opposite sex, but I did see some nice things to buy for a girlfriend, if I had one, and I also have a newly-discovered jealousy of women’s magazines.

I’m jealous because there are frickin’ coupons in the magazine. There’s a 3 Musketeers coupon, an All laundry detergent coupon, and TWO coupons for the McDonald’s Fruit & Walnut Salad.

All we’ve got in men’s magazines are women in bikinis and lingerie, sports cars, and cool gadgets. Those are all great things, but why can’t we get some coupons too? I would totally dig some Burger King coupons or lap dance coupons.

Another cool thing about The Oprah Magazine is Oprah.

For a 51-year old woman, she is looking so fine. If Stedman wasn’t in her life, I’d be totally trying to mack with her.

You might think I’d only mack with her because she’s got a lot of money, but no, that wouldn’t be the case. I’d do it because I think she’s hot and maybe together we could have my wildest dream on her Wildest Dreams Bus.

Despite the interview with Jon Stewart, the coupons, and hot pictures of Oprah, there were a few things that bothered me about the magazine: The pictures of Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil is a scary-looking and scary-sounding man. Just the sight of him makes my Oprah boner turn flaccid.


Item: The Oprah Magazine (June 2005 Issue)
Purchase Price: $3.95
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Frickin’ coupons! Oprah. Jon Stewart interview.
Cons: Dr. Phil is scary (and insane).

34 thoughts on “The Oprah Magazine (June 2005 Issue)

  1. I like some of the underwear ads in women’s magazines, personally, but other than that…I don’t read them too much. Dr. Phil pictures would be enough to give anyone nightmares, especially if he was in his underwear.

  2. Well I think Oprah would go for you in the Wildest Dream Bus. I think we should all have a Wildest Dream Bus. That would make the world a happier place!

  3. I have to say that this is probably the last thing I ever would have guessed would be reviewed here at the Impulsive Buy. Way to keep us really guessing, Marvo. I’m guessing about a few things now…

  4. If you were a multi-millionaire, I imagine you could be looking pretty good at age 51, too. Those microderm peels are expensive! Hey, if it’s coupons you’re after, you don’t have to succumb to purchasing “O” — check out coolsavings.com; there’s a ton of coupons there. And lastly: you find the “site” of Dr. Phil scary? You mean his web page frightens you? 😉

  5. Two Coupons for McDonald’s Fruit and Walnut Salad?!?! I still havent tried that… you should review it and let us know how it is! You can be our guinea pig!? 🙂 Oh wait, that link means you did review it… Ok so never mind…

  6. When I hit the link to Wilest Dream Bus and set of boobs popped up. Granted they had a ugly bra around them. It reminds me of the days when looking at a sears catalog bra section was equal to playboy today. Ahh Boobs.

  7. Chuck – I want to thank you for the “wonderful” image you’ve just put in my head of Dr. Phil in some tighty whities.

    Lenochka – Okay, I thought the image Chuck gave me was bad, but the image of Dr. Phil in women’s underwear is much worse.

    Lord Jezo – Yeah, we rock!

    Amy in GA – It was a buy one get one free coupon. How sweet is that?

    Becky – If the bus is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.

    celebrate woo-woo – Hmm…Two $1 coupons for the McDonald’s salads. A free 3 Musketeers bar, when you buy another. And a free bottle of Organic Prego, when you buy a bottle of All detergent. I think that turns out to be more than $3.50.

    Bottom Feeder – Got to mix it up, because I can only review so many energy drinks and Pop-Tarts before the sugar drives me insane.

  8. i would totally mack on dr. phil before i’d mack on oprah. i think dr. phil is a sex maniac underneath all that bad advice.

  9. Rev. Dubya – I think if he shaved off all his hair on his head, he would look even more evil.

    Mellie Helen – I know this maybe hard to believe, but I actually do proofread each review before I post it. However, most of that proofreading happens at about 1 am, with one eye shut, and dreams of Winona Ryder swirling in my head. 🙂

    Ultimate Best Vamp Ever – If you like fruit and you like walnuts, I suggest you give it a try.

    clearlynuts – It’s been awhile since my cross-dressing days, so I don’t really have a use for lingerie and bikini coupons.

    Amy in GA – I would print coupons online, but tried it once and the store said they wouldn’t accept it. So since then I haven’t used it.

    The Hammer – Ahhh…Victoria’s Secret catalogs.

    Tech Wench – Thanks for pointing it out and I like the look of your site.

    lakitu – Personally, I think Dr. Phil is horrible lover underneath that mustache.

  10. The idea of Dr. Phil naked, let alone having sex, is enough to give me night terrors. Those are worse than nightmares. I’d rather see Dr. Ruth naked, and I shudder just thinking about how saggy she must be by now. Is she even alive still? Regardless, it’s gotta be better than Dr. phil. he’s just creepy…yes I said it, creepy…

  11. Being a guy, you probably didn’t check out the fashion or home sections. Although Oprah mag presents lovely things, they are often expensive items, quite out of reach for a lot of women. I think Oprah mag is out of touch with many women! I just say no….

  12. aren’t the coupons wonderful? I get Glamour magazine and it’s only $12/year. Even if you just use a couple of the coupons included each year, the subscription pays for itself!!

  13. Amy in GA – Yes, I believe Dr. Ruth is alive and my theory with her is, she must know some pretty good sex positions and techniques.

    nat – I went through the “O List,” which consists of very pricey items, like a $115 coral picture frame and a $65 makeup bag. Pricey…yes. Better than the cheap cubic zirconia ring I would probably get a woman instead…yes.

    Lucy – I bought it also for the Jon Stewart interview and the possible women’s lingerie ads.

    Damon – Honestly, I never watch her show for fear of the Dr. Phil sighting.

    Webmiztris – Dammit! Why doesn’t Maxim have coupons?

  14. If you ever need to buy a gift for someone, I am volunteering. I know I am married, but I think my hubby will understand since I will be getting some free stuff. On occasion, just send something manly. :o)

  15. hey we can make a team of trying to mack on them….my mom can go for dr phil cause shes creep like that…you can hit on oprah and i can work on jon stewart mmmmmm jon stewart

  16. Marvo, how often do you post reviews for products? I had so much fun reading all kinds of reviews yesterday….so today when I got in to work I was all excited about reading the next review….but no review, I cried…ok, so I didn’t really cry…but still!!! hehe. Soooooo when’s the next one? You should review Hersheys Strawberry kisses. I’ve seen them, scared to try em.

  17. Yuh, where’s today’s review?

    Of course, you have links to some other reviews in your sidebar, but I’ve already perused my own review for the day. I wanna see yours.

  18. Kent Tell – I shall try to use coupons there. Thanks for the suggestion.

    Goldberry – As you know, I’m a cheap bastard, so if I ever send anyone else a gift, it would be something like a stick of gum.

    caitlin – Ewww…Your mom likes Dr. Phil. Ewww.

    Ultimate Best Vamp Ever – Usually, I do four to five reviews a week. Sorry there’s no review today, but my brain and body doesn’t work too well when it’s got a runny nose, coughing, and a sore throat. You want to see scary? Just read a review that under the influence of NyQuil. It’s not pretty. I skip nouns and verbs.

    Bottom Feeder – You can read the past reviews, although only one out of fifty are any good.

  19. Ok Marvo, Since you’re sick.. I’ll let it slide.. but I better see a review tomorrow!! 😉 No really, hope you feel better! Don’t make me come over there and nurse you back to health… i’ll do it if thats what it takes to get a review tomorrow!

  20. Dr Phil is a scam artist. Biggest one ever. What other overweight dude gets paid to tell people how to lose weight.

    I’d do Oprah, too, but it would be totally for the money.

    (*)>

  21. I need to get the copy of the magazine but cannot get my hand on it.
    Cannot find it anywhere at all. Any ideas where can i do that.
    I can buy from you….

  22. birdwoman – You know what they say: Never trust a bald hair stylist.

    dreamer – Sorry, I don’t know if you want my copy, because some of the pages somehow got…um…stuck together. The Oprah circulation is pretty large so I’m sure you could find it an any bookstore or grocery store. I bought my copy last week.

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