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Hooters Buffalo Style Chicken Strips
By Marvo | August 22, 2005
I didn’t buy these frozen Hooters Buffalo Style Chicken Strips because they were easy to make.
I didn’t buy them for the Hooters Original Medium Wing Sauce, which was all right.
I didn’t buy them so that I could finally accomplish my goal of having the word “Hooters” in every sentence of a review, so that I can giggle every time after I read the word “Hooters.”
I also didn’t buy them so I could blow up a couple of balloons, put on my Hooters uniform, stick the balloons under my Hooters uniform, and do jumping jack in the mirror.
I bought them to torture myself with a poor pre-cooked frozen representation of a food that will always taste 100 times better fresh and is always better when served to me by a woman in a tight Hooters uniform, who I have absolutely NO CHANCE in the world to score with, not even with Funky Cold Medina.
Now I don’t know what’s worse, getting a restraining order from a Hooters waitress or eating these Hooters Buffalo Style Chicken Strips.
Like I said before, the Hooters sauce was all right, but I don’t think that makes up for the fact that I paid over six bucks for this product and only got FIVE FRICKIN’ FROZEN STRIPS of boneless chicken.
Besides the amount of chicken, another thing that bothered me was the fact that the chicken wasn’t crispy after sticking them in the oven for suggested maximum of 13 minutes. The chicken were pretty limp, just like most men’s penises are when they realize they’re watching hermaphrodite porn.
Just remember to avoid any video with the title, “Double the Pleasure, Double the Trouble.” It really is double the trouble.
Anyway, I had the option of deep frying them, which probably would’ve made them crispy, but I lack a deep fryer and a healthy enough heart to withstand the shortening that the instructions suggested I use for frying.
If there was one thing that could’ve overcame the limp chicken, it would’ve been the sauce, but like I said before the sauce was okay. I remember the medium Hooters sauce in the restaurant being really spicy.
Oh wait. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t the medium Hooters sauce that I remember being really spicy, it was our waitress that was really spicy.
My bad.
(Editor’s Note: Okay. Okay. I suck! I still haven’t done the prize drawing yet. I will do it this week. I know I said that last week, but now I have someone to help me out.)
Item: Hooters Buffalo Style Chicken Strips
Purchase Price: $6.19 (on sale)
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Pros: Easy to make, if you’ve got an oven. Hooters Original Medium Wing Sauce was okay.
Cons: Overpriced. Only five frickin’ pieces of chicken. Limp chicken. Sauce wasn’t creamy, like on the box. Doesn’t include a Hooters waitress that will turn me down.
Topics: Food |
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August 22nd, 2005 at 2:34 am
hooters food is yummy too bad i am hotter than the chicks that serve me my wings
August 22nd, 2005 at 3:54 am
You’ve got to love a review that somehow manages to include the words, “Hooters”, “hermaphrodite porn,” “penises,” and “Funky Cold Medina.” But the image of you in a Hooters uniform doing jumping jacks scarred me for life.
August 22nd, 2005 at 4:47 am
I agree with Pel, that image of you in the uniform is stuck in my head along with the image of the guy in the speedo on the beach. Wow, It’s amazing how you impacted my life.
August 22nd, 2005 at 6:29 am
I’m disappointed that “hermaphrodite porn” isn’t one of the cons. I think there’s something you’re not telling us, Marvo.
August 22nd, 2005 at 7:17 am
I just saw this Hooters chicken in the freezer aisle and thought it must be some sort of joke.
Oh, I ate a Banquet Fried chicken meal yesterday ($1) which always comes out nice and crispy in the oven (microwave doesn’t do as well) … although the suggested oven time is about 40 minutes instead of 13!
August 22nd, 2005 at 9:23 am
Oh Marvo…nothing can duplicate the awesomeness of freshly fried Hooters wings. The idea of them as a frozen food you thaw in the microwave is just disgusting. I discovered Hooters wings recently when my boyfriend convince me to go. Of course he had ulterior motives- I’m sure the chicken wasn’t the only thing he likes at Hooters. Anyway, I’ll keep going to Hooters, even with the flirty waitresses in their tight tank tops and orange hot pants.
August 22nd, 2005 at 1:15 pm
Man, from chicken strips to hermaphrodite porn in ONE REVIEW! That was a truly impressive reference, Marvo.
August 22nd, 2005 at 1:45 pm
$6 for that shit? you got robbed…
plus you didn’t get to experience the cheesy atmosphere of a real Hooters! have you ever noticed how freakin’ thick their nylons are? All I can imagine when I go there is how awful their yeast infections must get. I wonder if they get paid in Vagisil tubes???
August 22nd, 2005 at 2:13 pm
I don’t even like their wings in the restaurant! Thanks for the warning!
And you made the right choice not deep frying the frozen wings. Imagine THE MESS!!!
LOL at Dawn’s comments!
August 22nd, 2005 at 4:27 pm
Wow You Got Ripped Off!
For That Much Money I Would At The Least Expect A Plastic Breast In The Box!
And The Box Doesn’t Even Have A Hooters Girl On The Front….
This Shit Sucks…:)
August 22nd, 2005 at 9:04 pm
is the price simply because you live on a rock in the middle of the ocean? i like hooters food, but i dont know that i’d pay that much for such a small amount of frozen hooters restaraunt reject food.
August 23rd, 2005 at 3:51 am
Ugh.
Hooters.
The one time I ate there we had actual feathers still on the chicken wings. We got the manager over and he said that usually they look much worse. I came home and searched on google for it and found that it’s a common thing all over the place.
Chicken wings with feathers still attached to them. That’s just plain nasty.
August 23rd, 2005 at 11:41 am
“Marvo doing jumping jacks in Hooter’s uniform with fake boobs” should be one of the cons. That alone makes me not even want to touch the box of these chicken wings.
August 23rd, 2005 at 12:37 pm
I’ve found that when I go to Hooters, the chicken tastes MUCH better after loads of beer. Maybe you should drink a lot of beer first and then they’ll taste fabulous! hee hee
August 23rd, 2005 at 10:54 pm
graceless - I wish I was hot enough for the chicks that serve me my wings.
Pel - You’re so lucky there isn’t a video of that.
Lucy - But have I impacted you positively or negatively?
Mir - But you know, sometimes hermaphrodite porn can be a positive, I’m not sure how, but there’s got to be something.
Bryan - I would prefer the TV dinner chicken over this stuff, but that TV dinner chicken is probably less healthy.
Toni - I’m sure your boyfriend really went there for the alcohol and the number of televisions in the place. Although, if he asks you to put on a Hooters uniform he bought for you, then forget what I just said.
Chuck - Hey Chuck! Welcome back! I was thinking about using the “choke the chicken” reference, but I used that the other week. So I was thinking to myself, “When I think of chicken strips, what else do I think of?” Then hermaphrodite porn popped into my head.
August 23rd, 2005 at 11:06 pm
Webmiztris - They wear nylons? I guess I never really looked. I’m more of a breast and butt kind of guy…Er, I mean…I’m more of a personality kind of guy.
nat - If you like the Webmiztris’ comments, you should read her blog! She’s hella funny.
Damon - You would think that if there’s any company in the world that knows how to use the “sex sells” concept, it would be Hooters. I’m also disappointed by the fact that there’s no Hooters girl on the box.
Megan - That could be it, but even at five dollars this would be really expensive.
Lord Jezo - I experienced that somewhere else, but I can’t figure out where it was. It wasn’t Hooters. Anyway, wherever it was, I ate the feathered chicken.
Brandon - Like I said before, you should be glad that there isn’t a video of it, because that would definitely be disturbing.
Nicole - You know, women say that I look MUCH better after loads of beer.
August 24th, 2005 at 1:19 am
grabbed this item on a recent trip to the store. Then put it back and told myself I’ll buy them on another to the store in the near-future. Now I will fore go this purchase altogether THANX Marvo!
August 24th, 2005 at 4:38 am
The tights are not really that thick, plus they help hold everything in. And when i worked there, I never had a yeast infection. They breathe, I think it’s just with tight non breathing clothes that that becomes a problem. But I will say personally, I think the food sucks. Other than the curly fries, they amused me. I think that anyone who works in a food place undoubtly hates the food there though, especially when you know what goes on in the kitchen. Knowing what people do to food is creepy. Which is why you should always be nice to your waitress and tip really well, so she’ll keep the kitchen from adding secret sauce.
August 24th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
KENT - I’m glad I can save you money.
Amy in GA - Despite being a cheap bastard, I do tip well at restaurants.
August 27th, 2005 at 12:16 am
You know, my husband swears he goes to Hooters just for the wings… I understand your desire to see if you could have that at home.
Oh, and there’s no Hooters in the last paragraph of your entry. I missed a giggle.
(*)>
August 27th, 2005 at 9:12 am
birdwoman - HOOOOOTEEERRRRRS!!! TAAATAAASSS!!! BOOOBIES!!! DOLLY PARTON!!! I think that makes up for the lack of Hooters in the last paragraph.