Coffee superpower Starbucks has made a significant impact in the world. For some, it’s hard to imagine a world without Starbucks, so for those people I’ll use my imagination to give them an idea of it would be like. Without Starbucks, people wouldn’t spend days of their lives waiting in line for something called a Frappuccino; the term “Starbucks Run” wouldn’t exist, except in Battlestar Galactica; Borders and Barnes & Noble book stores would have more room for books; and we wouldn’t have mediocre iced coffee drinks from fast food restaurants that want to hitch onto the Starbucks coffee train, like the Jack in the Box Caramel Iced Coffee.
Flavored iced coffee was created for people who say they love coffee, but put so much cream and/or sugar in it that it turns the coffee into something that’s culinarily considered a dessert. I expected Jack in the Box to eventually come out with their own take on iced coffee, since both McDonald’s and Burger King each introduced an iced coffee within the past year.
It’s like these three fast food establishments are playing a game with consumers called Fat Fuck that involves one of them introducing a product and the others coming up with a variation of it, hoping that patrons will try all of them and choose the better one, which in turn causes the consumer to eat fast food more than they should, turning them into a fat fuck. It’s like the opposite of The Biggest Loser.
The Jack in the Box Caramel Iced Coffee, made from a blend of French roast coffee, had probably the least amount of caramel flavor legally possible before you can’t call it “caramel,” because I could hardly taste it. That lack of flavor made the beverage significantly more bitter than sweet, so it tasted pretty much like a normal iced coffee, which is another flavor Jack in the Box offers, along with vanilla. I tried the caramel one at two different Jack in the Box locations and both of them had an extremely light caramel flavor. Perhaps the only item that stands out about the Jack in the Box Caramel Iced Coffee is its inexpensive price, which makes Starbucks look like Neiman Marcus.
(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces – 90 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 250 milligrams of potassium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and one more fast food chain trying to hitch onto the Starbucks train.)
(Editor’s Note: Thanks to TIB reader Molly for suggesting to subject my taste buds to this mediocre iced coffee.)
Item: Jack in the Box Caramel Iced Coffee
Price: $2.19 ($1.69 at most other JITB)
Size: 16 ounces
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Inexpensive. Low fat. It’s cold. Ice cubes. 90 calories for 16 ounces. It comes in a cup. Putting it on my nipples will give me a wonderful sensation.
Cons: Extremely light caramel flavor. Not for those who like their iced coffee to be more sweet than bitter. The efforts of fast food companies to hitch a ride on the Starbucks train. Playing Fat Fuck. The word Frappuccino.
Have you tried the JITB coffee shakes? I haven’t, but someone said they’re good. Also unhealthy I’m sure, but it would probably taste better than this did.
How did you end up paying more than the retail price?
This is exactly why I switched to tea. You can’t really mess with tea after the initial brew, other than a shot of cream or sugar.
Oh, and you forgot to mention that without starbucks, Zoolander wouldn’t be as funny.
Yeah, I find “flavored” coffees are usually scented coffees. I’m not a huge caramel fan anyway, but when I order something caramel-flavored I want to taste caramel, darn it!
This is also why Starbucks can charge $3+ for their drinks- because anyone else who tries to make them suck at it. And no, I’m not a Starbucks shill.
Sounds like Dunkin Donuts iced coffee is still the way to go
I love Starbucks iced coffee-but only the regular stuff in little glass bottles. Sadly we still can’t buy it here in Britain.
Great blog!
Les
Why so many JITB reviews lately?
Gross!
The only time coffee should have both cream AND sugar (preferably freshly whipped cream and brown sugar) is when it’s an Irish Coffee.
Ooh! Irish coffee. Is it too early for me to break out the Jamesons?
Yes it is too early for you to break out the Jamesons, Baileys, Crown Royal, Captain Morgan, and all that crap you can put in a coffee. But it’s never too early for a Samuel Adams Coffee Stout!
Yeah, speaking of alcohol…Marvo (or Ace), how come you don’t review alcohol? I’m sure there are some quirky stuff you can try.
Im not a real big coffee person but I did try one of these.
It was alright mcdonalds ice coffee is better but what the hell do i know ?
The Fat Fuck gameplan was the funniest thing I have read all week. And possibly true. I do love a conspiracy theory. And to second an earlier poster, why are you paying more at your JITB’s?
Reprobate- too late.
*hiccup*
I’ll take this one, Marvo. Marvo pays more because he lives in Hawaii. They (meaning stores and resturant chains) have to import a lot of food, and since they’re way out there, they need to tack on higher shipping costs. Hence, Marvo’s inflated costs. You think Marvo’s food is expensive? Go live in the boonies in Alaska. They’re up to 6 bucks for a loaf of break and 10ish for a gallon of milk.
“the term “Starbucks Run†wouldn’t exist, except in Battlestar Galactica”
^^every day I love you just a little bit more.
Foofy coffee = no. Black over ice can be awesome on a hot day, but once you start adding a pump of this & a swig of that, you are 100% correct, it’s now dessert.
@Chuck – I’ve tried the Kona Coffee Milkshake and it was alright, but I’d rather have their Oreo shake.
@Kaco – I have to pay the living in Hawaii tax.
@Reprobate – And without Starbucks, most Jamba Juice stores would be so lonely.
@armauld – I wanted it to be so caramel tasting that it would feel like my teeth were about to fall out.
@Nevis – here in Hawaii it’s four dollars and above.
@Joey – I keep hearing that Dunkin’ Donuts is much better than Starbucks. I wish we had a Starbucks here.
@Les – Thanks, Les!
@edman0037 – Why so many JITB reviews? Because all the other fast food restaurants aren’t releasing anything and JITB seems to introduce a new product every month.
@Kylie – No, coffee, cream, and sugar can go together very well, if those are names of strippers.
@Reprobate – I think I’ve reviewed three or four alcoholic beverages. Two were alcoholic energy drinks and the other was a bottle of vodka. I don’t really like to review alcohol, because I’m not much of a drinker.
@Neil – I personally like the Burger King Mocha Joe because it has a strong chocolate taste to it.
@Maria – Thanks, Maria! Sadly, I always seem to find myself in the middle of a game of Fat Fuck. As to why I have to pay more, see Reprobate’s answer below.
@Reprobate – I couldn’t have said it better myself, although I probably would’ve added a stripper joke in there.
@Aimee – Every day I love myself a little bit more too.
What’s with all the Jack in the Box reviews?
I prefer to shop at Borders specifically because they aren’t partnered with Starbucks (they go with Seattle’s Best). In my college town, there is a Barnes and Noble with a Starbucks inside, when you walk out the front door, there is another Starbucks right in front of you (http://www.vimeo.com/1083735).
And one of the hidden costs in Hawaii food prices are stripper for sailors. Sailors are very lonely, and it’s either hire strippers for voyages or enjoy each other’s company. YMCA!
Marvo, there are tons of new Fast Food products you’re missing. I work for Yum! Brands. Let me know which of our restaurants you have near you and I’ll send you some gift checks to try some free product. Each of our sister brands launches new products all the time.
@Natalie – Oh, you just wait. There’s another one coming next week.
@kevin – I’m surprised there isn’t a rip in the time-space continuum in between the two.
@Reprobate – Much better.
@blay-z – That’s okay about the gift checks, but if you can keep me informed about the new products that would be helpful.
coconut flavor iced coffee (or coffeecino or whatever caffeine milkshake thingie) still rules. ask for it at dunkin’s.
@gzuckier – Unfortunately, there are no Dunkin’ Donuts here. I am sad.
“It’s like these three fast food establishments are playing a game with consumers called Fat Fuck that involves one of them introducing a product and the others coming up with a variation of it, hoping that patrons will try all of them and choose the better one, which in turn causes the consumer to eat fast food more than they should, turning them into a fat fuck. It’s like the opposite of The Biggest Loser.”
God that was some comedic genius, I might have to steal this ;-). I am unemployed at the moment, so don’t expect to see the royalties.
When I moved from Los Angeles back to Iowa, I kept saying that I missed all the food there. You have reminded me that I need to edit my response to “I miss all the food EXCEPT Jack in the Box.”
How can anyone possibly screw up iced coffee?
This coffee was watery and not tasty at all. I prefer McDonalds for the fast food iced coffee option, but take Coffee Bean over them all.