Happy Fourth Birthday!!! + PRIZE DRAWING
By Marvo | August 9, 2008
Dear TIB,
Today, you turned four years old. Pretty soon you won’t be wetting your bed on a regular basis, your teeth will start falling out, and I’ll take you out for trick-or-treating, dressing you up in a ridiculous costume for Halloween that you’ll be embarrassed about when you’re significantly older. I’ll probably turn you into Yoda, a koala, or put you in a mini Hot Dog on a Stick uniform. Thankfully, you’re not big enough to kick my ass, because I would if our roles were reversed.
You’ve grown well over the past four years, but I wish I could say the same for myself. Raising you has been a rewarding, but demanding process that I wish didn’t involve so much consumption of fast food and energy drinks. However, it’s what you want and as your guardian I need to provide it to you because if I don’t, you’re going to whine as loud as an air raid siren. But I just want you to remember that you can’t get everything in life by just whining, because eventually the only thing that your whining will get you is a hard spank on your rear end.
So what does the future hold? Well I’m hoping to give you a brother or a sister to play with, but I’m not sure when that’s going to happen. Dealing with two of you would be a big responsibility and I don’t know if I’m ready for it yet, but when I do decide I’ll let you know.
We’re going to celebrate your birthday the same way we’ve celebrated your past birthdays by holding a prize drawing. For your fourth birthday, we’re going to give away four (4) mystery boxes, filled with items that we’ve reviewed over the past four years. The contents of each mystery box will be different.
To enter the drawing, TIB readers will have to leave a comment for this post with the words, “Happy Birthday TIB” and whatever else they would like to say. They should fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing address.
We will start accepting entries for the drawing on Saturday, August 9, 2008 and stop accepting entries on Saturday, August 16, 2008 (11:59 Hawaii Standard Time). Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is open to EVERYONE (Thank goodness for USPS Flat Rate boxes).
The winners will be determined in a way that has not been decided. It will probably be lame.
Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about getting a free iPhone. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about how you can apply for a Disney credit card with your favorite character on it. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, the results of the upcoming US presidential election, or your iPhone freezing.
Anyhoo, TIB, you’re the best thing that’s happened in my life…okay, I’m lying about that, but you’re probably in the top 5…okay, definitely in the top 10.
Love,
Papa
Topics: General, Prize Drawing | |
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August 9th, 2008 at 1:04 PM
Happy Birthday! Four years? Really? I should get a life and get away from computer. It just doesn’t seem like that long. (That’s what she said.)
August 9th, 2008 at 1:06 PM
Long time reader, first time commenter.
Happy Birthday TIB!
August 9th, 2008 at 1:09 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! Loved every bit of the site’s life!
August 9th, 2008 at 1:16 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!! Hope you go on another 4 years!!!!
August 9th, 2008 at 1:28 PM
Happy Birthday TIB, my most favoritest web site in the whole world! I hope you have many much more years of fun to read reviews!
August 9th, 2008 at 1:34 PM
I don’t want to enter the drawing, but Happy Birthday from Candy Addict and Snackerrific. May all your reviews be tasty, yet funny.
Brian
August 9th, 2008 at 1:37 PM
Happy Birthday TIB; I adore you!
August 9th, 2008 at 1:38 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! I’ll send you all the clothes my 5-year-old just outgrew!
August 9th, 2008 at 1:41 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB! How big is TIB? SOOOOO BIG! How big is TIB? SOOOOO BIG! That’s right! You’re so big!!
(No need to smack me in the face — I just did it myself. Ow.)
August 9th, 2008 at 1:43 PM
Happy Birthday TIB.
I love you so much…
Marvo and Ace are dreamy.
Keep reviews coming.
On your 10th birthday I’ll write a sonnet.
August 9th, 2008 at 1:44 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
August 9th, 2008 at 1:46 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! I found out about you like two months ago but I love you dearly just the same.
August 9th, 2008 at 1:49 PM
Congratulations! Happy Birthday, TIB
August 9th, 2008 at 2:00 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! Thank you for alerting me to new junk foods etc… that I just can’t live without or that I should avoid at all costs. Looking forward to many more product updates in the future.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:06 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB!
And thanks to my husband who sent me the link originally. Apparently he doesn’t actually WORK while at work.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:07 PM
Happy birthday TIB! This is definitely a great day to be born; today is my birthday as well (I promise I’m not lying, it really is my birthday!). I feel so proud and blessed to share a birthday with TIB.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:08 PM
Happy birthday TIB! Always entertaining, always a good distraction from what I should actually be doing. Here’s to another four years!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Happy birthday To You, You live in a zoo, some impulses are a bit iffy but that’s why they review.
Yes verrryyy cheesy, thank you :)
HappY Bday TIB
August 9th, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
I love the site!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:16 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:16 PM
Congrats on 4 years!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:20 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
You make my heart sing and my tummy growl!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:21 PM
Happy Birthday TIB !
I love reading about foods my stupid hick town refuses to carry!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:24 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! Four more years!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:27 PM
Happy birthday TIB! I hope all your b-day wishes come true!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:27 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! I love your reviews! They brighten my day.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:30 PM
Happy Birthday!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:33 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB!
I’m so glad I don’t produce any food products, so I don’t have to worry about you making sexual innuendos regarding them…
Keep reviewin’ and I’ll keep viewin’
August 9th, 2008 at 2:42 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB!
We’re such new friends, I’m glad I found you. Thank you for not ignoring me on the playground in my time of need.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:44 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIB!!!
I’m so happy I found this site two years ago!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:45 PM
Happy birthday TIB - thanks for the down-to-earth and downright humorous food reviews! Keep up the good work!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:50 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
You were the first food blog I ever read <3 And still my favorite.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:53 PM
Coming out of lurkdom to wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIB! Your review kick ass!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:55 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!
August 9th, 2008 at 2:56 PM
Happy Birthday TIB !
Happy Birthday TIB !
Happy Birthday TIB !
Happy Birthday TIB ! (for all those years I’ve missed.)
August 9th, 2008 at 2:58 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! It´s fun to read you..
August 9th, 2008 at 3:00 PM
Happy Birthday TIB.
I’ve only recently come across your wonder, but have already become a frequent viewer. =D
August 9th, 2008 at 3:01 PM
awwww its so cute to hear a man who adores his child. your such a proud papa!
Happy Birthday TIB!!!!
August 9th, 2008 at 3:11 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!
August 9th, 2008 at 3:14 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!
I love you guys!
August 9th, 2008 at 3:14 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
August 9th, 2008 at 3:15 PM
Happy Birthday TIB :)
August 9th, 2008 at 3:21 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!
Thank you for your humor and for poor Marvo and Ace always taking one for the team and saving us countless calories and money by being our taste testers!
August 9th, 2008 at 3:30 PM
HAPPY BIRFDAY TIB! *jumps naked out of a cake*
August 9th, 2008 at 3:32 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! I turn 22 tomorrow!
August 9th, 2008 at 3:36 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! Here’s a dollar. Don’t spend it all in one place.
August 9th, 2008 at 3:40 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! You make every other day so special! ;-)
August 9th, 2008 at 3:40 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! Mine is about to be 2, and I have no idea where all the time went!
August 9th, 2008 at 3:45 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB! You are awesome!
August 9th, 2008 at 3:47 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! I’ve made many a purchasing decision based on your reviews. Thanks.
August 9th, 2008 at 3:49 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! I still remember those days when you were just a baby HTML text document. Now look at you…
August 9th, 2008 at 3:57 PM
I have only recently run into you, but you have made me chuckle many times. I hope you get taller soon though, so you won’t keep looking up my nose. Gross.
Happy Birthday TIB. Now go put on your Spiderman underwear and have a tantrum.
August 9th, 2008 at 4:02 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
Especially when said birthday = potential loot.
Thanks for sharing, Marvo.
And for all your sexy reviews.
August 9th, 2008 at 4:13 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! Thanks for making every trip to the grocery store/gas station/fast food restaurant like a scavenger hunt!
August 9th, 2008 at 4:21 PM
Happy birthday TIB!
August 9th, 2008 at 4:28 PM
“Happy Birthday TIB”
August 9th, 2008 at 4:38 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 9th, 2008 at 4:38 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! I’ve been here since ze beginning, and it has been one helluva ride thus far. :D
August 9th, 2008 at 4:51 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIB!
Good times.
August 9th, 2008 at 4:52 PM
Happy birthday TIB! soon youll be going to half day kindergarten - youve grown up so fast!
August 9th, 2008 at 4:52 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! Everyday I check to see when you rate a new item, as a matter a fact I’m subscribed to you through RSS feed! You guys are awesome and I appreciate what you do.
August 9th, 2008 at 4:58 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB! Wishing you many, many, many more.
August 9th, 2008 at 5:00 PM
I wish you a Happy Birthday, TIB
Such a fan you have in me…
Your reviews are enticing
I wanna lick off the icing
of this cake of glutton and glee.
August 9th, 2008 at 5:02 PM
Happy b-day to TIB! heres looking forward to another fantastic year of reviews and debauchery!
August 9th, 2008 at 5:22 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB! May you have many, many more.
August 9th, 2008 at 5:22 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB — happy to celebrate, even though you refuse to take responsibility for my iphone freezing up. Whatev.
August 9th, 2008 at 5:25 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
August 9th, 2008 at 5:26 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
Sorry you don’t have a momma — but some families are different and special. *hug*
August 9th, 2008 at 5:58 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
Here’s to many more years of reviewing the Truly Tasteful Treats to the Discusting Delicious Delicacies!
Cheers!
August 9th, 2008 at 6:06 PM
Happy Birthday TIB !
A haiku:
The Impulsive Buy
Random foods are often gross
Review more items
August 9th, 2008 at 6:15 PM
Happy Birthday TIB, and I hope to be reading here for many more birthdays to come.
August 9th, 2008 at 6:21 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! You don’t look a day over 2!
August 9th, 2008 at 6:50 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
Thank you for many reviews on food that I will probably never eat nor want to look at again! :)
Your site brings much humor and nausea to my life! lol
August 9th, 2008 at 7:02 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
This site has gotten me through a many a boring day at work and I really appreciate the humor and goofiness that I can revel in whilst dealing with the general public who are really really really really really annoying. Never work at a public library.
August 9th, 2008 at 7:08 PM
A haiku:
Happy Birthday TIB
Happy Birthday T.I.B.
Happy Birthday TIB
August 9th, 2008 at 7:12 PM
Happy Birthday, TIB.
Actually, I still call you “Tibbie,” but you’re only four. Probably by the time you start first grade I’ll be able to call you by your big-boy name.
Being four years old will be a lot of fun. For instance, you may get to go to pre-school, which SOUNDS like school, but is really just a bunch of playing with fun stuff and new friends. Also, new friends means more birthday parties to be invited to, which means more cake and ice cream. In fact, you may get to average two birthday parties a month!
Unfortunately, all those parties can get pretty expensive when your daddy has to buy presents. Luckily, your daddy will probably just have you give away the junk food and energy drinks that he doesn’t like. Your friends’ parents will LOVE that their kids get junk food and energy drinks! And your friends will love them, too.
Have a great year.
Love,
D.I.G.
(You can still call me Diggie if you want.)
August 9th, 2008 at 7:27 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!
August 9th, 2008 at 7:48 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! You’ve never looked better!
August 9th, 2008 at 7:49 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!!!!! :)
August 9th, 2008 at 8:47 PM
Happy Birthday TIB! I’m a long time fan, keep the reviews coming!
August 9th, 2008 at 8:53 PM
Happy Birthday guys!
August 9th, 2008 at 9:05 PM
Happy Birthday TIB!! This site is the best- lets me know if things are worth the try with such humor. :) Thanks!!
August 9th, 2008 at 9:30 PM
Hau’oli La Hanau TIB!!!
August 9th, 2008 at 10:23 PM
TIB Happy Birthday!!!
*Hopes for the prize to be the tater tots that always come up when I google “Impulse Buy”*
August 9th, 2008 at 10:50 PM
happy birthday, TIB, and fourteen years until you’re legal.
August 10th, 2008 at 12:32 AM
happy 4th birthday TIB!
i had no idea you were so grown up already! now you can switch from the car seat to the booster seat! yay!
August 10th, 2008 at 1:23 AM
Happy Birthday! Thanks for providing good foodie reading for 4 years!
August 10th, 2008 at 2:18 AM
Happiest of Returns on your Day of mental Conception TIB! Its been a great ride thus far and it only gets better! …or is that more constipated. Eather way, its been a real slice.
August 10th, 2008 at 2:28 AM
Happy Birthday TIB. You’re not getting older, you’re getting better.
August 10th, 2008 at 2:39 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!
You’re a really cool blog with nice articles and always fun to read.
August 10th, 2008 at 2:49 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!! May you have many more.
August 10th, 2008 at 3:09 AM
Happy Birthday TIB! i found this site a few months ago and read through it in one night. i laughed, i cried.. oh TIB, where would i be without you? probably outside, actually having a life but nevermind, i don’t blame you for domesticating me.
keep it up!
August 10th, 2008 at 3:30 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!
I can’t say how many hours I’ve spent picking through the archives since I found this site ages ago.
August 10th, 2008 at 3:34 AM
happy birthday TIB
August 10th, 2008 at 3:34 AM
Happy Birthday TIB.
Keep up the good work.
August 10th, 2008 at 3:40 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! :) I love your site!
August 10th, 2008 at 3:43 AM
Happy Birthday, TIB! I hope the mystery boxes are flammable.
August 10th, 2008 at 3:53 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! Thanks for daring to sample the stuff I never would.
August 10th, 2008 at 3:58 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!
August 10th, 2008 at 4:22 AM
Happy Birthday TIB! Hope you have many, many more!
August 10th, 2008 at 4:33 AM
Happy Birthday TIB! What better way to celebrate than by giving me free stuff!
August 10th, 2008 at 4:38 AM
Happy Birthday TIB! Thanks for the years of turning me onto things I would have never known existed and/or would have never tried without your snarky reviews!
August 10th, 2008 at 5:16 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!
Without you the world would be boring!
August 10th, 2008 at 5:17 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!
Sorry I left your gift in the car.
August 10th, 2008 at 5:31 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!
Hey Marvo, did you ever potty train it?
August 10th, 2008 at 5:37 AM
Happy Birthday TIB !!
Now come to daddy’s lap for a spanking
August 10th, 2008 at 6:15 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!
August 10th, 2008 at 6:30 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!
August 10th, 2008 at 6:42 AM
Happy birthday guys,
TIB for President!
August 10th, 2008 at 7:05 AM
Happy Birthday TIB! So many years, so many memories of my family seeing me read the site and thinking I’m a fat ass because I’m reading about hot pockets, random Taco Bell products, McDonald’s desserts, and Pop tarts…..And then their general confusion at me watching a video of a man being waxed. Good times, my friend, good times.
August 10th, 2008 at 7:15 AM
Happy Birthday, TIB!
August 10th, 2008 at 7:18 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! May you continue to bring hilarious reviews to bored housewives with nothing better to do than read the posts on your site.
August 10th, 2008 at 7:31 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!!! I Love this site!
August 10th, 2008 at 7:35 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! Best blog ever!
August 10th, 2008 at 7:41 AM
Happy Birthday TIB! You make me laugh each and everyday! I think that it’d be awesome if you had a brother or a sister, but you gotta wait til Papa is ready. Have a great bday kiddo!
August 10th, 2008 at 7:42 AM
happy birthday!!
August 10th, 2008 at 8:14 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!
Love the reviews!
August 10th, 2008 at 8:32 AM
Happy Birthday TIB
August 10th, 2008 at 9:11 AM
Happy 4th Birthday TIB!!!!
August 10th, 2008 at 9:42 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!!
August 10th, 2008 at 9:45 AM
Happy 4th Birthday TIB.
Keep the awesome reviews coming. You give me the much needed lift while on break from accounting class :)
August 10th, 2008 at 10:14 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!!!
August 10th, 2008 at 10:31 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! I found this blog a couple days ago and it is AWESOME.
August 10th, 2008 at 10:38 AM
Happy Birthday, TIB!!
As a new reader, I’m hooked. You’re the cutest little blog out there!
August 10th, 2008 at 11:00 AM
HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY The Impulsive BuyI have only known you a few short months and do not comment much, but I promise to be a good friend and stop by more often.
August 10th, 2008 at 11:03 AM
Happy 4th Birthday TIB
August 10th, 2008 at 11:09 AM
happy birthday TIB! you make my long waits at the dentist worthwhile.
August 10th, 2008 at 11:19 AM
Happy Birthday TIB!!! best. site. ever.