REVIEW: McDonald’s McRib

McDonald's McRib

Just like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, AMC Pacer, and the Grateful Dead, the McDonald’s McRib has a cult following.

Although the McRib’s following isn’t as dressed up or gay as those who follow the Rocky Horror Picture Show or isn’t as stoned as the Deadheads, but the McRib cult probably has a much wider ass than all of the other cults combined.

Currently, the McRib is on its McRib Farewell Tour II 06, which when it ends, means the McRib will no longer be offered on the McDonald’s menu.

Now I don’t know about you, but when I see Roman numerals after the words “Farewell Tour,” it makes me a little skeptical that this is the last hurrah for the McRib. After all, if it’s the McRib Farewell Tour II, there apparently was a Farewell Tour I, so there might be a Farewell Tour III, since Roman numerals have been used to keep track of long-running series and events. For example, there have been XL Super Bowls, XXIII Wrestlemanias, XXVIII Summer Olympics, and XXX Asian Poontang videos.

(Editor’s Note: Here’s a quick handy guide to Roman numerals if you’re not familiar with them: I is one. V is five. X is ten. L is fifty. C is one hundred. D is five hundred. M is one thousand. So Asian Poontang XXX is really Asian Poontang 30, but looks much more masturbatable as Asian Poontang XXX.)

Another reason why I expect to see the McRib in the McFuture is because of the petition on the annoying McRib website to save it. Although if I have learned anything from signing petitions, it’s that they aren’t very effective at making things happen, but it’s a great way to find out the address and phone number of the hot chick who signed it right before me.

The McRib I tried recently was the first one I ever had and it will definitely be the last one I have, even when the McRib Farewell Tour III rolls around in 2008. For those of you who haven’t had the opportunity to eat a McRib, it consists of a boneless piece of pork, dipped in some kind of tangy barbeque sauce with pickles and onions in between a special McRib bun.

The boneless pork was slightly rubbery and the barbeque sauce was not so tangy or tasty. Although, if you look at the picture above, it seems like most of the barbeque sauce ended up on the box it came in instead of the sandwich, causing its bland taste. The barbeque sauce also ended up on my fingers, shirt, and the crotch of my pants, which would’ve been trouble (or fun) if I owned a dog. Also, I’m not too sure why there are pickles in it.

Due to its blandness and messiness, I don’t ever see myself joining the McDonald’s McRib McCult. If I had to choose between joining the McRib McCult or a cult that involves wearing matching baby blue jumpsuits with matching black Nike shoes and drinking a magical fruit punch that “puts me to sleep” so that I can be taken up in a flying saucer to meet Ldlfjadlrdoiueoriadfij (pronounced Frank) and be married to fifty virgins beyond the Gates of the Shining Starlight, I would probably choose the cult with matching baby blue jumpsuits, not because I would meet Frank or the fifty virgins, but because the magical fruit punch would probably taste better than the McRib.

(Nutrition Facts – 500 calories, 26 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 980 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 22 grams of protein.)

Item: McDonald’s McRib
Price: $4.59 (Value Meal)
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Boneless. AMC Pacer. Magical fruit punch. Asian Poontang XXX.
Cons: Rubbery pork. Barbeque sauce wasn’t so tangy. Bland like a CBS sitcom. Messy like the money shots in Asian Poontang XXX. Napkins required. The McRib is overrated. The addition of pickles. McRib website is annoying. Petitions.

53 thoughts to “REVIEW: McDonald’s McRib”

  1. I actually used to eat these when I was a young girl…but I ate pretty much anything from McD’s…maybe that’s why I am so messed up today…at least now I have another topic for therapy!

  2. I have to admit, I usually eat one of these every time they come back just to say that I did. I have no idea how processed pork can be so goddamned rubbery, but I don’t ask questions, I just eat.

    I’ve always found it weird that they called it a McRib when nothing close to a rib has ever been near it. I guess the McSmallIntestine or the McPenis doesn’t have the same ring to it. Though I think I may have just found the name for my next film…

  3. I’m not a member of the cult, but I definitely have one of thier little tracts in my pocket.

    The past three Sundays were spent at the Waikele McDonald’s enjoying its rubbery goodness … and staring at Japanese tourist girls. Next weekend will be no different, unless Farewell Tour II ends by then. In which case I guess I’ll revert back to my usual grilled chicken.

  4. gko – I believe the McRib Farewell Tour II goes on until January. Also, most Japanese tourist girls smell like the inside of Shirokiya and 50 percent of them need braces.

  5. I just love that McRib comes with pickles. Because, really, nothing says Ribby goodness like…pickles. Ick.

    On the plus side (I suppose), I think the McRib girl was flirting with me on that website.

  6. Aarika – I thought she was flirting with me, but now that I think about, she might be a lesbian with her No Bone t-shirt on. Or she’s totally into abstinence. 😉

  7. I suppose that “McRib” sounds catchier than “McProcessedPork”. Of course, you could come up with some other fun names such as “McLoin” or “McButt” or “McSausage.” Although I think they already sell McSausage on their breafast menu. For that matter, “McPickle” also sounds kind of scary.

    Thanks for the review, Marvo…I hardly ever go to McD’s anyways but now I know to definitely STAY AWAY from this menu item…

  8. You know, I’m a vegetarian.
    And after reading your review, I think I’ll stay one.
    Although I am McCrazy for McDonalds McFries dipped in McDonalds McTripleThickMilkshakes in McChocolate.

    McLicious.

  9. I only had the McRib once before I went vegetarian. I kinda liked it, but it doesn’t taste like meat at all. We actually get the Gardenburger Riblets
    http://www.gardenburger.com/eat-positive/veggie-specialties/bbq-riblets.php
    now and they taste fantastic and are a similar deal, but TOTALLY vegan. Lord knows the McRib doesn’t TASTE like it has any meat in it, so it might as well not. I think you’re right though, like the Eagles or The Rolling Stones, the McRib is going to keep pretending like this is the last tour, but its old, tired, saggy ass will keep showing up every decade or so for a “final” farewell.

  10. Hmm…been wanting to try that – not sure how I’d hold up with rubbery pork though. Sounds kind of terrible.

    I’ll probably get it anyway though, since I never listen to my better judgement.

  11. Heather Feather, did you know that McDonalds french fries contain beef fat? (At least in the U.S.)

    Anyway, that picutre of the McRib looked like they raided the set of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and put some body parts on a bun. You are a very brave man to eat such a thing.

  12. the thing is gross. its existence should be allowed for one reason, and one reason only: so that you may fulfill your destiny and review it.
    i agree with your skepticism re: the farewell tour. but if it works for dumb bands like KISS …

  13. These dreaded things always make an appearance in my house during the summer, since my brother loves any meat product. Whenever I get one, I usually end up spitting out the rubbery gristle than swallowing the meat. But for some odd reason, I liked the pickles.

  14. That looks gross and sort of violent. I definitely won’t be trying a McRib, but mostly because after Supersize Me, I can’t eat there anymore. The fry part was… awful. Just awful. It’s in the outtakes, if anyone’s interested. But the pickles are the real kicker. I love pickles, but rib-things with pickles sounds like it should be on Fear Factor. Maybe the McRib will stop on Farewell Tour II, unlike Gunther Gable Williams of circus fame. I think the guy did 5 farewell tours and we went on field trips to all of them.

  15. Fuck Mcdonalds. I make it a pint to avoid eating there at all costs. Yuck. Question: How did you endure eating such a future valuable item? you should have freezed it and sold it on eBay after it is discontinued again for mucho diniro. Also, did you happen to see the Simpsons episode about the Mcrib?(perhaps it was the Krustyrib, or something.)

  16. Yeah, I admit it. I ate a bunch of these while a youngster. They were so disgustingly good in their first iteration–digustingly good like Totino’s Pizza Rolls (MMMMPH!).

    Of course, Marvolicious, I have to try this again. I mean, what if I don’t get another chance to do the wrong thing the right way again? I just don’t know if I can wait until ’08–what if I die before then?

  17. I didn’t finish mine. The pork was horrible. The pickles and onions were good, i hate those with the barbecue sauce. I don’t know how they get “Sauteed onions”, they look and taste raw to me.

    McDonald’s lunch is crap ever since they brought in the shitty “premium” salads and “premium” chicken sandwiches. See comment #8 at http://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2006/02/24/mcdonalds-spicy-premium-chicken-sandwich/#comments for the complete rant. Oh, and Hollister Donovan now likes to be called “Holly” and wears tighter jeans. And goes out with some rocker that wears vans. Mmmm, Hollister. Heh, better than fried compressed pork on a stale bun! Except a sweet sweet Hollister is better than anything. Maybe with some barbecue sauce, I could lick…

  18. I really do envy you this time.

    I was hoping the McRib would show up here around NYC but we got nothing.

    This review does nothing but feed my hunger for the most elusive sandwich on the market.

    One day… one day.

    I wonder if they’ll ever have an Arch Deluxe tour.. naa.

  19. It appears that I have some neighbors here (you could all live next door for all I know of my neighbors these days.) I was at Waikele today. I managed to bypass all things McFakefood. Actually, I’ve been living in McAbstention since I was a wee child & discovered that their stuff is crap.

    If I absolutely must eat on the road, I’ll have a Zip Pac, please.

  20. Chuck – Mmm…McBreast.

    Heather Feather – McAwesome and McGood.

    jenn – The fries definitely made up for it. But I don’t know about joining a cult that only eats McDonald’s fries. Too many carbs.

    L’il E – Man, I have a lot of vegetarians TIB readers.

    Rhawb – Well if you don’t finish it, you could always give the leftovers to a homeless dude, they’ll eat anything.

    Kiki – I thought they got rid of the beef fat. Oh well, better beef fat than body parts on a bun.

    Toni – Still tastes like ass…Oh wait, I really don’t know what ass tastes like. Give me a minute.

    tg – My destiny…sound like I’m in the TV show Heroes.

    Brie – They should make a McPickle. Nothing but pickles.

  21. Melanie – The fries will last forever.

    calvin – I should’ve bronzed it. I think it would’ve made it even more valuable. Also, I think the sandwich in the Simpsons was called a “Ribwich.”

    Domokun – Mmm…Totino’s Party Pizzas.

    Muneer – I don’t know about you, but I think the cheaper menu items at McDonald’s are much better than the expensive stuff. Double cheeseburger…good. Hot fudge sundae…good. Apple pies…good.

    Erika – You know, it’s okay to say “fucking sick” here.

    Lord Jezo – Are you serious? I thought the McRib promotion was a national-wide thing. Well at least you could drive to another state to find one. If the McRib wasn’t offered here, I wouldn’t have that option.

    skeet – Mmm…Zippy’s chili.

    Zadillo – Um…It fell?

  22. French Fries:
    Potatoes, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, natural flavor (beef, wheat and dairy sources), dextrose, sodium acid pyrophosphate (to preserve natural color). Cooked in partially hydrogenated vegetable oils (may contain partially hydrogenated soybean oil and/or partially hydrogenated corn oil and/or partially hydrogenated canola oil and/or cottonseed oil and/or sunflower oil and/or corn oil). Contains derivatives of wheat and dairy.

    Source: http://www.mcdonalds.com/app_controller.nutrition.categories.ingredients.index.html#1

    Awwww fuck.
    They’re right… ignorance is bliss.

  23. You’re like porn for those of us on hyper-restrictive diets Marvo, you eat the things we wouldn’t even eat if we weren’t. Of course, you’re like porn in a lot of other ways too, so it is just a win-win for us. All that and you make us laugh our guts out, what more could we ask for?

    Sorry you just found out Heather Feather. That is a sad day indeed. I remember it well. 🙁

  24. Wendys fries with a Frosty is soooo much better than McFries and McShake….. (and they don’t use beef products)

    I can’t believe you actually ate that, although if you ate the BBQ covered box it would probably be tastier, if not healthier.

  25. Really sorry, Heather Feather, but I figured you’d want to know. I was horrified to discover the truth about the beefy fries, about four YEARS after I became vegetarian. Barb is right, Wendy’s fries are pretty good.

  26. McPickle? Sounds like something Ron Jeremy would endorse.

    I’m not surprised that beef fat is in the French Fries. After movies like Supersize Me, and Fast Food Nation I’m about to swear off fast food entirely.

    (sees someone carrying a McFlurry)
    (sighs) Damnit. Nevermind.

  27. My dad used to work for a healthcare company. He found out from one of the nutritionists that the pickles are added to balance out the sugars in the corn syrup that is added to many of the products. Without the salt in the pickles, most McD’s burgers would be considered confectionery.

    Granted, this was in the 90s, but I imagine things haven’t changed that much.

    Another aside, if you get a condiment free burger from McD’s and set it on the counter for a week, a month, a year, etc… it won’t rot. Try it. It’s a fun and super gross experiment. Sure the bun gets hard and looks a little stale, but it won’t mold or rot. Super gross!

  28. Damn, I had to quit the McFry cult.
    They weren’t happy.
    Apparently I’m a liability now… ?

    I’m marking this on my calendar with a sad face Li’l E.

    I’ve been a vegetarian for like 4 or 5 years now, Kiki.
    Needless to say I’ve been eating my fries for that long as well!

    Screw McDonald’s, they should label them fucking beef fat fries.

    ::goes to Wendy’s to get new fries and Frosty::
    ::runs away from McFry cult leader chasing me with fry pitchforks::

  29. I won’t eat the McRib again after my last experience…The bastards at the store never even bothered to McMicrowave it for me.

    There’s nothing grosser than COLD and rubbery processed, boneless pork cutlets.

    Ugh…

    Wendy’s spicy chicken is the only fastfood I eat.

  30. Oh, you’ve crushed me so. How could you not love the McRib. I tasted my first McRib in Knoxville, TN in 1982 during the World’s Fair. I was 4. The McD’s across from the hotel we were in was part of the test market. My parents didn’t know what it was – they tried it. Heavenly ambrosia. It’s like the angels brought it to us. We had to leave and return to Cleveland. But McRib came! Oh happy day. Then a mysterious disappearance. Then they returned! Then gone. Then a return…but this time they were on the dollar menu and they were patties more in the shape of South America and on a hamburger bun – just when you thought McRib couldn’t get any better they bring these! I must have been doing something right in my life to be rewarded in such a way. Then gone, gone, gone. Then a return! I hope that they are just saying farewell to 2006 and will come back with a vengence in 2007. I don’t understand the pickles either, but I pick those off of that sweet sweet meat. Save the McRib!

  31. Heather Feather – Sorry about the beef in the fries, but the milkshakes don’t have beef.

    L’il E – I should totally do a meat week. 😉 Nay, a meat month!

    Barb – I think boxes have a lot of fiber.

    Kiki – More vegetarian readers? I really should be reviewing more vegetarian products.

    Brie – McPickle? Nah, I don’t think Ron Jeremy would endorse that because it’s too small. Perhaps he would endorse the McCucumber or the McEggplant?

    LN – But if I left it out on the counter, would the roaches eat it?

    Heather Feather – Um, I don’t think fry pitchforks hurt. They may burn if they just came out of the oil, but I think that’s the only harm they can do

    Some guy – Yup, that Wendy’s spicy chicken is a good sandwich, ten times better than the McDonald’s attempt a few months ago.

    Clevegal42 – Nooo! Don’t throw away the pickles, give them to MEEE!!!

    Erick – If I knew what pek pek was, I would probably agree with you. 🙂

  32. this article reminds me EXACTLY of the simpsons episode where homer follows the krusty rib sandwich around the country on a tour. i wonder where you could have stolen the idea and grateful dead reference from?

  33. hah… i tried the mcrib, and i agree with you. its horrible! wont be trying that out any time soon.

    i just stumbled onto this site, your reviews make for a good laugh

  34. DaDead – Your dump comes out in a bun? That’s soooo cool…and probably painful.

    nischt – I wanted to use KISS as a reference, but someone would probably point out that Simpsons episode as well. So I flipped a coin and decided on the Grateful Dead reference.

    Tracy – I say we create a petition to get our money back for buying the McRib. Also, thanks for the compliment.

    DaDead – If that is true, those must have come from some very big Amazonian women.

    Webmiztris – Mr. Hankey in a bun!

  35. My brother works at McDonalds.
    He says they stopped using beef fat.
    It’s only vegetable oil now.
    ::rejoins McFry cult::
    And you’re right Marvo… fry pitchforks don’t hurt.
    I should know, I was stabbed like, 80 times. o.0

  36. Tara – Please don’t try to save it. Think of the pigs you’ll be saving. Think of Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web. Think of Babe from the movie Babe.

    Mellie Helen – It’s even scarier in person.

  37. This review couldn’t be more wrong…just like the Shamrock Shake, the McRib is a fantastic McDonald’s product that’s offered far too infrequently. Get off your rear end right now and get your hands on a McRib. You won’t be sorry for long.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *