REVIEW: Kraft Easy Mac with Bacon Cups

Are you tired of being overweight? Are you tired of not having the financial freedom that you want? Are you able to lose weight, but still a broke ass mofo? Are you livin’ large, but also livin’ large?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, the FLIMFLAM Plan might be right for you. The Financial and Loot Increase Mixed with Fat Loss thru Accurate Manipulation Plan is not just a weight loss strategy and it’s not just a economic program — it’s a lifestyle change that gives you the body of a supermodel with enough money to buy the superficial things that you deserve.

Do you wish to be skinny enough that no prison cell can hold you and have enough money to bribe people? Would you like to have the ability to hide your entire body behind a lamp post or a telephone pole and buy a five gallon tub of mustard just because you can?

If you replied with a “yes” to any of these questions, the FLIMFLAM Plan is what you need to turn your body skinny and your wallet fat. Some of you might be saying to yourself that the FLIMFLAM Plan sounds difficult and there’s probably many steps, but it has only one step and that step kills two birds with one stone. We leave the multi-step plans with the alcoholics and sex addicts.

How much would you expect to pay for a program like this? Thousands of dollars? Hundreds of dollars? What if I told you that for about five dollars a day you can get the body that you want with the financial security that you deserve? You’d probably say I’m crazy, but you know what’s crazy? Wasting five dollars a day on a Starbucks coffee or spending five dollars to feed an entire Ethiopian village for a year. With that five dollars, you can some closer to looking like an Olsen twin and have a fraction of the fortune they have.

The secret of the FLIMFLAM Plan is its one step, which is to eat only one Kraft Easy Mac with Bacon Cup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Its inexpensive price will give you the money you need to buy whatever impulsive purchase you want and its small portion will help you lose the extra weight, and probably muscle, that you don’t want.

The Kraft Easy Mac with Bacon Cup is quick and easy to make. All you need to do is fill the cup with water to the fill-line in the cup, microwave it for three and a half minutes, and mix in the powdered cheese sauce. The FLIMFLAM Plan not only saves you money and helps you lose weight, it also gives you more time to spend with your family, friends, WoW guild, or that special someone you don’t want your significant other to find out about.

The powered cheese sauce contains the bacon bits, but once it’s stirred with the macaroni, it’s difficult to see any. It’s like trying to find Waldo or Tila Tequila at a troll convention. It’s only when you take a bite of it that you’ll notice the tiny bits of bacon, which adds a very slight smokey flavor to the feast of cheese and perfectly cooked macaroni. The very slight smokey flavor did help the cheese sauce which was a bit watered down and not as strong as I hoped, but the Kraft Easy Mac with Bacon Cup tasted as well as I expected it to taste.

So what are you waiting for? If you want to save money and lose weight at the same time, order the FLIMFLAM Plan today!

(Fine Print: FLIMFLAM Plan is not recommended by the FDA. Side effects may include malnourishment, high blood pressure, a nauseating feeling when around cheese, a nauseating feeling when around macaroni, messy microwaves, and an urge to sing the Oscar Mayer song.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 220 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of dietary fiber, 5 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, 0% Vitamin A, 0% Vitamin C, 6% Calcium, 8% Iron, and 10 grams of almost instant satisfaction.)

Item: Kraft Easy Mac with Bacon Cups
Price: $1.29
Size: 2.05 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent tasting. Quick and easy to make. Inexpensive. Being able to buy five gallons of mustard because you can.
Cons: Small portion. Cheese sauce was not as strong as I hoped. Bacon bits were small tiny. Sodium is high for something so small. Doing the FLIMFLAM Plan.

18 thoughts on “REVIEW: Kraft Easy Mac with Bacon Cups

  1. I have a complaint – there’s too much bacon in these cups. I would like to reduce the amount of bacon by perhaps 1/2 to 2/3. The bacobits are just too large as well. I would also like them to be penis-shaped. Please send me a free coupon for another kraft easy mac with bacon when you’ve fixed these problems. thank you, Edith, 70 year old grandma in Hicksville.

  2. OMG! Bacon & Mac n’ Cheese?!? Together at last? It’s as if someone has been reading my diary of most embarrassing desires.
    This my friends is a bona fide x-mas miracle! Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!

  3. The idea of bacon and mac and cheese is just odd to me. It’s not something I ever would have thought of in my wildest dreams. It’s intriguing.

    Speaking of, have you reviews the bacon chocolate bar? If not, you should do so.

  4. OMG! I had the bacon chocolate bar! I got it at Whole Foods…

    It was actually good. Delicious and smokey. I would rather eat it than a normal Hershey Bar or something…

  5. @gina – Eww.

    @Kimberley – That sounds good. I think I shall try that soon.

    @Chuck – Well then, let me introduce you to the Bacon Diet. Learn how to lose weight by eating only bacon. You can also save money by buying your own pig. So the bacon diet can help you shed unwanted pounds AND give you the financial freedom you deserve. Or you can buy Reduced For Quick Sale bacon and enjoy even more savings.

    @Heidi – Someone, I don’t know who, but someone out there is willing to do this. His name may start with an “M” and end with an “arvo.”

    @lex – Ew.

    @Bryan
    Dear Edith,

    Thank you for your email. We appreciate any feedback our consumers are will to give us and your comments will be examined by the right people and filed accordingly. Enclosed is a coupon for your troubles. It expires 11/30/2008, so please use it quickly. This letter was mailed to you on 11/20/2008, so to ensure you get this coupon in a timely manner, we have sent it via the Pony Express.

    Once again, thank you for your email.

    Customer Service

    @She Ra – Ahem…(flip page) (reading) I can’t believe this happened to me. Out of all the days in the world, why did it have to be today? I don’t think I can face my family anymore. I think I shall stay in my room and draw pictures of Spongebob.

    @Natalie – Someone also asked me to review it because it surprisingly good, but I didn’t know where to get it until I read Hunter’s comment below. Off to Whole Foods I go.

    @Hunter – Thanks for letting me know where I can get the bacon chocolate bar. I’ve been wanting to try it for a while now.

  6. I don’t think I will ever participate in the FlimFlam diet…but, I wish you the best of luck…and thank you for making me laugh out loud at the office! Hysterical!

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