NEWS: You Say Clamato, I Say Oh-Hell-No

I’ve never had a Clamato in my life, but I’m going to assume that the new Clamato Energia energy drink is possibly the worst energy drink idea EVER.

Sure, it’s got the usual ginseng, guarana, and taurine found in other energy drinks, but the reconstituted tomato juice concentrate mixed with reconstituted dried clam broth in the Clamato itself makes it as appealing as combing the armpit hairs of a juiced up Eastern European female bodybuilder with a voice that sounds like James Earl Jones.

Of course, being the masochistic bastard that I am, I would totally try the Clamato Energia…and possibly comb the armpit hairs of an Eastern European female bodybuilder on steroids. Although I’m allergic to shellfish, so drinking one may cause me to get hives or pass out.

Perhaps one of the more frightening things about the Clamato Energia is the possibility that it might be a gateway drink to even worse beverages, such as anything that contestants on Fear Factor would drink for $50,000 or an O’Doul’s.

[Via:] TIB reader Poncho
[Site:] Clamato

26 thoughts on “NEWS: You Say Clamato, I Say Oh-Hell-No

  1. wait a minute.

    IS THIS FOR REAL?

    WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING?

    Can someone please tell me who gave this drink the greenlight?

    this is seriously the worst idea i’ve ever heard, I want to puke just thinking about what it might taste like.

  2. One of my coworkers found these abominations at a Big Lots, though the can design was a bit different… One guy hated it… another thought it was very Bloody Maryish, and actually liked the drink. Go figure…

  3. I agree with Calvin…this is definitely one of the worst product ideas of all time. Clam juice plus tomato juice plus caffeine? Nice way to make me hurl.

  4. Don’t forget about Clamato’s sister drink, Beefmato. Made with real beef juice! I’m not making this up.

    I shutter just thinking about these drinks.

    I tried the Clamato Engergia Drink. I paid 50 cents for it and got ripped off! It tastes like a mix of ball sweat and salt. It’s terrible!

  5. Dude, you tried jalapeno SPAM. On the scale of edibility, nothing can rank lower, even energy-infused clam juice.

  6. C’mon Marvo, it’s a company that makes clam juice–they have to do something! Either that or change their whole manufacturing process to use ingredients people actually want to eat/drink.

    You just need to be more supportive.

  7. I bought two can at Big Lots while sampling the various energy drinks available. I drank part of one can, it did taste Bloody Maryish, and I enjoyed maybe two ounces. Then I wanted no more. The other can sits in my fridge and laughs at me every time I open the door. A much better Big Lots energy drink find — Bookoo Zero Carb Wild Berry.

  8. I think that, as popular as mixed drinks using some of the energy drinks as a base are, this is probably something they’ll use to make bloody marys with a “kick”.

  9. This is going to sound totally xenophobic but I try to stay away from drinks that have more than one language on the bottle. I make exceptions for margaritas and daiquiris. You know, the obvious stuff.

  10. You say Clamato and I say disgusting, you say refreshing and I say take-me-to-the-hospital-to-pump-my-stomach. Clamato, disgusting, refreshing, TMTTHTPMS, let’s call the whole thing off.

  11. calvin – It’s real, sitting on a shelf somewhere for an unsuspecting victim.

    Chris Harrison – One person’s enjoyable beverage is another person’s vomit inducer.

    Lord Jezo – If any of TIB’s Japanese readers are willing to ship me some, I’ll totally review it.

    Chuck – I don’t think there’s caffeine in it, but I think adding it might make it microscopically better.

    tgpo – 50 cents for this energy drink? Maybe it’s worth it?

    littlepurplegeltab – Well if I get my hands on the Clamato energy drink, I can find out.

    Domokun – I’m sorry. I guess I should look at it through their eyes. Maybe they got a great deal on tomato juice concentrate and clam juice concentrate and they have to get rid of it somehow.

  12. AmberLB – Oooh, if it keeps laughing at you, stab it with a screwdriver and its red liquid will ooze out like it’s blood.

    Danette – Now those don’t sound so bad. I’d eat those and not barf, but again I could pass out from eating them, due to my allergic reaction to shellfish.

    webmiztris – Hopefully, I’ll find out someday.

    Brie – It must be what Nicole Richie drinks.

    Caray – They should just include the alcohol with it. I think it would sell better. Celery not included.

    Peachy – Don’t forget Russian vodka!

    Clevegal42 – TMTTHTPMS? Teenage Mutant Turtles something something something Pre-menstural syndrome?

  13. I have an idea. Reading this review and comments and references to the drink’s vomit-inducing properties reminded me of the only non-alcoholic drink that almost made me vomit: one of those detox drinks I used to pass a “test” in college. Marvo, can you please please please review a detox drink??? I’d be forever grateful.

  14. This shit is gross as hell. I seen it at big lots for $0.50 so I bought it because I needed the can for my collection. It smelled like something from my ass! I took a sip and spit it out then I puked becasue of it. This shit sould have a poison label!

    Worst Energy Drink on the Planet!

  15. Chris Harrison – Just thinking about that makes me nauseous.

    Alan – I think if it said Worst Energy Drink on the Planet, it would sell a whole lot more.

  16. @Marvo,

    No. 50 cents was a rip off! I don’t know exactly which level of Hell they make this stuff, but it must be from the bad part of town.

  17. I love Clamato juice, and I love energy drinks! I wonder if they have this in Canada? It looks pretty good.

  18. tgpo – If it’s that bad, I’m pretty sure it’s available at all levels of hell.

    Silent Xenocide – Really? You love Clamato juice? Well I’m glad you’re helping keep that company in business. 🙂

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