Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough The Cone

Written by | June 25, 2006

Topics: Food, Ice Cream, Snacks

Oh, I’m so lonely.

Will you keep me company, Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough The Cone?

You will?

Oh thank you, my dear and delicious friend! You’re a wonderful comfort food.

Mmm, your waffle cone filled with vanilla ice cream, cookie dough swirls, and fudge chips not only fills the void in my soul with friendship, kindness, and sunshine, like my Care Bears would, but also fills it with 12 grams of saturated fat.

My heart may not like your extremely high amounts of saturated fat, but I adore you for it. That’s what’s great about our relationship, it’s unconditional.

I maybe homely, clumsy, dorky, geeky, and suck my thumb when I sleep, and you maybe smaller than a Drumstick, but it doesn’t matter. We like each other for who and what we are.

Without you, Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough The Cone, I would probably sit on the couch, eat a can of Pringles, watch Nickelodeon or Home and Garden Television, let my beard grow out, scratch myself, accumulate stray cats, and form a body mold on my couch.

But you can make a hot summer day feel cooler and despite you being filled with cold vanilla ice cream, you can warm my heart.

Although, that could also be the saturated fat.

If only I could live in the freezer with you and we can spend our time throwing frozen broccoli at each other or making ice cream castles with the half gallon of vanilla ice cream I used to eat as comfort food.

Unfortunately, due to size constraints, the limited amount of oxygen in the freezer, and my lack of warm clothing because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I can’t.

Instead, to remind myself of our friendship, I keep your box outside with me because the picture on the box looks almost exactly like you do in real life, which is a rare thing with food products.

Do you know what the best part about you is?

Your waffle cone is surprisingly really crunchy and tasty, unlike other frozen cone treats I’ve had. Despite the harsh conditions and moisture your waffle cone has had to face, it stays strong, much like our friendship. Also, you don’t drip all over me like some of the other coned ice cream treats that I’ve been burned by, thanks to the chocolate coating inside of your waffle cone.

Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough The Cone, you’re so delicious that you’re like heaven in a cone and I think I would do something crazy without you, like read Dianetics or watch Larry the Cable Guy.

W-w-wait. W-w-where did you go, Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough The Cone?

I ATE HIM!!! NOOOO!!!

Man, he was good. Git-R-Done.

NOOOO!!!

Oh, I’m so lonely.

Oh wait, there’s two more in the box.

Oh, there you are, my dear and delicious friend!

(Editor’s Note: Go read TG’s take on The Cone here at NYCE.)


Item: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough The Cone
Price: $4.99
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 5
Pros: Damn good. It looks almost exactly like it does on the box. Awesome comfort food. Surprisingly really crunchy waffle cone. No cone dripping. Three cones per box. A dear friend. Care Bears filling my soul with friendship, kindness, and sunshine.
Cons: A little expensive, but what do you expect, it’s Ben & Jerry’s. Smaller than a Drumstick. One cone has 12g of saturated fat. Being lonely.






29 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. marvo says:

    DaDead – Um, when you grow breasts, let me know. ;-)

    Bryan – I guess Ben & Jerry’s isn’t cheap eats. As for the Care Bears, I don’t want to ask why you have some…But do you have Tenderheart Bear?

    Mandy – I believe the hotter the temperature is, the more stock of The Cone a state has. I’m probably wrong about that though.

    Peachy – On the box it says zero trans fat. Yay! Remember boys and girls, say no to trans fats.

    klew – Although, I don’t think I have the stamina to make it up a second flight of stairs.

    Webmiztris – If you like nuts, Drumsticks are probably the way to go. But I would not trade your Drumsticks for one of these.

    Melis – Oh, it can be denied, if I lacked the senses of taste, smell, and sight.

    Karen – Have you ever had Tofutti? I used to eat soft serve Tofutti when I was growing up. It was my parents attempt to get me out of my husky phase. Actually, running track got me out of my husky phase.

    Jess – You should tell Ben & Jerry to get off of their asses and bring some of these to St. Louis. While you’re at it, tell them they should name a flavor after you, because you had to wait so frickin’ long for these.

  2. Ultimate Best Vamp Ever says:

    “If only I could live in the freezer with you and we can spend our time throwing frozen broccoli at each other “…..

    Haha! You crack me up Marvo!

  3. Chana says:

    I’m on the way to the store right after I clean out my freezer of anything that resembles healthy.

  4. marvo says:

    Ultimate Best Vamp Ever – Just to let you know, frozen broccoli is much safer than frozen chicken.

    Chana – Hey, gotta keep the healthy stuff to balance everything. Keep the frozen broccoli, because they are healthy and fun to throw at people.

  5. Jess says:

    I’m sure if I was willing to make the half hour drive to the Loop, I could find them. We have a Ben & Jerry’s store down there, but — Hey! I’m off today! And I just got paid. Field trip to B&J!!

  6. Jess says:

    I just might have to take a little field trip to Ben & Jerry’s the store.

  7. Gia on Guam says:

    I can only think of one gocery that carries Ben & Jerry’s ice creams. I never really got into them though. I don’t even like the mix ins at Cold Stone Creamery…I guess I’m a purist. Actually I’m more of a sorbet person…Cold Stone’s watermelon sorbet is the bomb diggity.

  8. AmberLB says:

    I was at WalMart last night, and a box of these is $2.49 here. I tried to talk my husband into buying it, but somehow, he wasn’t swayed by my second-hand relay of the Marvo review. What’s the matter with him? He also rolled his eyes when I ordered an Asian Chicken Salad today at McD’s, which I have fallen in love with, and only tried because of the strength of the Marvo review.

  9. marvo says:

    Jess – You have a Ben & Jerry’s store? All we have is frickin’ Haagen Daaz and Stone Cold Creamery.

    Gia on Guam – Mmm…Lychee sorbet.

    AmberLB – You know, I hear Kevin Federline’s album is EXCELLENT. You should totally buy it. ;-)