Jack in the Box Nacho Cheese Burger

Written by | August 26, 2008

Topics: 7 Rating, Fast Food, Food, Jack in the Box

Dear Jack,

I’ll get straight to the point with this letter. Please stop making new menu items, because I believe Death by Jack in the Box is no way to go. Your big white head that speaks telepathically might say that I have the option to choose between eating and not eating your food, but from a quasi-product review blog editor’s prospective, that’s not an option, because just like flies to shit, the lure of an intriguing new product will always direct me to your drive-thru, such is the case with your Jack in the Box Nacho Cheese Burger.

Please give your R&D people a break. I thought there were only so many things one could do with burgers, but your hard working R&D people have proven me wrong time and time again. They’ve put so many things in between buns that they probably would make the kinkiest gay German porn star blush.

With the influx of new Jack in the Box products recently, like the Hearty Breakfast Bowl, Cheesy Macaroni Bites, and Pita Snacks, it makes me wonder if your R&D department is a perpetual pregnant woman and their vagina has been stretched out so much that new ideas just fall out of them whenever they stand up.

I’m not sure how they conceive your products, and I really don’t want to see an awkward video of the fast food birds and the bees, but I’m kind of glad they gave birth to the very tasty Jack in the Box Nacho Cheese Burger, which is made up of a beef patty topped with a cheddar cheese sauce and sliced jalapenos in between a bun.

The jalapenos gave the burger a nice heat, but not enough to think I might have contracted a burning sensation from a drunken starlet. The cheddar cheese sauce added nicely to the burger’s flavor and was as gooey and as radioactive in color as I would expect. Perhaps the only real negative about the Jack in the Box Nacho Cheese Burger was its size, which I thought was kind of small, but then I remembered that I paid a reasonable buck and a half for one.

With that kind of ringing endorsement of the Jack in the Box Nacho Cheese Burger, you would think I would want more new products to try, but my body can only take so much and I think it’s nearing its limit of Jack in the Box food. So Jack, please cut back. I don’t want a heart attack.

Sincerely yours,

Marvo

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burger – Nutrition facts not available on website or I just couldn’t find them.)

(Editor’s Note: Thanks to TIB reader Jason for recommending the Jack in the Box Nacho Cheese Burger. If anyone else wants to recommend something, please make sure it’s a salad or something that won’t give me high blood pressure.)

Item: Jack in the Box Nacho Cheese Burger
Price: $1.49 ($1.29 everywhere else)
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Very tasty. Jalapenos gave it a good kick, but not too much of a kick. Reasonably priced.
Cons: Kind of small, so it probably won’t make a good lunch by itself. My attraction to new products that are probably bad for me. I couldn’t find nutritional information. Death by Jack in the Box.






18 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Reprobate says:

    It looks almost exactly like the sad squashed miserable thing served at whammyburger’s resturants in the movie Falling Down. Did they have a more spectacular picture of it? Did you consider going nuts and pulling out a mac-10 ever, just to do what michael douglas did?

  2. Neil says:

    Wheres the meat ? Can they make these meat patties any smaller and the buns bigger. Have a nice salad with some chicken instead.

  3. armauld says:

    Yeah, new products will be the death of me, too. We don’t have Jack-In-The-Box here so I’ll just have to live vicariously through your reviews. Thanks for taking a little death for the team, Marvo.

  4. Bunny says:

    I think it has about the same calories (330) as a regular cheese burger. It has a bun, patty, and cheese. The Jalapeños wont have that many extra calories. maybe 5.

  5. Lex says:

    How greasy is it? I can’t eat there because of the amount of grease makes me sick.. wait I lied, I love their spring rolls.. That is the only thing I will eat from there!
    :p

  6. Tiggy says:

    That poor burger looks so sad and pathetic. It looks like it’s weeping cheesy tears.

  7. Chuck says:

    If you’re looking for a salad to review, I like Wendy’s taco salad. I don’t know how healthy it is, though.

  8. Reprobate says:

    Chuck, I think it’s safe to assume it’s not healthy. Kind of like it’s safe to assume Marvo has a kinky side. And that Ace may be Marvo’s evil alter ego. What? People always get the two of them confused.

  9. Stephen says:

    I know they aren’t that great, but after 9PM they are a steal at $1.29 for two!

  10. Marvo says:

    @Reprobate – I’m sorry, I didn’t see the movie Falling Down and I don’t know what a Whammyburger is. I have let you down as a product reviewer and pop culture buff.

    @Neil – You can see a little of the burger underneath the jalapeno on the left and in between the cheese.

    @armauld – But do you have a Hardee’s, because they come out with new burgers pretty frequently and also take some time off of your life.

    @Bunny – I should’ve calculated that way too, but I am lazy…and I can’t add.

    @Lex – It is probably as greasy as anything else you’ve had from there because it’s got frickin’ meat and cheese.

    @Tiggy – Jalapenos can cause crying in some cases.

    @Chuck – I’d hate to burst your bubble, Chuck, but typically taco salads are never healthy. Haven’t you ever heard the Budweiser Real Men of Genius commercial for the taco salad inventor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZvOqYVs2ao

    @Reprobate – I guess because of our slanted writing styles people always think all Asian write alike.

    @Stephen – WHAT?!?! You can get two for the price of one!?! Fuck this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean!

  11. Aimee says:

    Death by JITB, do you think they would make your coffin out of the old styrofoam containers?

  12. Chuck says:

    Marvo, I’m sure that’s true, but at least you get a little bit of fiber and some vegetables along with your artery-hardening chili.

  13. Kath Lockett says:

    Hmm. For such a heartfelt and negative letter, you STILL gave it a seven out of ten!

    Kath
    (we don’t have Jack in a Box in Australia. Thankfully, by the sounds out of it)

  14. Shannon says:

    This is OH MY GOD GROSS! Why would you eat this?

  15. Peachy says:

    When I saw the pic of the burger I laughed my ass off!!!11! It looks so emo. Can it cut itself?

  16. MintWrecker says:

    arteries be damned i want one too

  17. Marvo says:

    @Aimee – I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure they would deep fry me.

    @Chuck – And more gas than Walter the Farting Dog.

    @Kath Lockett – I’m passive/aggressive like that.

    @Shannon – Because you won’t eat it.

    @Peachy – I don’t know if it cut itself. I didn’t check under the bun.

    @MintWrecker – Well that’s what blood thinners were made for, I guess.

  18. Laura says:

    you must try the mac n’ cheese bites. I almost shit myself with delight.