Pomegranate 7UP

Since when has pomegranate ever been festive?

When I think of Christmas, I don’t think about pomegranate, but according to the snowflake covered packaging of the limited-time-only Pomegranate 7UP, it might be the second coming of mistletoe. I can think of many things more festive than pomegranate. People waking up at 3:00 a.m. on Black Friday to wait in line at 4:00 a.m. for a slim chance to get a $399 laptop or $10 DVD player, but when they get there, there’s already fifty people in line wanting the same stuff is more Christmassy than pomegranate.

I don’t know of anyone who adds the pomegranate berry to trees, wreaths, or holiday centerpieces. I can’t think of anyone who uses its juice to either permanently stain all their clothes to holiday readiness or to paint a Santa suit on their skin. There also isn’t anyone who thinks pomegranate makes Rudolph’s nose red or adds color to Santa’s cheeks. So how can pomegranate suddenly be holiday-ish?

When I found out about the Pomegranate 7UP, I didn’t think to myself, “Move over, egg nog, I’m going to get fat off of another beverage this season.” But wait, now that I think about it, how would I get fat off of pomegranate? After all, it’s healthy and full of antioxidants.

Thankfully, the wonderful folks at 7UP have solved this dilemma for me, because according to the ingredients list on its packaging, the Pomegranate 7UP has no pomegranate in it and enough sugar to replace the fat content of egg nog, which will help me if I want to become a shopping mall Santa without the need for a fat suit. I know it says “100% Natural Flavors” on the label, but when there’s no juice in its ingredients to give this soda its flavor, you’ve got to wonder whether it’s as natural as Demi Moore’s face.

There definitely is a pomegranate flavor to it, although it’s kind of light. Its overall flavor is good and not sickly sweet, despite the 31 grams of sugar per cup. However, unless you love the taste of pomegranate, I don’t see any real reason to purchase this variation of 7UP. The whole point of putting pomegranate into something is for its health benefits, but when there’s no pomegranate to be found, it’s like a golddigger sleeping with MC Hammer in 1996 and then finding out that he’s bankrupt.

Oh, how I miss Pepsi Holiday Spice.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 35 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbs, 31 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 0 grams of caffeine, and 0 grams actual pomegranateness)

Item: Pomegranate 7UP
Price: $1.49 (2-liters)
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Tastes good. Not sickly sweet. Pepsi Holiday Spice. Getting a $399 laptop on Black Friday.
Cons: Seems like there’s no actual pomegranate. HFCS. No sweet, sweet caffeine. 31 grams of sugar per cup. Golddiggers. Not getting a $399 laptop on Black Friday.

33 thoughts to “Pomegranate 7UP”

  1. i miss pepsi holiday spice 🙁 do they still make it?

    i made a healthier probably better version of this drink by combining pom brand juice, sparkling water (fancy), and granulated white sugar.

  2. Add some vodka and viola – you’re ready for the office Christmas party! Or the toilet. Both could be a colorful affair.

  3. stephanie – Sadly, I don’t think they make Pepsi Holiday Spice anymore. All we have now are our memories of it.

    Erika – Mmm…vodka + office Christmas party = photocopied pictures of my ass.

    Chuck – I’ve been looking for those fruit-flavored Michelob Ultra beers…Oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that.

  4. Santa would often put a pomegranate in the toe of our Christmas stockings. (Yeah, it was like I grew up in Little House on the Prairie or something.)

  5. If you keep consuming that much sugar you’ll have your own boobs. What a delightful way to combine a love of pomegranate, boobs, carbonated beverages and santa-like obesity.

  6. sweet mother of mercy, i do love me some pomegranates. though being the uncultured heathen i am, i never really saw them outside of the bookends of thanksgiving and new years. even bath and body works foists pomegranate sprays at me and the grocery store hawks pomegranate salads and yet it’s only for the months of november and december. i admit it, i’m a child of marketing.

    that said, i’m totally mixing this with rum and storing it in the flask i keep in my desk drawer at work. what’s not to love about alcoholism when it’s fizzy and red as rudolph’s nose, yes?

  7. I, too, enjoyed Pepsi Holiday Spice (hmm, sounds like a Spice Girl). However, Sierra Mist has put out their cranberry version two years in a row, and it’s yummy.

    Pomegranate soda? I’ll pass.

  8. cybele – In the toe? I’m surprised Santa didn’t squeeze the pomegranate causing the red juice to stain the stocking and leave a note saying, “If you’re naughty, this is what happens to your foot.”

    Karen – I already have 34 A cups.

    betsy – Oh, rum. I have alcohol choices with this soda. Vodka. Rum. I’m waiting for someone to say gin.

    rfduck – I do enjoy the Cranberry Sierra Mist, but I do not enjoy the Spice Girls.

  9. I could tell you that I didn’t run over a few broads in order to get my 80 dollar external hard drive, but I’d be lying to you.

  10. I’d totally have a Tanqueray 10 and pomegranate. Mmmhmm…I’d mess myself up on that. I’m sure I could mess myself up on just plain pomegranate alone considering the extra pooping, but well, there’s gin!

  11. I seriously need to stop reading these posts at work. The last paragraph made me almost choke on my pomegranate green tea right at my desk.
    On second thought, it’s stuff like this that keeps me from running out the front door into traffic. Thanks Marvo!

  12. Although the label says “100% natural flavors” it doesn’t specify what flavor so I guess that makes it legal. I can just imagine the R & D team combining all sorts of natural flavors and someone shouting, “Hey, this tastes like pomegranate juice and I didn’t die!” Whatevs.

  13. See now there you go and did it again! I was wondering about this stuff and you tried it for me. Thanks for being such a pal!

    Pomegranates make my head hurt. I can never spell it quite right – how many of them there As do I need? All those bloody looking seeds. The label on the bottle scares me!

    I babble – GIN!

  14. Many years ago there 7-up had a product called 7-up Gold. I don’t think it was a seasonal thing, and I don’t even think it made it out of test marketing, but it was grand. It tasted like Christmas in a bottle.

  15. i have no idea what a pomegranate tastes like. I don’t think I’ve ever even SEEN one, but I have some pomegranate body spray and lotion and it smells SOOO good!

  16. I’ve always loved pomogranates. I think might even love them more because of the myth attached…

  17. Vodka is just about the only thing that would make this stuff better. I love pomogranates and this stuff was gross, so like all my hand-me-downs it got pawned off on my little sister.

  18. Ace – Dude, they always have $80 hard drives on sale. I should know, because I keep buying them to store the high quality celebrity whale tail and fripple shots from The Superficial.

    Domokun – GIN!!! You said gin. Now I need someone to say tequila.

    aunt crabby – You are so welcome. I feel bad I make you choke, but I guess it’s a gift I have when I’m around women.

    Lane O – Damn the FDA and their stupid 100% natural flavor rule.

    Susu – GIN!!! Now I need someone to recommend whiskey.

    Red Icculus – 31 grams of sugar is also gut-astic and I’ve got the gut to prove it.

    thebrokedown – Did it have gold flakes floating in it like Goldschlager?

    Henry Evil – Just checked eBay and there are a few individual cans up for bids. I would bid on one, but I don’t think my stomach could handle a two year old can of soda.

    ellie – If I were the holiday police, I would replace mistletoes with pomegranates and then make gift cards last forever.

    Webmiztris – So pomegranate could be an aphrodisiac? Maybe stained clothes might be worth it.

    demondoll – I can’t say that I love pomegranates, because I’ve only known them for only a couple of years. But after a few more years, I could love them, perhaps settle down with them, and start a family.

    Victoria C. – I bet you would probably pawn me off to your little sister too. 🙁

  19. I just found this while looking up interesting info on Doritos. You guys Rock Tacos! Sincerely love your stuff! Hope you don’t mind that I raved about you a bit on my blog…

  20. Actually, pomegranates are traditional to Italian Christmas feasts, since their season is this time of year. I never had a Christmas without one.

  21. I usually put the seeds in my fruit salads for the holidays. The combination of pineapple & pom seeds is like a post-prom party in your mouth.

    That being said, I bought this soda & didn’t like it. Too much sugar. So I will do what I’ve done for the last 5 years & buy Pom Wonderful pomegranate-blueberry juice, and cut it with Clearly Canadian Blackberry. Yummmmm.

    They got pomegranates out there on that rock in the Pacific?

  22. Katie – I don’t mind, but could you also rave to the other six billion people on Earth…individually. Thank you. 🙂

    Drew – Hmm…I figured you to be more of an ass kind of guy. Go figure.

    K – Thanks to the Pomegranate 7UP, this will be the first Christmas with “pomegranate” in it.

    Aimee – Sadly, my post-prom parties ended with me crying.

  23. I love this and the Pepsi Holiday Spice, and I dearly wish both could come back in diet next year!

    I’d like to see more proof of actual pomegranate myself.

  24. The last can of Holiday Spice in my fridge was just finished off a couple of weeks ago.

    Now that it’s gone I feel a bit empty inside. I should have bought more when I had the chance, but at least I still have 4 pack of Coke Blak in the closet to break open a few years from now.

  25. Nevis – I dunno, I think you might be disappointed. They don’t keep it real.

    LordJezo – So when did you drink the Surge and Crystal Pepsi?

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