REVIEW: McDonald’s McRib

McDonald's McRib

Just like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, AMC Pacer, and the Grateful Dead, the McDonald’s McRib has a cult following.

Although the McRib’s following isn’t as dressed up or gay as those who follow the Rocky Horror Picture Show or isn’t as stoned as the Deadheads, but the McRib cult probably has a much wider ass than all of the other cults combined.

Currently, the McRib is on its McRib Farewell Tour II 06, which when it ends, means the McRib will no longer be offered on the McDonald’s menu.

Now I don’t know about you, but when I see Roman numerals after the words “Farewell Tour,” it makes me a little skeptical that this is the last hurrah for the McRib. After all, if it’s the McRib Farewell Tour II, there apparently was a Farewell Tour I, so there might be a Farewell Tour III, since Roman numerals have been used to keep track of long-running series and events. For example, there have been XL Super Bowls, XXIII Wrestlemanias, XXVIII Summer Olympics, and XXX Asian Poontang videos.

(Editor’s Note: Here’s a quick handy guide to Roman numerals if you’re not familiar with them: I is one. V is five. X is ten. L is fifty. C is one hundred. D is five hundred. M is one thousand. So Asian Poontang XXX is really Asian Poontang 30, but looks much more masturbatable as Asian Poontang XXX.)

Another reason why I expect to see the McRib in the McFuture is because of the petition on the annoying McRib website to save it. Although if I have learned anything from signing petitions, it’s that they aren’t very effective at making things happen, but it’s a great way to find out the address and phone number of the hot chick who signed it right before me.

The McRib I tried recently was the first one I ever had and it will definitely be the last one I have, even when the McRib Farewell Tour III rolls around in 2008. For those of you who haven’t had the opportunity to eat a McRib, it consists of a boneless piece of pork, dipped in some kind of tangy barbeque sauce with pickles and onions in between a special McRib bun.

The boneless pork was slightly rubbery and the barbeque sauce was not so tangy or tasty. Although, if you look at the picture above, it seems like most of the barbeque sauce ended up on the box it came in instead of the sandwich, causing its bland taste. The barbeque sauce also ended up on my fingers, shirt, and the crotch of my pants, which would’ve been trouble (or fun) if I owned a dog. Also, I’m not too sure why there are pickles in it.

Due to its blandness and messiness, I don’t ever see myself joining the McDonald’s McRib McCult. If I had to choose between joining the McRib McCult or a cult that involves wearing matching baby blue jumpsuits with matching black Nike shoes and drinking a magical fruit punch that “puts me to sleep” so that I can be taken up in a flying saucer to meet Ldlfjadlrdoiueoriadfij (pronounced Frank) and be married to fifty virgins beyond the Gates of the Shining Starlight, I would probably choose the cult with matching baby blue jumpsuits, not because I would meet Frank or the fifty virgins, but because the magical fruit punch would probably taste better than the McRib.

(Nutrition Facts – 500 calories, 26 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 980 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 22 grams of protein.)

Item: McDonald’s McRib
Price: $4.59 (Value Meal)
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Boneless. AMC Pacer. Magical fruit punch. Asian Poontang XXX.
Cons: Rubbery pork. Barbeque sauce wasn’t so tangy. Bland like a CBS sitcom. Messy like the money shots in Asian Poontang XXX. Napkins required. The McRib is overrated. The addition of pickles. McRib website is annoying. Petitions.

53 thoughts on “REVIEW: McDonald’s McRib

  1. this article reminds me EXACTLY of the simpsons episode where homer follows the krusty rib sandwich around the country on a tour. i wonder where you could have stolen the idea and grateful dead reference from?

  2. hah… i tried the mcrib, and i agree with you. its horrible! wont be trying that out any time soon.

    i just stumbled onto this site, your reviews make for a good laugh

  3. DaDead – Your dump comes out in a bun? That’s soooo cool…and probably painful.

    nischt – I wanted to use KISS as a reference, but someone would probably point out that Simpsons episode as well. So I flipped a coin and decided on the Grateful Dead reference.

    Tracy – I say we create a petition to get our money back for buying the McRib. Also, thanks for the compliment.

    DaDead – If that is true, those must have come from some very big Amazonian women.

    Webmiztris – Mr. Hankey in a bun!

  4. My brother works at McDonalds.
    He says they stopped using beef fat.
    It’s only vegetable oil now.
    ::rejoins McFry cult::
    And you’re right Marvo… fry pitchforks don’t hurt.
    I should know, I was stabbed like, 80 times. o.0

  5. Tara – Please don’t try to save it. Think of the pigs you’ll be saving. Think of Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web. Think of Babe from the movie Babe.

    Mellie Helen – It’s even scarier in person.

  6. This review couldn’t be more wrong…just like the Shamrock Shake, the McRib is a fantastic McDonald’s product that’s offered far too infrequently. Get off your rear end right now and get your hands on a McRib. You won’t be sorry for long.

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