March Prize Drawing!!!

Saint Patrick’s Day is coming up and it’s a great day to get drunk, get pinched, and get caught urinating in public.

However, no one gives gifts for Saint Patrick’s Day. So this month two lucky readers will each receive a Saint Patrick’s Day gift from The Impulsive Buy.

These two lucky readers will each win A BOX of the Extra Cool Watermelon Gum, which I reviewed the other week. It’s enough gum to last for weeks, unless you have a strong oral fixation and you also like to share, then it will only last you a couple of days.

Just like last month, I’ll be having two separate drawings. However, this month, one drawing is for men only and the other drawing is only for the ladies in the hizzouse. So one Barney will win a box and one Betty will win a box.

However, if you happen to be a hermaphrodite, I will enter you in both drawings. But if you are a hermaphrodite, and you win, you MUST show proof in the form of a doctor’s note.

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with THREE THINGS.

1. The words “Hey! Nice watermelons!”
2. Whether you’re a male, female, or a hermaphrodite.
3. Whatever else you would like to say.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, I’ll take care of it.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Sunday, March 19, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States, US Military APOs, Canada, and Guam. (To the rest of the planet, I’m sorry.)

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about “lovely russian bittches in action.” (Yes, that’s how the spammers spelled it.) The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about seminars that will improve your managerial skills. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or Brokeback Mountain not winning Best Picture.

98 thoughts to “March Prize Drawing!!!”

  1. So, I was walking down the street and some guy is whispering to his friend. I can see them out of the corner of my eye, and I know they are talking about me. So I turn around and and call out to them, “Hey! I hear you over there! What did he just say to you?!” And, startled, one of the guys says, “He.. uh.. He just said that girl has nice watermelons!”

    I said, “Oh. I know. I just got them from that fruit stand over there.”

    xoxo
    [See how I fit everything in? Wonderful.]

  2. Hey! Nice watermelons! I’m ALL woman!!! I need gum to keep me awake at my soul-sucking, mind-numbing job…

  3. hey, nice watermelons!

    i’m a girly-girl

    i’d really rather somebody else win because i only chew orbitz gum.
    also, you mentioned nobody giving gifts for st. patty’s day. actually, in my irish family, we do give each other little gifts to celebrate. and http://www.redenvelope.com (the best gift-giving site ever in my opinion) has a whole section of st. patrick’s day gifts. you should check it out!

    i am not paid to say nice things about redenvelope.com, i just really love them. i wish one day soon they will start shipping to APOs!

  4. 1. Hey! Nice Watermelons!

    2. Female – some might even say lady

    3. May you arrive in Heaven and hour before the Devil knows you are dead! -Old Irish Toast

  5. “Hey! Fantabulous watermelons! Are they real or artificial? Can I feel ’em?”

    I AM THE “finder of all misplaced things around the house that noone else can remember where they put ‘it’ because it is never put back in it’s rightful place where they got it from originally so now it’s frigging LOST *sigh*”, ….so I MUST be a female. I think the uterus was originally meant as a homing device……

    Gimme sum gum, dammit.

  6. “Hey! Crack-head!….I saw you steal that nice watermelon…SECURITY!!”

    I like shoes…..I AM female!

    Don’t give this awesome prize to any toothless tweaked-out meth head…they’d probably just sell it anyways!

  7. 1) Hey! Nice watermelons
    2) Female
    3) Likes- People who find me attractive
    Dislikes- People I attract

  8. Since I’m a guy when I saw the hot hotel clerk all i could think was “Hey! Nice watermelons!

  9. “Hey! Nice watermelons!”

    I’m a guy – and this is a cool, funny site… just stumbled across tonight.

    Thanks!
    Jeff

  10. Hey! Nice watermelons!

    I hope I’m not saying that towards any of my fellow males, because they’d need some serious bro-idg.

  11. Thanks to all who participated in this month’s drawing.

    Winners will be announced later this week.

Comments are closed.