Oscar Mayer Lunchables Grilled Chicken Wrapz

There’s a nine-year-old out there who thinks the Oscar Mayer Lunchables Grilled Chicken Wrapz is the greatest muthafucking thing ever. Okay, if that nine-year-old was a drunken sailor, then they would probably think that, but I don’t totally agree with that rum-filled, foul-mouthed kid.

This kid-sized meal consisted of wheat tortillas, grilled chicken breasts, ranch sauce, and mild taco sauce for two wrapz. It also included a fun-sized Nestle Crunch bar and the greatness beverage in pouch form EVER, a fruit punch Capri Sun. Out of all the things that were included, I was the most excited about the Capri Sun, because I enjoy products from the 1980s, I get to stab something with a plastic straw and not get arrested for it, and there’s only one Capri Sun. It’s great tasting fun when you punch open one.

The Capri Sun was the most exciting thing about this Lunchables, but the grilled chicken wrapz were the main entree. With most Lunchables that contain chicken, it isn’t required to heat the chicken before eating since it is already pre-cooked. If I were a parent feeding it to my child, the cold chicken would probably bother me, but as a thirtysomething-year-old male without children who is hungry, it doesn’t really bother me at all. A degree from the Universidad de Taco Bell isn’t necessary to put a wrap together. All you do is lay out the tortilla, spread out some chicken, squirt some ranch sauce, drizzle some taco sauce, roll it up, and then hope some schoolyard bully doesn’t threaten you for it before you eat it.

The tortilla was a little tough since it’s been refrigerated, and again, it was a little weird eating cold chicken, but overall the chicken wrap was decent because who knew that ranch sauce combined with taco sauce would taste surprisingly good. It’s definitely better than most FDA regulated school lunches and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich your mom made with love and kindness.

Since it is a meal made for kids you might be wondering whether or not it could fill up an adult who doesn’t mind the shame of eating a Lunchables. If you’re on the smaller side, this Lunchables might be filling, but if you’re Michael Phelps, you’re probably going to need to eat ten of them.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 390 calories, 10 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 50 milligrams cholesterol, 750 milligrams sodium, 56 grams carbohydrates, 1 gram dietary fiber, 25 grams sugar, 19 grams protein, 0% vitamin A, 50% calcium, 4% vitamin C, and 15% iron.)

Item: Oscar Mayer Lunchables Grilled Chicken Wrapz
Price: $3.49
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Better than most FDA regulated school lunches. Good source of protein. Fruit punch Capri Sun. Easy to put together. Combination of ranch sauce and taco sauce was surprisingly good. Fun-sized Nestle Crunch Bar. Products from the 1980s that are still here today.
Cons: Good source of sodium. Tortillas were a little tough. It’s weird eating cold chicken. Not filling for Michael Phelps. Drunk nine-year-olds. Stabbing people with plastic straws and getting arrested for it. Replacing plural S’s with Z’s.

22 thoughts on “Oscar Mayer Lunchables Grilled Chicken Wrapz

  1. how does the star wars “mini poster” on the back work, do you cut the back off the box and hang it on the wall? oh also, be careful with the straw or you’ll shoot, i mean poke, your eye out…

  2. I haven’t had a lunchable in at least 8 years. This post made me feel vaguely nostlagic for them, but upon further consideration, they’re probably not as great as I remember. We didn’t get them often as kids, they were expensive according to my mother, but my grandmother would buy them for me when I went to visit her.

    The pizza kind were the best. I will fight anyone that says otherwise.

  3. I usually get the kind with crackers, cheese, and ham or turkey. This one looks about equally edible. I never did care much for Capri Sun, though.

  4. My neice loves these things and she loves the cold hotdog ones too I cant even dream of eating cold hotdogs. But kids dont know good homemade food anymore its all fast food now. GET OUT AND VOTE !!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Great review Marvo.

    This reminded me… my nephew stayed with me for a couple weeks earlier this year. He loves lunchables and insised on eating them, but he never drank the Capri Sun, so I ended up with a refrigerator full of those pouches.

    One night I forgot to pick up orange juice to mix with my vodka… and well, the rest is history. It turns out Capri Sun makes a decent vodka drink. Who knew? Anyway, they didn’t go to waste. I drank every one of those little pouches.

  6. At least they didn’t go the EXTREME or some other similar route. That is so not extreme, dude.

  7. Timothy, you’re not….my first thought was “Where’s the cheese?” I also think my daughter would like sour cream instead of ranch.

  8. I think the Yoda poster is supposed to inspire you to channel the force and use it to assemble your wrap without actually touching it.

    I don’t think Yoda would mind if you stabbed the Capri Sun pouch yourself though.

  9. I loooved this review because it made me think of Michael Phelps wearing those thight, hip-clinging pants that could fall off at any moment and relives some lovely dreams. Thank-you, Marvo.

  10. You should have known it was evil when you realized they were promoting Clone Wars on the packaging! Yarghhhh!!!

  11. Interesting.. I prefer the cheese and crackers with turkey… it comes with a kit kat. I know you can get certain snack packs with the chubby pops. lol
    I never did like the other lunchable options though.. :p

  12. I have to be honest, lunchables were never that great, for me. But I did “enjoy” the cracker ones, and by “enjoy”, I mean, I choked the cold sandwiches down with the meager juice packs. I miss those Capri Sun commercials where you could become the Silver Surfer just by drinking one of them bad boys.

  13. So angry bob jr. can’t take his machete to school, but the other little bastards can bring stabby straws with them every day? You can’t even poke your eye out with a machete. angry bob is going to have a(nother) talk with the school board.

  14. As an old, I was never confronted with Lunchables in my school lunch bag. My mother made sandwiches with love, kindness, and the cheapest lunchmeat or peanut butter available. When times got real tough, she made them with margarine and sugar. No surprise that when I bought lunch in high school, I selected either a chocolate shake so thick you couldn’t suck it through a straw (20 cents), or cherry crisp with a brick of vanilla ice cream (40 cents). Yep, pot was cheap and so was sugar back when I was a young.

  15. fanta’s comment just made me want a joint and whatever “cherry crisp” is real bad.

    i wasn’t allowed to eat lunchables as a kid. something about too much plastic…or salt maybe… who knows. but it was probably a good call by my parents.

  16. @Bryan – Yeah, you just tear it out of the back and go fanboy all over it.

    @Natalie – You should just get one for nostalgia’s sake. They might be even better than you remember.

    @Chuck – WHAT!?! Capri Sun is greatest pouch beverage ever and it is quite possibly the greatest beverage that you have the poke a straw through.

    @Shannon – Yup, it’s going to be worth three dollars and in 10 years.

    @Neil – Ugh… cold hot dogs sound very unappetizing and actually sounds borderline illegal.

    @Timothy – I hope you used the tiny straw that came with it to mix the two. And yes they should’ve added shredded cheese with it.

    @Reprobate – Shhhh!!! You’re just giving them ideas. Dammit, it’s probably too late. There will probably be an extreme Lunchables soon.

    @Kimberly – Sour cream definitely would’ve made a little bit more sense to go along with the taco sauce.

    @armauld – If I could assemble the wrap without touching it and using The Force, I would also use it for evil and undress women with it.

  17. @Nevis – You’re welcome.

    @Heidi – I didn’t watch the movie, so I don’t know how bad it was. And I haven’t seen any of the episodes of the new cartoon, so I don’t how bad that is either.

    @lex – There are a lot of Lunchables options and I only think rich kids with parents who don’t care about them are the only people who have tried them all.

    @Reprobate – Well an anagram of Lunchables is “Blase Lunch” so it’s not surprising that you are not impressed by them.

    @angry bob – Unless Angry Bob Jr.’s school has a metal detector, I don’t see why he can’t bring his machete to school.

    @fanta – Sugar is still cheap, if you steal packs from restaurants.

    @ruth – I wasn’t allowed to drink soda as a kid, but now that I’m an adult, I guzzle it hard. You should do the same with these Lunchables.

    @Mia – But just like sugar, too much love can make one sick.

  18. my kid is now hooked on lunchables thanks to the clone wars advertising. he is a star wars freak! LOL I used to make sandwiches with love, cut them in cute cookie cutter shapes because he doesn’t like the crust. Now I am demoted to throwing a lunchable in his lunch box! I feel so pathetic but I have a lot of free time in the morning. 🙂

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