Genuine Broaster Chicken

Fried chicken has always been like a hot booty call: ready and satisfying any time I had the urge, but bad for me and probably more dangerous and full of chemicals than I’d like to admit. This is why my first taste of the healthier Broaster Chicken was the culinary equivalent of finding Jesus in a tortilla. Questions came flooding down the previously frozen glacier of my head: Where has this been all my life? Why didn’t anyone tell me about this? Is this all a dream?

Thankfully, I wasn’t in a bad 80’s sitcom and the chicken was in fact real. Broasted chicken, as I am told by their website, is pressure-cooked with some secret method using a secret marinade which cuts the fat nearly in half while retaining the meat’s moisture. I still don’t understand how they got the word “broasted” from a method of pressure frying, but I’ve gone far beyond the point of caring.

If I sound like a corporate shill, it’s because I want to run into every KFC and start violently shaking people by their shirts as I screamed obscenities at them. KFC is no doubt delicious, but it pales in comparison to this magical chicken that I consumed. The crispy and light skin was topped with delectable cajun spices. The best part is that a patting with a napkin yielded no grease spots. If I ever saw a dieter throwing the skin away, I would almost certainly have to run and tackle the person.

Inside the first piece was the juiciest breast meat ever, which seems almost oxymoronic by typical fried chicken standards. The other piece of chicken was the best use of a thigh since gymnast Shawn Johnson used her running back-like legs to win gold during the Olympics.

Sold in select delis and restaurants around the nation, I’m assuming that the quality of Genuine Broaster Chicken may vary. If done right, as with this Huckleberry’s location in Orange County, it should come to you cooked to order with a Korean lady warning you that the chicken is still hot. She will offer you hot sauce, but you decline, already anticipating the natural flavors of this miracle bird.

It is at this point that you will embrace the majesty of your lips caressing the chicken. And in this moment of ecstasy you will think of me. This will probably be very confusing for you until you take your next bite and go on for the rest of the meal without a care in the world.

(Nutritional Facts – 1 breast – 315 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 139 mg of cholesterol, 1360mg sodium, 5 grams of carbs, and 43 grams of protein)

Item: Genuine Broaster Chicken
Price: $5.99 (2-piece combo)
Purchased at: Huckleberry’s Sandwiches and Chicken (check store locator at Broaster.com)
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Less fat than regular fried chicken. Breast meat is actually very moist. Skin is not greasy at all and well-flavored with cajun seasonings. Skin is light yet very crispy.
Cons: I’m assuming that quality may vary depending on the location. Getting tasered for shaking people at your local KFC. Thinking of me during your moment of ecstasy.

24 thoughts on “Genuine Broaster Chicken

  1. it’s too bad I can’t find that chicken over here… it looks delicious. and broaster? Maybe it’s cooked with a broiled-type method?

  2. Wow, the first 10/10 I’ve seen on TIB. I’m going to have to look for this stuff. It might be hard to find around here, healthy food is considered an oxymoron in the South…

  3. we have a huckleberry’s too (in northwest montana). same chain. i’ve had the broasted chicken. it was really good, but i still couldn’t eat the skin. and my husband who claims to like turkey but not chicken, said this was the best chicken breast he’s ever had. i thought it tasted like really good rotisserie chicken. very moist and flavorful. i still like those unnaturally creamy mashed potatoes from kfc…..

  4. Broiled and Roasted, annie. Braised is a moist low heat cooking method that takes place over hours and hours. Broil is a high heat method, as is roasting.

    And it does look fantastic. If that is not a stock photo. I will go out tomorrow after work to seek out this chicken of yours. Luckily, I have 99 locations within 30 miles of my zip code. Huzzah!

    By the by…I love fried chicken too. Once or twice a week, I indulge and buy 4 thighs at 89 cents each at a gourmet market. Delicious.

  5. Oh, and I thought it was a Kenny Rogers Roasters until I looked it up. You almost sounded like Marvo or Jerry Seinfeld.

  6. That sounds heavenly. I’m currently… enjoying the ramen diet, so seeing this just makes my pain more severe; I came here to lose my appetite, dammit. Marvo didn’t let me down, but you, Ace… You hit me where it hurts.

    …Anyway. Am the only one who’s noticed that price for two pieces? That bird better make me want to march into the kitchen and kiss the cook for six bucks.

  7. Ace, you should consider employment as a corporate shill. I`m in the middle of eating spaghetti and you have my mouth watering for chicken. You have a magical career in advertising ahead of you.

  8. Marvo – May this new path in your life lead you to happiness and fulfillment.

    FatYoli – ME TOO. In fact, I’m going back tomorrow.

    Alisha – I know it’s not broiled(it’s pressure-fried), so that rules that out. And I’m sorry there’s no locations near you, there’s like 10 within a 30 mile radius of me. I would trade you some if I could.

    MCW – Multiple breasts restaurant? Is Hooters going to start selling fried chicken?

    Chuck – It’s still technically fried so I’m sure you’ll be able to find it somewhere.

    mastermind – Thanks, this is actually a very nice change of pace from the “most repulsive thing ever” comments I usually get.

    amy – I like these broasted potatoes, but I agree, something about those reconstituted potato flakes and gravy hits the spot.

    annie – Maybe you’re right. I guess steam+fry doesn’t come out to be a catchy name.

    Reprobate – TIB never uses stock photos, no matter how weird it makes us look in public!

    Mia – It’s two pieces, broasted potatoes(kind of like a cross between a potato wedge and a baked potato), a side, a roll, and a drink. It’s actually a good value.

    armauld – I do watch Mad Men…and if my life can devolve into an endless cycle of drinking and womanizing, maybe I really should look into advertising.

  9. ooh first perfect 10. just like mary lou retton. unfortunately im vegetarian, so i wont be partaking in this.

  10. I think it does very greatly by location. My local restaurant that sells broasted chicken is TERRIBLE. Like, as in 1/10. There was nothing moist about it. It was dry and extremely greasy. Go figure.

  11. ace you’ve gotta help me
    there are no locations within thirty miles for this chicken you praise of.
    NO
    LOCATIONS

  12. Yikes! All that greasy food! Ew indeed!

    But I should say it’s been fun reading about it. Now I voted for you at BOTB. Hope you win!

  13. For some reason, this place dosent sound all that great to me…
    1. MUCKY DUCK RESTAURANT & LOUNGE (18.1 miles)
    19559 VIKING AVENUE SUITE 100
    POULSBO WA 98370
    Phone: 360-779-2202
    Type of Location: Restaurant

    I feel dirty just thinking about it.

  14. I think it is pressure-fried with spices… but no batter. Which would keep it from being greasy. Yummy!
    ——————————————————–
    @-laura
    September 1st, 2008 at 5:13 pm
    why is it sold like that, in different restaurants? how strange————————–

    Unique and Interesting Facts

    The company’s signature product, is marketed via a no-cost licensing arrangement with Broaster operators, rather than as a franchise. To be a Broaster Trademark operator, an operator must cook the product in a Broaster Company manufactured pressure fryer using Broaster’s proprietary marinades and seasonings, follow prescribed preparation instructions, and sign a trademark license agreement. There are no ongoing fees such as associated with food franchises – operators control and keep their profits.

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