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Happy Second Anniversary!!! (Or Happy Blogiversary!!!)
By Marvo | August 9, 2006
(Editor’s Note: I thought with it being The Impulsive Buy’s second anniversary today, I would take the time to let you know more about The Impulsive Buy via an interview with someone who knows me quite well. As a matter of fact, I’ve slept with this person so many times that this person knows the ins and outs about me, The Impulsive Buy, and a couple of sexual position that I cannot physically explain without dislocating something. The person I’m talking about is…myself.)
Marvo: First off, let me congratulate you on reaching the two year milestone at The Impulsive Buy.
Marvo: Thanks, it’s been an awesome two years.
Marvo: So let’s start at the beginning.
Marvo: Let’s.
Marvo: How did The Impulsive Buy start?
Marvo: On a dark and stormy night, I was celebrating the fact that I was unemployed and my girlfriend broke up with me by eating a half gallon of ice cream and Salt & Pepper Pringles, while reading The Onion online. I was reading The Onion because I believe that humor is the bandage for emotional wounds, I was eating ice cream because I believe it is the aloe vera for emotional burns, and I was eating the Salt & Pepper Pringles because they were new. While I was eating the Salt & Pepper Pringles, all I could think about was how crappy they were, but at the same time I was trying to prevent myself from laughing while reading some story at The Onion. That’s when I had my “you’ve got your chocolate in my peanut butter and you’ve got your peanut butter in my chocolate” epiphany and decided to start up The Impulsive Buy.
Marvo: Where did the name “Marvo” come from?
Marvo: Well, as you probably know, my first name is Marvin and I shortened it to Marvo, thinking no one would read my blog. But people began reading and the name just stuck. Thank goodness I didn’t use my original Yahoo! account name, sexxxycollegeboy1993.
Marvo: Did you know that “Marvin” means “great lover of the ocean?”
Marvo: Yes, I did, but I’m not a big fan of the ocean. Also, I like to think of myself as a great lover…period.
Marvo: I believe all your ex-girlfriends would say differently.
Marvo: You’re probably right.
Marvo: You’ve done 314 reviews so far, which one is your favorite?
Marvo: I don’t like to play favorites. I consider every single review to be like one of my illegitimate children from dozens of mommas. I sort of feel like Kevin Federline…Times twenty. I love every review equally, except the Rice Krispies Treats Kazaam Crunch review, which I wish I could drop off at an orphanage’s doorstep.
Marvo: So how are you going to celebrate the second year anniversary of The Impulsive Buy?
Marvo: I’ll probably be doing the same thing I did when it was born, eat a half gallon of ice cream, eat a can of Pringles, and cry my single lonely ass to sleep. Oh, also I’m going to have a frickin’ prize drawing. Booyah! Oh, wait. I mean, Yahtzee!
Marvo: What do you have as prizes for the Second Anniversary Prize Drawing? A date with you perhaps?
Marvo: A date with me would probably be the worst prize ever, because I would probably just take the winner to McDonald’s and only allow them to order stuff off of the Dollar Menu. Instead, three lucky Impulsive Buy readers will each receive a mystery box containing various products the Impulsive Buy has reviewed over the past two years. The contents of each box will vary.
Marvo: What do readers have to do to enter? Is there nudity involved?
Marvo: Thank goodness, no nudity…This time. To enter the Impulsive Buy’s Second Anniversary Prize Drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with whatever you want to say. Please make sure you fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping.
Marvo: Are you going to be a dick and not allow international entries?
Marvo: The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Wednesday, August 9, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Wednesday, August 16, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is open to EVERYONE.
Marvo: So how are you going to determine the winners?
I haven’t decided that yet. Although I could just do what I did last year.
Marvo: Hey aren’t you forgetting the fine print?
Marvo: Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about sexy, single males waiting for you. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you letters that say “Do Not Discard” on the front of the envelope, which you eventually discard because it’s just a damn credit card application. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or Britney’s second child becoming the Antichrist.
Marvo: Well thanks for taking the time for this interview.
Marvo: Thanks for having me. Now if you’ll excuse me there’s a half gallon of ice cream and a can of Pringles with my name on them.
Topics: Prize Drawing |
Related Reviews:
Prize Drawing Winners Announced!!!
The State of the Impulsive Buy
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Happy First Anniversary!!! (Or Happy Blogiversary!!!)
Happy Holidays from TIB!
August 9th, 2006 at 1:29 am
No nudity?
And I was hoping we’d finally get an artistic Hawaiian picture of you in the buff.
August 9th, 2006 at 1:42 am
I really wanted to try to pick my favorite review, but I figured I’d end up listing about 5406 of them. Wait, there’s not that many. But you get the point.
August 9th, 2006 at 1:56 am
> no nudity?? despite being a bit small, you do have the cake
Happy 2cd blogiversary!
August 9th, 2006 at 2:03 am
Congrats man. I sure hope I win that Taco Bell Spicy Chicken thing. Great to get that sent in the mail.
August 9th, 2006 at 2:12 am
Congrats on 2 years! May you always find new stuff to buy
August 9th, 2006 at 2:18 am
Nice job on all the reviews and congrats on reaching two years.
August 9th, 2006 at 2:21 am
Smargbly an-ven-ersary, goudy stout
August 9th, 2006 at 2:21 am
i heart you marvo.
i think you should include more healthy things to review….for the safety of your colon.
August 9th, 2006 at 2:43 am
Marvo, you are a true hero in the dark times facing our nation. How bravely you have navigated the treacherous perils of junk food, hygiene products, and the Special K diet. Keep fighting, soldier. If you don’t, the Pop Tarts win.
August 9th, 2006 at 2:46 am
Woo - I want to win a date with Marvo!
August 9th, 2006 at 2:56 am
pick me! pick me!
August 9th, 2006 at 3:08 am
Congrats on your second anniversary, Marvo! May you have many more.
BTW, the pringles “fiery hot” flavor also sucks. And it damn sure isn’t fiery hot.
August 9th, 2006 at 3:12 am
Congratulations on maintaining a relationship of two whole years! With a blog… but you can imagine that the blog is a woman. A woman comprised solely of junk food. So basically just your average mid-western American woman. Hooray!!
August 9th, 2006 at 3:14 am
You Rock Marvo. Congrats on the two years!
August 9th, 2006 at 3:19 am
As usual, I have nothing to say. Except thanks, or congrats or something.
August 9th, 2006 at 3:26 am
Happy Blogiversary!
August 9th, 2006 at 3:31 am
Whoo-hoo, happy anniversary! I want a gift box, I want a gift box!
August 9th, 2006 at 3:49 am
Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of Jim Bean and she lies to you. That’s when you learn the truth. Dang, I love that song. I also love the Impulsive Buy, and I really did forget how hairy your arms are. Amazing.
August 9th, 2006 at 3:52 am
does this count as a sexy, single male waiting for you review? if so i expect one in the mistery box
August 9th, 2006 at 3:58 am
Happy anniversary, you naughty man!
August 9th, 2006 at 4:04 am
where is my comment? Leave a Reply don’t you like me anymore?
it was about this review being of the sexy, single male waiting for me, and me asking for it to be included on the mistery box
August 9th, 2006 at 4:05 am
Congrats on gettin OLLLLDDDD.
I haven’t had a pringle in ages. …But I guess I’m not missing out on anything.
August 9th, 2006 at 4:09 am
Yay, congratulations on making it this far without hurting yourself or others in the process–some of these products you’ve taken could do some damage. Still thinking about them Rice Crispie Fairies coming at you with a hammer and some rubber sheets.
I do hope in the coming year you do a review of Restoration Hardware’s dryer sheets. I almost bought one the other day, but I stopped, thinking “What would Marvo think? Hmmm…better wait.”
August 9th, 2006 at 4:17 am
Happy Blogiversary! Keep buying and trying!!
August 9th, 2006 at 4:29 am
Thank you for two years of selfless, unbiased consumerism. Consumer Reports may have stricter testing standards, but they simply can’t compete in the arena of sexual innuendo.
Oh, but I am TOTALLY blaming your blog for Brit’s second baby. It’s obviously your fault.
August 9th, 2006 at 4:29 am
Good job on the 2 years etc.
August 9th, 2006 at 4:31 am
Happy anniversary Marvo, keep it up!
August 9th, 2006 at 4:49 am
I really enjoy reading your blog, Marvo. Congrats on two years, and here’s to many more!
August 9th, 2006 at 5:09 am
Marvo is HOT just the the Impulsive Buy and Canadians
August 9th, 2006 at 5:10 am
I got nothing to say, just wanted to enter the drawing.
August 9th, 2006 at 5:15 am
Congrats on keeping this going for so long. As I have mentioned before, TIB has helped me decide what to try and what to avoid. In that simple way, you should be proud of what you’ve been doing. Thank you again.
August 9th, 2006 at 5:19 am
i love you marvo congrats on the 2 years keep it up i think my husband is jealous of you
August 9th, 2006 at 5:28 am
I’m not trying to influence you, or anything, but I’ve entered every freaking drawing you’ve had since the beginning of time and I’ve NEVER won, plus I just had a near-death experience you know (well, I was sick, anyway), AND my birthday is next week. Just sayin’.
Oh, also? You’re hott.
August 9th, 2006 at 5:32 am
Pick me! Pick me!
Happy 2nd;>
August 9th, 2006 at 8:35 am
Impulsive Buy is truly the two great tastes that go great together. I’m glad your ex was a bitch, The Onion is hilarious, and Salt-n-Peppa Pringles sucked! It’s a damned good thing nudity isn’t required, cuz if it was I’d do it for a chance at one of these here grab bags, and that wouldn’t be good for ANYONE involved.
August 9th, 2006 at 8:44 am
Any Grape Mentos in there?
August 9th, 2006 at 9:44 am
Just to clarify, although nudity isn’t required, it couldn’t hurt, am I right?
August 9th, 2006 at 10:24 am
congrats on the 2 years.
August 9th, 2006 at 10:41 am
Marvo,
Even though you said there is no nudity to enter, I just wanted to let you know that I am wearing nothing but socks right now
Anywho, congrats on 2 years. It has been a fun & entertaining ride so far!!
-DJ At Work
August 9th, 2006 at 10:43 am
owned
August 9th, 2006 at 11:06 am
Keep up the great work. And I am sure you will find love on yer little rock in the middle of the ocean some day, but untill the KEEP WRITING THE REVIEWS! I need something to keep me going at work durring the day.
August 9th, 2006 at 11:09 am
Hurrah for 2 years! I tried keeping a blog once and couldn’t stick with it for 2 weeks, so I’m proud and happy for your constancy!. Keep up the good work, letting those of us even further out in the Pacific know what we’re missing, and what to order in.
August 9th, 2006 at 11:47 am
Congratulations, Marvo. I’d say more, but since half of my mouth is frozen from going to the dentist, I sound like I got woot canawl. (Try saying Marvo when your mouth is frozen..)
August 9th, 2006 at 11:47 am
happy 2nd anniversary! Hope you, your ice cream, and your pringles have many more happy years ahead.
August 9th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
go marvo! i’d sing the Impulsive Buy a “happy birthday” song, but that’d be bad for all concerned, so just imaging i’m singing it.
August 9th, 2006 at 12:08 pm
Wow, congrats on two years! That’s a long, healthy relationship. My blog and I stayed together for about two days before we had to part ways. We were incompatible… and both really, really boring. Obviously you and the Impulsive Buy are quite compatible and also not boring, which is a winning combination. And, hey, if you want nudity, my husband’s a photographer - I could get some great nudes for you!
If you’re into that sort of thing. And not of me, moms of 4 year olds don’t tend to look so good nude. He would have to get someone else, so it’s actually a win-win situation, since I couldn’t get mad at him for taking nudes of someone else because it would be for YOU, not for him…. Anyway this is a long reply. I think I should win simply for having the most words in a blog reply ever!
August 9th, 2006 at 12:08 pm
2 years? damn. ive been reading for about 3 months. im behind. but thats still bad ass. gratzy
peace
August 9th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
No date? Well, a gift box will have to do. Happy second blogiversary!
August 9th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
good stuff lately — keep it up, and congrats
August 9th, 2006 at 12:16 pm
Thanks for all the fun on this site. Love it everyday when you update.
August 9th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
Congrats on reaching the terrible twos! You make an adorable toddler, even when you’re throwing tantrums and begging for candy.
August 9th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
Aw, Marvo, we couldn’t live without you at this point. You…you complete us. *weeps*
August 9th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Wow. So you’re 2–are you potty trained yet?
August 9th, 2006 at 12:47 pm
hi
August 9th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Ah dear Marvo, you sweet sweet tastykake, I remember the day I happened upon the Impulsive Buy. It was as if the heavens opened and I could hear the “ahhh” of angels in my ear. You seriously rock and I love this blog it is by far my favorite. So much so, I composed a lil ditty in your honor
“I don’t know what to eat
I don’t know what to wear
I’m sure that dear old Marvo
He has a thought to share
It may involve some beer
And testing or some sort
A mash up of all cereals
and Coke Blak by the quart
I don’t know where this is going
I thought I was being clever….
all I can say is Marvo
you are the bestest EVER……..”
ta dum dum!
Happy Blogiversary!
August 9th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
I am turning 30 this weekend. I think that deserves a prize. Congrats on the 2 years!
August 9th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Happy Anniversary!
August 9th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
whoo-hoo!
August 9th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Congratulations on two years - I hope to see you blogging for at least two more.
August 9th, 2006 at 1:50 pm
Congrats! I’m crossing my fingers for some salt&pepper Pringles.
August 9th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
Marvo, marry me!
August 9th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
awesome dude!
August 9th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
Happy Anniversary,
Happy Anniversary,
Happy Anniversary,
Haaaa-aaappy Aniversary!!!
For this to work, you must imagine Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble playing the piano and singing while being carried by members of the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos. I loved that episode. Congrats on 2 years, mate!
August 9th, 2006 at 2:50 pm
Woo hoo, I’m entered…
Too bad I probably won’t win…
oh well, love the reviews…
August 9th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
A half gallon of ice cream and a can of Pringles, huh? Sounds like Saturday night at my house. Without the hairy arms, of course.
August 9th, 2006 at 2:54 pm
Congrats on two years! Thanks for the entertainment, and the reviews!
August 9th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Yay for Blogiversaries.
Thanks for all your fantastic reviews.
August 9th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Congratulations on two years, Marvo. Are you running for president in 2008?
August 9th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
Look, if a slammin’ night for you involves ice cream and a can of Pringles, and your idea of a hot night out involves ordering off the dollar menu from McDonalds- well, we were probably meant to be together. Provided we agree that we don’t actually have to share the aforementioned ice cream and Pringles. When it comes to food, me no share, my friend!!!
Unfortunately, I’m already married. So a hot, tempetuous affair rolling around with Pringles stuck to our sweaty bodies is probably out. Unless of course, you don’t mind the company of my spouse. Who will probably try to beat you up. But hey- at least it’s physical contact right?
August 9th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
YAY! You’ve made my days brighter for the year since I’ve been reading you. A few more years of quasi-product-review-blogginess are on their way, right?
HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY!
August 9th, 2006 at 4:16 pm
Je vous souhaite un(e) blogiversaire joyeux(se). (I’m not sure if blogiversaries are masculine or feminine, would you mind checking between its legs…)
August 9th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
Thanks for eating new shitty food so we don’t have to!
August 9th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
Congrats on your 2nd Blogiversary. Hopefully you can have hundreds more.
August 9th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
wow, congrats on your bloggy b-day, marvo! this site is one of my favorites, hands down. you are one silly bitch and I love ya for it.
August 9th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Dude, I was totally looking forward to some hardcore nudity involving household items and random food stuffs from the kwik-e-stop but, alas, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
Happy Anniversary!!!
P.S.- put some new pics on ur myspace, buddy! What kind of asian are u with only 1 pic up on ur profile?
Suck.
August 9th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
lol. and the readers come out of the woodwork all for some mystery food box…
August 9th, 2006 at 5:24 pm
Congrats on a great site. Who knows what the future holds for Marvo?
August 9th, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Congratulations Marvo!
Thank you for reviewing the foods that I was too scared to eat myself!
Good luck in the future!
August 9th, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Keep up the good work, Marvo! I find myself looking forward to each installment of your unconventional reviews~
I hope i win a mystery box - my 4 kiddos will eat almost anything, except mens underwear….but then, its only a matter of time….
August 9th, 2006 at 6:26 pm
Happy Anniversary!
Will the mystry boxes contain the ‘actual’ food used in the reviews? Cuz ew, leftovers……….
Heres to another year c[_] of TIB!
August 9th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
grapples happens to be my favorite review.
BFF!
August 9th, 2006 at 6:51 pm
Happy Anniversary!!
You’ve saved me from eating many nasty things with clever packaging.
♥
August 9th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
What a pretty pink cake with sprinkles!! Congrats on 2 years! Your site is always entertaining and definitely my favorite.
August 9th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
congrats on 2 years
i’ve read every review
August 9th, 2006 at 7:57 pm
Happy Blogiversary Marvo!
I think that an artistic rendition of yourself done in the vein of Todd from The Wedding Crashers (ie. Sexual and violent) is most certainly in order. Your reviews are top-notch! I wish you many more!
Mona (aka Lurker Extraordinaire)
August 9th, 2006 at 8:04 pm
Well, there are so many all time favorite reviews I have but I’m too lazy to look them up. Though one that stands out is the Gillette Fusion Power ala Pimp My Ride Style; hillarious!
Ye be warned, post a pic and you’ve got yourself a stalker.
Congrats and Happy Blogiversary!!
August 9th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
Happy second anniversary.
August 9th, 2006 at 9:04 pm
Happy Anniversary!
I’d love to see an abstract masterpiece composed of a collage of TastyKake Butterscotch Krimpet grease stains. You could silkscreen the image onto an American Apparel blank and give Palmer Cash a run for his money. The Williamsburg boys (and the hipsterettes who sweat them) will be all over it, until a professional grad student decides to throw his hat (or shirt) into the cultural discourse and come out with an “answer” line of Ho Ho stain relief tees.
August 9th, 2006 at 11:03 pm
Wait! There are sexy, single males waiting for me? And YOU’RE not telling me about it? I think that is totally rude. Totally.
August 9th, 2006 at 11:21 pm
I have made at least one purchase using the information on this here interweb application. Because of that, I will be sending you my reciept upon not winning this contest if that is how things turn out. Or I will be emailing you my credit card statement if you don’t go on a second date with me. Or something. I’ve forgotten. Congrats on the time, one of my favorite places to travel to in my underwear.
August 9th, 2006 at 11:21 pm
marvo i love reading your reviews!!! happy 2nd aniversary!!
August 9th, 2006 at 11:59 pm
Marvo, Congratulations, your brain-child is growing up! Next thing you know, it will be knocking up other quasi-blogging sites and have little quasi-freakazoids of it’s own.
And to the Impulsive Buy, Happy Birthday! Though 2 may not seem that old in human years, in terms of quasi-review sites, blogging sites, and the Internet in general, you have out lived thousands. If one Human year is equal to 7 dog years, then I think 16 review years is equal to 1 human year. So in terms of review-years, that would make you 32.
As a present to you, I would like to donate this cool banner for you, which you can place where ever you would like to attract new readers [and possibly stalkers?(My favorite kinds of "ers")]. Although it is very simple, I find it to be so in an elegant way- it doesn’t overcrowd your brain.
http://tinyurl.com/jvz8h
Have a good birthday, and good luck on the next year of reviews!
August 10th, 2006 at 12:04 am
Hey, and aren’t you going to review that birthday cake?
August 10th, 2006 at 5:03 am
Marvo, I feel so honored to witness this milestone you have reached! I thought of you yesterday when I saw Mint Chocolate Chip Pop-Tarts at the store. Here’s to many more fast food mugshots!
August 10th, 2006 at 5:05 am
Congratulations on your two year anniversary, Marvo!!! :O)
August 10th, 2006 at 5:56 am
I think in honor of the birthday you should do another liquor review. Those are always fun (until the next morning)….
August 10th, 2006 at 6:16 am
Congrats Marvo!
I love reading your blog, it makes me laugh everytime there’s a new one! Great Job!
August 10th, 2006 at 6:43 am
Ure blog is liek super-amazing. Yay for processed food!
August 10th, 2006 at 6:49 am
Marvo!
Congrats on the anniversary. Impulsive buy rocks.
August 10th, 2006 at 6:58 am
I love a good prize drawing. Congratulations on TWO WHOLE YEARS MARVO!!!
August 10th, 2006 at 6:59 am
Happy Anniversary, Marvo!
August 10th, 2006 at 7:21 am
Happy two-year anniversary! The blogosphere is more complete with your presence.
August 10th, 2006 at 7:24 am
Happy 2nd!
August 10th, 2006 at 7:28 am
Prize drawing? I hope Marvo sends Ben & Jerry’s The Cone through regular mail!!!
Congrats on 2 years….
August 10th, 2006 at 7:51 am
Just recently discovered your site. You’re very funny. Congrats on two years!
August 10th, 2006 at 8:04 am
My own interview:
Rick: What do you plan to do with the goodies you receive from Impulsive Buy?
Rick: I expect I’ll rub it on my nipples and take pics. If any hair gel is included in the package, I will go immediately to the airport and try to get through security.
Rick: Oooh! Topical humor! I like that.
Rick: I swallowed a penny once.
August 10th, 2006 at 8:16 am
Oh you make me laugh. Prizes, please!!!
August 10th, 2006 at 8:51 am
My husband would be crushed to know that I secretly visit your site daily hoping that you will wax reminiscant about your previous self indulgent sex-capades and unabashed gluttony. I have visions of you chasing Little Debbie cakes with Heinekins, brushing the Pringle crumbs off your bed as you drift off to sleep on your flannel Hello Kitty sheets. You ARE my dirty little secret and now I need to be spanked.
August 10th, 2006 at 9:19 am
I believe more interviewees should interview themselves. That way, you get both sides of the story.
August 10th, 2006 at 9:35 am
i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
now what you hear is not a test–i’m rappin to the beat
and me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet
see i am wonder mike and i like to say hello
to the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow
but first i gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie
say up jump the boogie to the bang bang boogie
let’s rock, you dont stop
rock the riddle that will make your body rock
well so far youve heard my voice but i brought two friends along
and next on the mike is my man hank
come on, hank, sing that song
check it out, i’m the c-a-s-an-the-o-v-a
and the rest is f-l-y
ya see i go by the code of the doctor of the mix
and these reasons i’ll tell ya why
ya see i’m six foot one and i’m tons of fun
and i dress to a t
ya see i got more clothes than muhammad ali and i dress so viciously
i got bodyguards, i got two big cars
that definitely aint the wack
i got a lincoln continental and a sunroof cadillac
so after school, i take a dip in the pool
which really is on the wall
i got a color tv so i can see
the knicks play basketball
hear me talkin bout checkbooks, credit cards
more money than a sucker could ever spend
but i wouldnt give a sucker or a bum from the rucker
not a dime til i made it again
ya go hotel motel whatcha gonna do today (say what)
ya say im gonna get a fly girl gonna get some spankin
drive off in a def oj
everybody go, hotel motel holiday inn
say if your girl starts actin up, then you take her friend
master gee, am I mellow
its on you so what you gonna do
well it’s on n on n on on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
i said m-a-s, t-e-r, a g with a double e
i said i go by the unforgettable name
of the man they call the master gee
well, my name is known all over the world
by all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls
i’m goin down in history
as the baddest rapper there could ever be
now i’m feelin the highs and ya feelin the lows
the beat starts gettin into your toes
ya start poppin ya fingers and stompin your feet
and movin your body while youre sittin in your seat
and the damn ya start doin the freak
i said damn, right outta your seat
then ya throw your hands high in the air
ya rockin to the rhythm, shake your derriere
ya rockin to the beat without a care
with the sureshot m.c.s for the affair
now, im not as tall as the rest of the gang
but i rap to the beat just the same
i dot a little face and a pair of brown eyes
all im here to do ladies is hypnotize
singin on n n on n on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
singin on n n on n on on n on
like a hot buttered a pop da pop da pop dibbie dibbie
pop da pop pop ya dont dare stop
come alive yall gimme what ya got
i guess by now you can take a hunch
and find that i am the baby of the bunch
‘but that’s okay i still keep in stride
cause all i’m here to do is just wiggle your behind
singin on n n on n on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
singin on n n on n on on n on
rock rock yall throw it on the floor
im gonna freak ya here im gonna feak ya there
im gonna move you outta this atmosphere
cause im one of a kind and ill shock your mind
ill put t-t-tickets in your behind
i said 1-2-3-4, come on girls get on the floor
a-come alive, yall a-gimme what ya got
cause im guaranteed to make you rock
i said 1-2-3-4 tell me wonder mike what are you waitin for?
i said a hip hop the hippie to the hippie
the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
skiddlee beebop a we rock a scoobie doo
and guess what america we love you
cause ya rock and ya roll with so much soul
you could rock till you’re a hundred and one years old
i dont mean to brag i dont mean to boast
but we like hot butter on our breakfast toast
rock it up baby bubbah
baby bubbah to the boogie da bang bang da boogie
to the beat beat, its so unique
come on everybody and dance to the beat
i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
rock it out baby bubbah to the boogie da bang bang
the boogie to the boogie da beat
i said i cant wait til the end of the week
when im rappin to the rhythm of a groovy beat
and attempt to raise your body heat
just blow your mind so that you cant speak
and do a thing but a rock and shuffle your feet
and let it change up to a dance called the freak
and when ya finally do come in to your rhythmic beat
rest a little while so ya dont get weak
i know a man named hank
he has more rhymes than a serious bank
so come on hank sing that song
to the rhythm of the boogie da bang bang da bong
well, im imp the dimp the ladies pimp
the women fight for my delight
but im the grandmaster with the three mcs
that shock the house for the young ladies
and when you come inside, into the front
you do the freak, spank, and do the bump
and when the sucker mcs try to prove a point
we’re treacherous trio, we’re the serious joint
a from sun to sun and from day to day
i sit down and write a brand new rhyme
because they say that miracles never cease
i’ve created a devastating masterpiece
i’m gonna rock the mike til you cant resist
everybody, i say it goes like this
well i was comin home late one dark afternoon
a reporter stopped me for a interview
she said she’s heard stories and she’s heard fables
that i’m vicious on the mike and the turntables
this young reporter i did adore
so i rocked a vicious rhyme like i never did before
she said damn fly guy im in love with you
the casanova legend must have been true
i said by the way baby what’s your name
said i go by the name of lois lane
and you could be my boyfiend you surely can
just let me quit my boyfriend called superman
i said he’s a fairy i do suppoose
flyin through the air in pantyhose
he may be very sexy or even cute
but he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit
i said you need a man who’s got finesse
and his whole name across his chest
he may be able to fly all through the night
but can he rock a party til the early light
he cant satisfy you with his little worm
but i can bust you out with my super sperm
i go do it, i go do it, i go do it, do it , do it
an i’m here an i’m there i’m big bang hank, im everywhere
just throw your hands up in the air
and party hardy like you just dont care
let’s do it dont stop yall a tick a tock yall you dont stop
go hotel motel what you gonna do today(say what)
im gonna get a fly girl gonna get some spank drive off in a def oj
everybody go hotel motel holiday inn
you say if your girl starts actin up then you take her friend
i say skip, dive, what can i say
i cant fit em all inside my oj
so i just take half and bust them out
i give the rest to master gee so he could shock the house
it was twelve o’clock one friday night
i was rockin to the beat and feelin all right
everybody was dancin on the floor
doin all the things they never did before
and then this fly fly girl with a sexy lean
she came into the bar, she came into the scene
as she traveled deeper inside the room
all the fellas checked out her white sasoons
she came up to the table, looked into my eyes
then she turned around and shook her behind
so i said to myself, its time for me to release
my vicious rhyme i call my masterpiece
and now people in the house this is just for you
a little rap to make you boogaloo
now the group ya hear is called phase two
and let me tell ya somethin we’re a helluva crew
once a week we’re on the street
just a-cuttin’ the jams and making it free
for you to party ya got to have the movies
so we’ll get right down and give you the groove
for you to dance you gotta get hype
so we’ll get right down for you tonight
now the system’s on and the girls are there
ya definitely have a rockin affair
but let me tell ya somethin there’s still one fact
that to have a party ya got to have a rap
so when the party’s over you’re makin it home
and tryin to s