REVIEW: Shirakiku Microwavable Rice

Today’s review is all about helping my fellow rice-eating Asian brothers and sisters with keepin’ it real.

Are you the only Asian in your town and every time you’re at a party the only starch available is either potatoes, pasta, or bread?

Sure, you’ll scoop some mashed potatoes on your plate, but deep down, you really wish those potatoes were the OTHER white starch. You also don’t want to shovel those potatoes in your mouth, because your rice farming ancestors are probably watching you and waiting to see if you keep it real.

Sometimes your non-Asian friends will make Uncle Ben’s rice to accommodate you, thinking rice is rice, and on the outside you’re appreciative, but in the inside, you know that Uncle Ben’s rice will not suffice. It’s just not the same.

Then sometimes some drunk dude at the party will ask you if you can introduce him to some Asian chicks because he heard they were “tight” and will “love me long time.” Then another person will ask if you know karate, judo, kung fu, or any other of the Asian martial arts. Someone will ask you if you’re related to Jackie Chan and you’ll say you’re not, then correct them by saying your last name is Chen, not Chan.

Then some random woman will come up to you and say that she really enjoyed reading The Joy Luck Club and the movie version made her cry. Then some REALLY drunk dude will want you to apologize for Pearl Harbor. Someone else will ask you if you can solve a math problem for them.

Then an older woman will want to know if Calgon detergent really is an “ancient Chinese secret.” Some creepy guy will quietly ask you where he could get his hands on some “Japanese monster tentacle sex cartoons.” Another person will talk with you about how much they love their Toyota Camry. Then another drunk person will wonder how comfortable those “thongs” are that sumo wrestlers wear.

I can’t help my fellow Asians with any of the situations described in the last three paragraphs, but I can assist them with making their rice farming ancestors proud of them for keepin’ it real with the Shirakiku Microwavable Rice.

Each container contains 7.05 ounces of rice, which is enough for two meals, unless you’re a sumo wrestler, then it’s an appetizer. It also contains 318 calories, 71 grams of carbs, 0.4 grams of fiber, and 5.6 grams of protein. The rice itself was very good, it was fluffy and sticky, just like the way I prefer my cotton candy, but not too fluffy and sticky, just like the way I prefer my strippers.

It was also surprisingly better tasting than anything I’ve ever made in a normal rice cooker, which either says a lot about this product’s quality or says a lot about how much my rice cooking abilities suck.

The best part of the Shirakiku Microwavable Rice is the fact that it’s really quick and easy to prepare. Just pull back the lid a little and then heat it in the microwave for about one minute. If you’re old school or afraid the microwave’s radiation will mess with your DNA, you can also prepare it on a stove top by heating the container in boiling water for about 14 minutes.

Well I hope today’s review will help my fellow Asians get out of a rice-less situation with ease. Sure, carrying a container of Shirakiku Microwavable Rice in your purse or jacket pocket is a pain the ass since the container is about an inch thick, four inches wide, and eight inches long, but just think of the smiles you’ll receive from your rice picking ancestors when you meet them after you die.

Item: Shirakiku Microwavable Rice
Price: $1.39
Purchased at: Uwajimaya – Seattle
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Quick and easy to prepare. Better than the rice I cook. Fluffy and sticky. No need to add water. 5.6 grams of protein. Enough rice for two meals, unless you’re a sumo wrestler. Keepin’ it real.
Cons: Pricey if you compare it to a 20-pound bag of rice, which goes on sale for $5-$6. Not for people on the Atkins Diet. Packaging isn’t very compact.

31 thoughts to “REVIEW: Shirakiku Microwavable Rice”

  1. OK that time you actually managed to make me sad with your schtick. Maybe it was the frownie? I’m going to every Asian market in town now in search of this stuff. You need to find a woman toot sweet buddy, join a club or something—Sierra Club? There’s a lot of pretty places to go hiking on Oahu…hiking is great cardio exercise too to get you into in shape for when it is time to “seal the deal” if you will.

  2. yum yum yum- you know, for any brown rice lovers out there, Trader Joes has a microwaveable brown rice that is pretty good…..but i’ll definitly try this one, I love sticky white rice!

  3. Hey Marvo, I know I’ve been around for a while, but I honestly can’t recall the other items you’ve given a 5/5. I figure that this wasn’t the first, but hell, I’m sure I can count them with one hand.

    As for your extra long middle finger, looks like you’ll have to use a measuring cup instead 🙂

  4. Lord Jezo – Oh Lord Jezo, you are the most Asian non-Asian I’ve ever known.

    Riley – If I could’ve given it a 6, I totally would, but that would cause a rift in the product rating continuum and would probably destroy Consumer Reports.

    L’il E – I thought women like love handles. They have “love” in its name.

    melis – I wouldn’t mind a brown rice version of this. Mmm…healthier.

    Toni – Nah, I’ll just follow the lines in the rice pot.

    Luck O’ the Irish – Jealous? Isn’t that a normal size?

  5. “I love rice – the kind they actually serve in Chinese restaurants – but Minute Rice just doesn’t cut it.”

    neophyte. that’s not japanese rice (the sticky, short-grain kind) that they’re serving you.

  6. Word up to my Asian brotha. Actually, although I know the plight of the Asians well, I’m only half Japanese, and I’m sort of fat, so most people guess Mexican or Hawaiian before half-Japanese, half-Wisconsin white-trash. Oh well, at least I only get asked for help with math when people here I’m an Engineering major.

  7. zzz – Chinese rice and long plastic Chinese chopstick…such a bad combination.

    Mad Cow – I’m betting the Japanese half of you made you want to become an engineer. I’m also going to guess that you’re in electrical engineering.

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