A few female readers requested that we do a few womenâ€™s products, particularly the Veet Rasera, which is a hair removal cream that comes with a plastic squeegee to help remove the hair.
Seeing that I didnâ€™t have the proper equipment for tampons or the estrogen and ovaries for the Ortho Evra birth control patch, I decided to review the Veet Rasera.
Now I have hairy legs, which keep me warm at night, adds several seconds to my 200 meter breaststroke time, and makes my legs more humpable for dogs.
I had second thoughts about removing the hair on my legs because I have a lot of scars on them from my BMX bike jumping days.
Then I remembered a wise man once said, â€œPain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever,â€ and I decided to show off my scars.
Then I remembered it wasnâ€™t a wise man, it was what Keanu Reeves said in the movie â€œThe Replacements.â€
Anyway, armed with the Veet Rasera, I walked into my bathroom and began the difficult task of mowing down the veritable forests on my legs.
The Veet has an obvious chemical smell, but it does smell better than the Nair products I smelled at the store. However, neither product tastes as good as or has a better name than the hair removal product, Nads.
When I applied the Veet to my legs and let it sit for three minutes, I didnâ€™t feel any burning. However, later when I applied it to my chest, it stung pretty badly and left my chest red and irritated for the rest of the day.
After the three minutes were up, I used the Rasera Bladeless Tool (ie squeegee), to remove the hair from my legs. Overall, it got rid of the hair pretty well, although there were areas on my legs that still had hair. However, having patches of hair on my legs mightâ€™ve had to do with the fact that Iâ€™ve never shaved my legs before and I canâ€™t see the back of my legs very well.
Too bad Iâ€™m not possessed, because as we all learned from Linda Blair, possessed people are able to turn their heads around 360 degrees. Oh yeah, and R2D2 too.
So I had hairless legs, but I think my skin was numb because I couldnâ€™t feel the air coming out from my Vornado fan.
Anyway, having hairless legs made me feel more aerodynamic. It made me want to put a band aid on my legs and rip it off to know what it feels like to not have the band aid rip out a few legs hair. It allowed me to close my eyes, stroke my legs, and a pretend I was with a woman.
It also made me cold.
Without the insulation of my hairy legs, I believe my body dropped slightly in temperature, which caused me to get sick last week.
DAMN YOU, VEET! DAMN YOU!
But alas, just like most of Jennifer Lopez’s romantic relationships, I knew it couldnâ€™t last forever. After one day, I could start to feel stubble on my legs. However, hair anywhere on my body grows back very quickly, so your mileage will probably vary.
Item: Veet Aloe Vera Rasera Bladeless Kit
Purchase Price: $9.89
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Rasera Bladeless Tool (ie squeegee). Not as smelly as Nair products. Did a good job of removing hair. Stroking my smooth legs.
Cons: Skin numbness. May irritate skin. Got sick due to losing the insulation from hairy legs. Not as tasty as Nads.