Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple Cereal

Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple Cereal

I grew up with cattle grazing in the pastureland behind my house. Looking back, I sometimes wonder how cattle ended up on Noah’s Arc, because they happen to be not very bright and very easily scared animals.

However, they still are more intelligent than guys who actually think Axe or Tag body spray will attract beautiful women and not as easily scared as the beautiful women who are approached by guys who wear Axe or Tag body spray.

Sometimes, when I was bored of riding bikes, shooting hoops, or sneaking peeks at my friend’s hidden stash of Playboy, I would try to recreate scenes I saw on PBS nature shows. I would pretend to be either a wolf, tiger, crocodile, or rockstar groupie stalking its prey, which were the cattle.

However, I wasn’t very good with stalking prey, because as I approached the cattle, they would all quickly run away from me, like I was Celine Dion about to sing.

At the time, it was hard for me to comprehend why cattle were so afraid of me. After all, each of them were five times bigger than me, a husky twelve year old. It was also hard for me to comprehend because the male cattle had the biggest balls I had ever seen and I learned in grade school that the bigger your balls were, the more courage you’ll have.

But then again, I did run towards them with my arms flying around in the air and yelling like I was Andy Dick on a cocaine binge. I think that would pretty much scare anything.

One day, while approaching some cattle, I unfortunately stepped on a land mine. Not a real land mine, although my town was a training area for the US Army during World War II, and I once did find a live grenade in the stream that separates my house from the pastureland.

To my friends and I, a land mine was pile of cattle poop, or otherwise known as a cowpie. The land mine I stepped on was unfortunately warm and fresh. I think the cattle were entertained by this, because some of the cattle mooed at me.

From that moment on, I stopped stalking cattle and turned my attention towards stalking Alyssa Milano.

So was there a point to this story? Not really, but a bowl Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple cereal does look like a bunch of small cowpies.

Oh, they also look like Princess Leia’s hair buns. So that means all I need now is a gold bikini and a pre-Trimspa Anna Nicole Smith to play Jabba the Hut to recreate the skiff scene from Return of the Jedi.

Anyway, despite looking like small cowpies and Princess Leia’s hair buns, the Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple cereal was good and I liked it better than the Mini Swirlz Cinnamon Bun version. Although I wish it was a little more fudgy and it made my milk fudgier.

Wait…Now that I think about it, a lot of the things I eat look like poop. Cocoa Puffs looks like rabbit poop, chocolate soft serve ice cream in a bowl looks like dog poop, and a Snickers bar looks like my poop.


(Editor’s Note: I just wanted to thank everyone for the anniversary congrats last week. As for the prize drawing, I hope to hold it sometime this week. I’ll keep you posted.)


Item: Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple Cereal
Purchase Price: $3.50
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Good. Looks like Princess Leia’s hair buns. Better than Cinnamon Bun version.
Cons: Looks like mini cowpies. Could use more fudgy taste. Doesn’t make milk very fudgy. Gets soggy pretty quickly.

31 thoughts on “Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple Cereal

  1. You silly, cows don’t have balls because they’re female! I think you were looking at a steer. I live in Kansas. I know these things. That aside, the cereal definitely look like cow poop, which is probably why I couldn’t bring myself to eat them.

  2. TJ – Heh. Heh. You said “poop!”

    pel – Oops. Thanks for the clarification. 🙂 I made the appropriate changes to the review. I think I need to watch the nature shows on PBS more closely. 😉

  3. My, such a healthy looking cereal. Is it high in fiber? If so, the appearance of the cereal would add to the urge to stay regular.

  4. This one’s totally meant for me, mother of an 8-year-old who wants every stinking chocolate cereal known to man. Of course, he usually decides about 1/4 of the way through the box that he does not like it! Soggy won’t go over here, so thanks for sparing me!!

  5. you forgot raisinettes…deer poop
    anyway watch out for alyssa milano pies that will put an end to that obsession rather quickly

  6. Good review, Marvo. I had a choice between these and Marshmallow Mania Pebbles…and after all of the poop references, I’m glad I chose the Pebbles.

  7. Mm, fresh warm fudge cinnamon rolls… or cow crap… mmm….

    How does it taste dry? I usually eat my cereal right out of the box, no interferin’ milk messing up MY morning experience (or afternoon, or midnight). Frosted flakes are good that way, and Special K Fruit & Yogurt, and a couple other cereals, too. Mini wheats don’t work, neither does Raisin Bran. Anyway…

    My brother uses Axe religiously. I have yet to understand why.

  8. Regarding the Noah’s Ark story, Eddie Izzard postulated that ducks and fish should rule the world if the whole planet was flooded. Extrapolating more, I guess the same goes for sharks and whales. What’s the point? Nothing really, I just wanted to use some big words.

  9. Ayesha97 – Nah, I’m just weird.

    Chuck – It has one gram of fiber. So that means you would probably have to eat an entire box to get the same about of fiber found in a bowl of Raisin Bran.

    Muneer – I don’t think they would have it at a convenience store. Heck, they don’t even have it at Wal-Mart.

    Lucy – So I wasn’t weird and a dork in grade school? I was imaginative? That’s sounds better than being called weird and a dork.

    nat – Wow, your 8-year-old sounds just like me when I was growing up. Watch out, you might have a quasi-product review blog editor on your hands.

  10. caitlin – Deer poop looks like raisinettes? I guess I wouldn’t know that since we don’t have any deer here. I wonder if there was any deer poop in Bambi?

    Princess Amy – Oh, I would’ve stuck with these. I don’t really like the Marshmallow Mania Pebbles. But you might like them.

    Tristyn – It tastes all right dry, but you should try the Vanilla Creme Mini-Wheats dry. I think it tastes pretty good dry.

    klew – Aw man, I have to use a dictionary to read your comment. Damn my English degree!

  11. “Chuck – It has one gram of fiber. So that means you would probably have to eat an entire box to get the same about of fiber found in a bowl of Raisin Bran.”

    But all of the sugar in it would cancel out the fiber.

  12. When I was in college I rented a room in a house out in the dairy cow pastures. The cows pushed over the fence regularly and would end up on our back porch.

    They would leave us gifts. Now that we’d mistake them for breakfast delivery or anything.

    (Oh, and in case you didn’t see this review I did: http://www.typetive.com/candyblog/2005/08/poopy-candy.html – maybe those cereal nuggest would fit inside those cow candy dispensers)

  13. As an inhabitant of a cow heavy area, I’d have to say it’s less the appearance of cowpies than the smell that is truly unappetizing. And I’m generally considered at least a very cute woman, and both Axe and Tag are noxious. More so, in very heavy application, than the cowpies.

  14. Muneer – True. Also don’t forget the carbs.

    cybele – This cereal would cause the cow candy dispensers to be constipated. Ooh, alliteration!

    Genny from the Burbs – I’m generally considered semi-cute or borderline homely, after a woman drinks a few beers, but I think that would be thrown out of the window if I wore Axe or Tag body spray. Or cowpies.

  15. holy crap! I thought the same thing – that they looked like piles of dung – before I even read your post! gross….

    but I’d totally try them anyway. 🙂

    I have the cinnamon bun ones in my cabinet. they’re OK I guess.

  16. Webmiztris – Yeah, the cinnamon ones were okay. At least they look like cinnamon buns.

    Damon – Cooookie Crisp! Oh yeah, just to let you know, a couple of readers told me that there’s a Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp. So be on the look out for that.

  17. Oh yes! Baby cow pie lookin’ cereal, YUM! The thought of eating cereal that looks just like cow pies kind of takes my breath away. And with the cow’s milk on it too…double Yum!
    Goes very nice together, huh? Except it’s not fudgy enough. Bummer!

    I always thought that Tootsie Rolls look exactly like my cat’s poop.

  18. “So that means all I need now is a gold bikini and a pre-Trimspa Anna Nicole Smith to play Jabba the Hut to recreate the skiff scene from Return of the Jedi.”

    Marvo, don’t you think that Sally Struthers would make a better Jabba the Hutt? Surely you know what I’m referencing.

  19. rfduck – I guess it’s like how “Marvo getting laid” is redundant. Or is that an oxymoron?

    Vegan Chick – I think if you put some kitty litter around the Tootsie Roll then it would totally look like cat poop.

    Brandon – Cinnamon fudge…Sounds like a stripper’s name.

    Toni – I thought about Sally Struthers, but I would totally be copying South Park and people would call me an unoriginal bastard. Besides, I think a pre-Trimspa Anna Nicole Smith would make a better Jabba the Hut, because when Jabba the Hut speaks, I have no idea what he’s saying, and when Anna Nicole Smith speaks, I have no idea what she’s saying.

    Twinge – Don’t all sugary cereals taste ridiculously artificial? Look at Capt Crunch. It’s so artificially flavored that I don’t even know what it’s suppose to taste like.

  20. Brandon – I don’t know if I’m totally perverse or something, but I think most sugary cereal names could be used as stripper names. Capt Crunch sounds like a male stripper name. Honeycomb could be a female stripper name.

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