Fiber is one of those things that most people don’t get enough of, including myself. It helps prevent things like diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease. When I was told by my doctor that I needed more fiber in my diet, I decided to get that fiber the American Way.
Not in the form of vegetables or fruits, but in the form of either a pill, injection, or powder. I decided on powder, because I’m not very good at swallow pills and I fear that I won’t be able to do a fiber injection, unless Jose Canseco injected it into my ass for me.
So for the past couple of years I’ve been drinking Metamucil, which is a powder you mix with water.
At the time, I was so happy I was getting fiber, that I wrote a short poem:
Fiber helps when you’re stumped.
It can help you from getting plump.
It aids when you want to take a dump.
Metamucil comes only in an orange flavor, but when I say “orange flavor” I mean that very loosely. It tastes like the watered down orange Kool-Aid I made on my own when I was eight years old and didn’t understand basic fluid measurements, how to write a cursive “Z,” or knew what masturbation was.
Over the years, I’ve progressively gotten tired of that “orange taste.” So I was really excited when I noticed the new Citrucel Chocolate FiberShake Starter Kit at the national grocery store chain I shop at.
Again, I was so happy that I decided to write another short poem:
Fiber is really good for you.
It aids with lowering cholesterol too.
But it really helps when you go number two.
The Citrucel Chocolate FiberShake Starter Kit came with five individual packets of the powder mix and a shaker cup. Just like all hot chocolate powder mixes, I had the option of using either milk or water. However, for some strange reason, I felt very compelled to use milk while watching a Girls Gone Wild commercial.
Anyway, the taste of the Citrucel Chocolate FiberShake was good and kind of reminded me of Ovaltine. It’s definitely better than the orangy Metamucil taste.
Despite the great taste, I did have a few problems with it. The powder clumped up a little after shaking it with milk in the shaker cup. Also, if you let the mixture sit, the liquid will become sludge-like. However, that also happens with Metamucil. So you have to drink it pretty quickly.
I’m really happy I can now get my fiber in a chocolatey form. I’m so happy that I feel compelled to write another short poem:
Fiber is great.
It helps you lose weight.
It aids when you defecate.
Item: Citrucel Chocolate FiberShake Starter Kit
Purchase Price: $3.97
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Tastes sort of like Ovaltine. No sugar added. Good way to get your fiber. Comes with shaker cup.
Cons: Powder tends to clump up when milk is added. If not enough liquid is used, it may cause choking. Letting it sit will cause it to be sludge-like.