NEWS: Pizza Hut’s New Lasagna Looks to Exacerbate Garfield the Cat’s Weight Problem

Whenever I look over a Garfield comic strip, I wonder two things: How should I strangle myself if they release a third Garfield movie and what are those dark lines on Garfield, stripes or stretch marks?

If they’re stretch marks, they’re about to get wider thanks to Pizza Hut’s new Tuscani Lasagna. I haven’t tried any of the other Tuscani Pasta dishes, but I’ve heard they’re pretty tasty. I guess I’ve been hesitant because I’m afraid their pastas might be as greasy as their pizzas, which sometimes makes the area around my mouth look like I made out with a penny whore. (Note: It’s totally not worth the penny when you consider the cost of the penicillin you have to take after.) The nutrition values weren’t on the Pizza Hut website, but if it’s like any of the other Tuscani Pastas it will have around 500-ish calories, 25-ish grams of fat, 10-ish grams of saturated fat, and 1000-ish milligrams of sodium per serving. For $14.99, you’ll get over three pounds of the Tuscani Lasagna and five breadsticks.

18 thoughts to “NEWS: Pizza Hut’s New Lasagna Looks to Exacerbate Garfield the Cat’s Weight Problem”

  1. I haven’t tried any of their pastas yet, but I did try their Hot Wings recently, which was surprisingly really good. Very moist and tender inside, with a tasty, spicy sauce lightly coating it.

    I didn’t really think it matched while being eaten with the pizza though. Maybe perhaps only if you’re drunk.

  2. New pizza hut lasanga is very good. Meaty yum. Not too greasy. A little bit of grease left on the bottom of the pan. Taste homemade. Needs more riccotta though.

  3. I just ordered pizza from Pizza Hut yesterday and, while on hold, they mentioned the lasagna was $18.99 here in Hawaii. Since it was only a little over 20% more than the mainland, I guess that’s better than the usual gouging we get. I’ve noticed most of the time franchise restaurant prices are between 30 to 40 percent higher in Hawaii.

  4. @Mike – My life has been full of serious gastrointestinal distress, so this is right up my alley…or colon.

    @Bryan Price – And people who are afraid of cheese.

    @Bunny – But can you deliver it to my door within 45 minutes.

    @Pomai – I guess Pizza Hut wants to be THE place to get gametime grub.

    @JJ – Boom! I just did.

    @Chuck – but we still have to deal with Jon Arbuckle’s sad, pathetic life.

    @Heidi – but again can you deliver it to all of our doors within 45 minutes. Except the homeless people, because they probably don’t have doors.

    @neil – Would you like some Alka Seltzer?

    @Joe c – I’m glad you were able to try it. Hopefully, I can scrounge up the money to buy a pan.

    @Molly – Bah! For that price, I don’t even want to give the delivery person a tip, monetary or motivational.

  5. That’s true — I probably could if I lived in Hawaii (and those other places Ace and Reprobate live), but can Pizza Hut in California deliver to your place in 45 minutes!?!? Pizza Hut, I challenge you!

  6. I don’t know if Pizza Hut is pulling a bait and switch but the lasagna at our local PH looks nothing like the one in the ads and tastes even worse. We got a “lasagna” that was not as thick as a pizza and was dry and burned. I for one am getting quite tired of the point of purchase ads that all fast food places use and have nothing to do with the food you get.

  7. Oh yeah I forgot…three pounds?….yeah right….maybe a little over one pound….but they did have sliced up pizza dough in a bag called breadsticks.

  8. you have a gift for similes, my friend.

    “I guess I’ve been hesitant because I’m afraid their pastas might be as greasy as their pizzas, which sometimes makes the area around my mouth look like I made out with a penny whore. “

  9. Good enough for real Italians?This lazagna is a joke! I could make my own for less(handmade cheese,handmade pasta,fresh ragu not from the bottle,fresh herbs) and twice the size. If pizza hut wants to test their lazagna they need to go to new york or new jersey or boston,any other american italian community for that matter. theyd probably get stuck for trying to pass it off as traditional,but at least itd be a real test. they say they went to rome in the ad. Its not a traditional roman dish! it comes from bolognia! Try that crap there! Theyd have a whole village after them! Seriously if you want premade flash frozen lazaga go to your supermarket and get a schwanns or one comparable and it will do the trick. Otherwise learn to make your own. The idea of traditional secret recepies is the simplicity. even with dried pastas and store bought cheeses(no parm in a tube please) you will still get an infinitely better product than some zit faced kid working his after school job can unwrap and stick in a conveyer oven.

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