REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Drink ‘n Crunch

Recently, I picked up the Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes…

HEY MR. TAXI DRIVER! YOU LEARNED ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE, SO WHY CAN’T YOU LEARN HOW TO DRIVE!?!

…Drink ‘n Crunch.

Since breakfast is a meal a lot of people skip, Kellogg’s is trying to get more people to eat breakfast by making it convenient to eat on our commute to work. So I’m just driving around with a Drink ‘n Crunch to see if if really is convenient. Fortunately, the Drink ‘n Crunch has an angled outer lip, which will help me see the road and it will fit into my…

HEY MR. FAST AND FURIOUS! THANKS FOR NOT USING YOUR BLINKER AND CUTTING ME OFF. BY THE WAY, YOUR MUFFLER MAKES YOUR CAR SOUND LIKE IT’S FARTING!

…car’s cup holders.

To prevent the cereal from getting soggy in the milk, each Drink ‘n Crunch consists of an inner cup, that holds the smaller than usual cereal and an outer cup, which holds the milk. Unfortunately, you must provide the milk. To pour in the milk, I had to separate the inner cup from the outer cup and pour the milk into the outer cup. There was a convenient level on the side of the outer cup that let me know how much milk…

OOOOH MR. SPINNING HUBCAPS AND THUMPING CAR STEREO SYSTEM! YOU COULD SPEND THE 30 DOLLARS ON SPINNING HUBCAPS, BUT COULDN’T SPEND SOME MONEY ON DRIVING LESSONS AND EARPLUGS FOR YOUR INFANT IN THE BACK SEAT!?!

…to pour in.

After putting the inner cup back into the milk-filled outer cup, sort of like those Russian dolls, all that needed to be done was to pull back the foil lid and enjoy. The milk is dispensed through a small rectangular hole, which allows the milk to be consumed in small doses. I guess I now can fully appreciate…

HEY MS. TOO MANY STUFFED ANIMALS IN THE BACK! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE SO MANY STUFFED ANIMALS IN THE BACK, YOU COULD SEE ME WHILE YOU WERE TRYING TO GET INTO MY LANE!

…what it’s like to be breast-fed.

Despite following the instructions on the packaging to shake the Drink ‘n Crunch gently to loosen the cereal, it had a hard time coming out. It was as frustrating as drunk dry heaving, except with the Drink ‘n Crunch I’m behind the wheel of a two ton automobile, while with drunk dry heaving, I’m behind a bunch of bushes. It’s definitely not good to be…

HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING, MR. DVD PLAYER IN THE DASHBOARD! UNLESS YOU’RE WATCHING THE ROAD IN FRONT OF YOU VIA YOUR DASHBOARD SCREEN, I’D SUGGEST YOU KEEP BOTH EYES ON THE ROAD, JACKASS!

…frustrated behind the wheel.

Besides the uncooperative cereal, another thing that made the Drink ‘n Crunch not so convenient was the angled lip, which was designed to make it easier to see the road. Unfortunately, the only way I could see the road, while trying to eat from the Drink ‘n Crunch was to turn my head sideways, while keeping my eyes on the road. Definitely…

HEY MS. PUTTING ON MAKEUP WHILE DRIVING! STOP DRIFTING INTO MY LANE! YOU KNOW IT TAKES TWO HANDS TO DRIVE, NOT TWO KNEES!

…not safe.

As for the cereal itself, it was typical Frosted Flakes, when I could get it into my mouth. I ran out of milk before I ran out of cereal, which is the opposite of what happens when I eat milk and cereal in a bowl. However, despite the taste, the Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Drink ‘n Crunch just wasn’t as convenient as it should’ve been.

Also, there are a lot of shitty drivers on the road.

Item: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Drink ‘n Crunch
Price: $1.89
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Somewhat smart concept. Convenient level on the side to let you know how much milk to pour in.
Cons: Pricey, since it’s slightly cheaper than a whole box of cereal. Milk not included. Despite shaking it to loosen cereal, it still had a hard time coming out. Lip of container obstructed my view while consuming. Shitty drivers.

36 thoughts on “REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Drink ‘n Crunch

  1. Mia – Blech. Bubble gum ice cream!?! Oh wait, that sounds intriguing.

    Sasha_Kitty – Yes, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It’s helps start your day on the right foot, giving you the energy you need to survive the rest of the day. I shall now get off of my soapbox.

    Mir – Oh, you like your orange juice “country-style.” Aw yeah! Pineapples? No, we don’t throw pineapples at each other, because they might damage our grass shacks. ;-)

    rose – Yup, cereal is made to be eaten while sitting down and doing the hard puzzles on the back of the cereal box. I hate mazes.

    Pel – I can’t wait until the “I, Robot” future, when the cars will do all of the driving. I was going to say “Minority Report” future, but I didn’t want to give Tommy Cruise props. Oh wait, I guess I just did. Dammit!

    Andy – The thing about cab drivers is that they will get somewhere faster than most people can.

    Webmiztris – Actually, there is a drink called Liquid Cereal, which is a drink that tastes like cereal.

  2. Rhawb – I say put some Cocoa Pebbles in a 20-ounce soda bottle, a little bit of milk, and voila, breakfast in a bottle.

    TG – Hey, do you know what they call Brazil nuts in Brazil? Nuts. I totally stole that joke from somewhere, but I don’t know where. :-(

    Derrick – Oh yeah, The Boondocks, one of my favorite shows. Anyway, I hate traffic, unless I have food, water, and hours of music I can sing badly with.

    Damasta – Cocoa Krispies in a 20-ounce bottle with milk. I’m telling you, Kellogg’s is going to do that next.

    Toni – Wow, to live on the mainland and have triple digit numbers for freeways. All we have here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is the H-1, H-2, and H-3. Oh, I wish we had a 405 or a 210.

    Grins – Automatic shower cleaner? I’ll look into it, but I can’t promise anything. Although, it does sound like the perfect tool for a lazy ass like myself.

    Gia on Guam – Or something that will get smashed into your face if the air bags are deployed.

  3. Although if it were up to me, I’d have rammed straight into that lady-with-lotsa-stuffed-animals, just to spite her.

    Then again, I don’t think I can make a clean getaway. :p

  4. I can’t imagine that this product will…FER CRYIN’ OUT LOUD, YOUR BLINKER’S BEEN ON FOR TWO MILES AND THEN YOU FINALLY TURN IT OFF AND *NOW* YOU CHANGE LANES, CUTTING ME OFF?!?…be very long-lived. Interesting idea executed poorly.

  5. Karen – I will try Liquid Cereal someday. Not tomorrow, but someday.

    peachy – If you had stuffed animals you could throw them at her. She could add it to her collection.

    Mellie Helen – Don’t forget those folks who signal left, but go right.

  6. I guess the cost of focus group testing costs far more than manufacturing the excessive non-degradable packaging (two cups?!), distribution and eventually throwing away a million unsold items into a landfill (or ending up in the dollar store). Any room full of testers would have said this idea is lame’o.

  7. Mellie Helen – Don’t forget those folks who signal left, but go right.”

    Hahaha, I do that to the jackasses that I see floating around lanes without signals – as they come up on the left, I’ll signal right and then jump in their way. I figure they don’t mind since they don’t seem to think that turn singals are very important anyway.

    I also hate the people who constantly tap their brakes so you never know when they’re actually stopping. I used to flash my high beams every time they’d hit their brakes, but that almost got me beat up one time, so I’ve stopped that.

    Remember – when you drive an SUV without your turn signal, you’re the only one on the whole damn planet. So keep it up. XD

  8. “as frustrating as drunk dry heaving” Oh THERE’s something to think about at breakfast time! LOL!

    Great review.

    Why in the hell would you want to drink cereal, though? Not a brilliant concept, Kellogg’s!

  9. MJ – They should’ve made the cups out of Frosted Flakes. Mmm…Cuppy.

    Rhawb – I notice that old people and tourists mostly do the left signaling, but turn right.

    Gia on Guam – I think I would prefer a public announcement speaker system in my car. I think it’s a lot more fun to yell at stupid drivers.

    nat – Well if I partied hard the night before, drunk dry heaving is definitely something I will be forced to think about at breakfast time. Hopefully, I won’t also have to think about the strange woman in my bed who keeps scratching her crotch.

    Peachy – Better yet, follow her home, break into her car, and steal all of her stuffed animals. Then leave pictures of her stuffed animals wrapped in duct tape and make her promise to stop putting stuffed animals in the back of her car. If she doesn’t send her the arm of one of the stuffed animals. No wait…the head of one.

  10. I keep thinking that’s what I should get too like the cops have but there is a good chance that someone whom I’ve yelled at will rip it off if they see my ride in a car park.

  11. Gia on Guam – Or you can just get a bullhorn. You can take it with you, so no one will rip it off, and if they try, you can beat him/her down with the bullhorn.

  12. dvd player in the dashboard? Oh, that was me. sorry for cutting your slow-ass off on the freeway.

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