Limited Edition Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit Gum

Written by | February 28, 2006

Topics: Gum, Personal

It’s hard to choose which Limited Edition Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit Gum flavor I like best, because the blue and pink flavors are very similar.

They both have juicy AND fruity flavors; both are limited edition; neither comes in the color they’re named after; both have short-lasting flavor; and both have two of the most unoriginal chewing gum flavor names EVER.

Since I can’t decide which one I prefer, I think the best way to figure it out is to have an ol’ fashioned Color-off, which is a competition that involves naming things off of the top of my head that come in either color OR has the color in its name. Then I rate each item as either something positive or negative.

I have to come up with ten items for each color, count the positives, and then the one with the most positives will be the winner.

Ready? Here we go!

Pink prime rib…Positive (Unless you like your meat well done, then if that’s the case, go eat something else).

Blue police lights…Positive (Unless you’re wanted for something).

Pink poodles…Negative.

The blue sky…Positive (Unless you’re falling through it without a parachute).

The diet soft drink Tab…Negative.

The Blue Lagoon…Positive (Unless you’re a guy and masturbated to the love scenes, which is wrong because Brooke Shields was only 14 years old at the time).

An orangutang in a pink lace ballerina skirt…Positive (Unless it’s throwing its own poop at you).

Blue balls…Negative.

Pink eye…Negative.

Blue denim jeans…Positive (Unless you’re wearing it with a blue denim jacket, blue denim cap, blue denim long-sleeve shirt, and blue denim shoes).

Pink Floyd…Positive (Unless you think Pink Floyd is the name of an alcoholic drink, because you’re too young to know what Pink Floyd is).

Weezer’s Blue Album…Positive (Unless you don’t like Jonas).

Weezer’s Pinkerton Album…Positive (Unless you hate critically acclaimed albums that didn’t have a lot of record sales).

The Blue Pill from the Matrix…Negative (Unless you like living in ignorance, unaware of reality, and enjoy having a bunch of tubes sticking out of your body in a robotic human growing farm).

Pink Energizer Bunny…Positive (Unless you have a headache).

Blue Man Group…Negative (Unless you’re also into Smurfs).

The Pink Power Ranger…Positive (Unless you prefer the Yellow Power Ranger).

The TV show Blue Thunder…Positive (Unless you didn’t see any of the episodes during its very short 11 episode run).

Pigs, either alive or in raw bacon form…Positive (Unless you hate mud, the movie Babe, or have heart disease).

Blue Viagra pills…Positive (Unless your erection has lasted longer than five hours).

Done.

Hmm…Seven pink positives and seven blue positives?

Damn! That didn’t solve anything.

Anyway, the real winner is Wrigley’s for coming up with a way, albeit an overused way by Hershey’s, to sell gum. Also, the real losers are those of us who bought these packs of Limited Edition Juicy Fruit gum.

The flavors aren’t very special, they don’t last very long, and they have totally unoriginal names, much like boy bands.


Item: Limited Edition Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit Gum
Purchase Price: $1.09 each
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Pros: Fruity AND Juicy. Limited edition. Pigs. The TV show Blue Thunder. Weezer’s Pinkerton album. The Pink Power Ranger. The Energizer Bunny. Weezer’s Blue Album. Blue jeans. Pink Floyd. An orangutang in a pink lace ballerina skirt. The blue sky. Blue police lights. Pink prime rib. The Blue Lagoon. Viagra.
Cons: Not a low calorie food. Short-lasting flavor. Neither come in the colors they’re named after. Most unoriginal flavor names EVER, would’ve been better if they were named Blew Blew Blue Boo Boo and Tinkle Tinkle Pinkle Pinkle. Blue Man Group. The Blue Pill. Pink eye. Blue balls. Tab. Pink poodles.






20 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Lizzy says:

    You’re cute. I love you. I love Weezer too.

  2. Chuck says:

    I kind of enjoy the Blue Man Group, myself. Saw their show in Vegas when I lived there. I don’t chew gum that often (other than Altoids Cinnamon) so I probably won’t be tempted to try these, limited edition or no. I do think the “limited edition” thing was one of the most brilliant ways to increase candy/gum sales that Hershey has come up with in recent years, though. (Must buy it now, because it’s a LIMITED EDITION!)

  3. Andy says:

    The pink power ranger was a total slut..

    …but erm.. anyway, juicy fruit ain’t that great in terms of gum anyway. Although, I can’t remember the last time I actually bought gum, so.. oh well.

  4. TG says:

    buddy, you are kicking ass and taking names these days. your prolificness is just, well, it’s prolific. your wit is the wittiest. and you are nailing these newsy limited-edition deals TO THE WALL. one feels silly bowing to you every day but one has no choice. you rule!

  5. Ultimate Best Vamp Ever says:

    Juicy Fruit gum sucks in general though right?! I seem to think so. I mean, with all the gum choices out there, like Orbit Citrus Mint, or Altoid Sour Apple Gum, or Bubble Tape (for the fun factor), why would anyone buy these Juicy Fruit limited edition packs? Hehe.. I know I know, u did, but you did for the purpose of fore-warning us all not to get it! Which im sure now we wont! Thanks Marvo!

    And whats wrong w/ the Blue Man Group!? They’re cool!!

  6. cybele says:

    Dang! I love this review! (But the Smurfs should have been a pro for the blue side.)

  7. Muneer says:

    There is nothing wrong with jacking off to the Blue lagoon. It is a beautiful thing. And now the FBI wants me for kiddie pr0n references. Hope it is LA CTU that wants me. And then jack bauer would come after me. And then when I am about to give all of the information to him, President Logan comes in and doesn’t let Jack torture me. Or Lynn McGill has Jack arrested.

    OK, so I have been watching too much 24. I need to get myself psyched.

    I think I just had a Bauerasm.

  8. nat says:

    Is this your limited edition review? I’d better hurry to read it again before it disappears from my screen forever!

    and I love muneer’s Bauerasm. tee hee.

  9. Gia on Guam says:

    I was darn certain you would mention that other Pink thing…the warm, soft, wet one. :) Truely a positive….with tabasco (kidding).

  10. dude, you’re hilarious!

    btw, silly, it’s easy to figure out the flavors…

    Blue tastes like little boys and pink tastes like little girls! DUH!

  11. Karen says:

    “Pink Panther” vs. “Blue’s Clues”
    Guess which one I would choose?
    I’m not sure ’cause no TV – i lose…
    Don’t ask me, I’m one of the Jews.
    (And furthermore, I work in the news!)

    (i’m tryin’ to be a poet, don’t you know it?)

    I used to buy Wrigley’s items intentionally as a kid growing up in Chicagoland in order to “help” the Chicago Cubs make money, as they were then owned by the William Wrigley Company. I was never a fan of their chewables; later I could stand Big Red; now I actually enjoy their Cinnamon EXTRA gum…

    What I always have thought is so ironic is that this gum calls itself “Fruit” when nothing could be further from the truth! “Juicy” is pushing it, too…

    Thanks for a fun review, Marvo!
    :)

  12. Nicki says:

    You never did tell us what they tasted like…You just said fruity and juicy which i doubt very much as juicy fruit is a product of Satan. The flavor of a stick of Juicy Fruit last about as long as Star Jones’ husbands’ erection when he see her naked. Even the gross Bubbleiscious gum lasts longer then Juicy Fruit.

  13. marvo says:

    Lizzy – I’m actually cute on the inside, but on the outside, not so much.

    Chuck – They’re a negative in my book, because they give me nightmares. I also saw their show in Vegas and I had paper towels flying over my head. I had nightmares about that for days. Blue is my favorite color, but because of them, I sometimes wonder if it’s time for a change.

    Andy – Back in the day it was great gum, because all we seemed to have was Juicy Fruit, Big Red, and Doublemint.

    TG – You’re nailing these limited edition up the wazoo, as well. I predict limited edition beef jerky by the end of this year. Believe it!

    Ultimate Best Vamp Ever – Ever since seeing the Blue Man Group in commercials I have had nightmare about them drumming my head with rubber mallets. I also had similar nightmares after watching a Gallagher special on HBO.

    cybele – Smurfette…Definitely. Papa Smurf…Definitely. Hefty Smurf…Definitely. Grouchy Smurf…Definitely. Brainy Smurf…Definitely. Pickpocket Smurf…Not so much. Smelly Smurf…Also, not so much. Pantsless Smurf…Even more not so much.

  14. marvo says:

    Muneer – I guess a Bauerasm is better than a Blue Lagasm. Damn, that didn’t work!

    nat – No limited edition for me. If I have crappy stuff to put out, I’ll put out crappy stuff. Even if it sucks hard.

    Gia on Guam – Other pink thing? You mean eating cotton candy in the rain?

    Webmiztris – I am not a Catholic priest or Michael Jackson, so I don’t know what little boys taste like. I also don’t know what little girls taste like, but I’m going to assume sugar and spice.

    Karen – Have you been listening to too much Kanye West recently? Also, isn’t ironic that Big Red is not big or red.

    Nicki – The blue flavor tasted somewhat like blueberry, but the pink tasted like maybe strawberry shortcake. When I say strawberry shortcake, I don’t mean the dessert, I mean the cuddly doll.

  15. Jayelle says:

    Last time I heard anyone look so hard for pink positives and blue negatives, it was my homegirl taking a pregnancy test…

  16. marvo says:

    Jayelle – HA! That was frickin’ funny! :-D …Unless your friend got a pink positive, but wanted a blue negative. :-(

  17. Lord Jezo says:

    Blue Man Group = awesome.

    You should see them if you ever get off that rock you live on.

  18. marvo says:

    Lord Jezo – I did see them. Got covered in paper towels. One of them came up to my face. Entertaining, but scary. The color blue haunts my dreams.

  19. GUIT says:

    this looks good
    Thanks

  20. marvo says:

    GUIT – Actually they don’t look good. They’re kind of boring. Plain old white pieces of gum. It’s like watching sitcoms on CBS.