REVIEW: Honey Kix

Kix has always been one of those cereals that have puzzled me. It’s one of those cereals that makes me wonder why it’s still on store shelves because, frankly, it’s as tasty as a wet hobo’s home. I used to think that way about Rice Krispies too, but then realized that its production is probably still going thanks to people who makes homemade Rice Krispies Treats and those who use it to absorb liquid spills.

My dislike for regular Kix was the reason why I was skeptical about the new Honey Kix. It would take a lot for me to like Kix and adding honey might not be enough to do it because you can put a sheep’s clothing on a wolf and it’s still a wolf and you can put a beard on Spencer Pratt and he’s still an asshole. What also made me pessimistic about Honey Kix was the fact that, just like the original Kix, it’s “Kid-Tested, Mother-Approved.”

“Kid-Tested” is such a vague term. Sure, they gave it to kids and they might’ve all hated it or they might’ve all loved it, but there’s no way to know what those children were thinking with the open-ended phrase, “Kid-Tested.” At one point, kids might’ve liked Kix, perhaps back in 1937, when it was introduced. But, of course, kids would like it back then because they didn’t have much of a choice. There wasn’t enough variety to have a cereal aisle. It was just a cereal corner.

What I want to know is, how often do they do these tests?

I hope they do it often because kids likes and dislikes are so fickle. If they need someone to do more tests, I could do it because I understand the basics of experimentation thanks to college chemistry and watching Mythbusters. All I need is a kid to be a control subject who eats only Kix and a bunch of other kids to be subjects that aren’t controls who will be eating cereals that will make the control subject jealous. Although, now that I think about it, it will be difficult to do this testing since I’m pretty sure having a 33-year-old man entice children to his “laboratory” with promises of delicious cereal is illegal in most, if not all, countries.

I ended up using myself as a test subject with the Honey Kix. The first thing I noticed about the latest Kix is that it’s much more yellow in color than regular Kix. Then I noticed it stayed crunchy in milk for a decent amount of time. Its taste was definitely sweeter than original Kix and it had a slight honey flavor that made the cereal sort of taste like Cookie Crisp, except without the chocolate. But it’s flavor won’t satisfy those who love their sugary cereals that either come with marshmallows or colors that don’t occur in nature.

After all my experiments, I’ve come to the conclusion that Honey Kix is better than original Kix. So consider it, “Marvo-Tested, Marvo-Approved!”

(Nutrition Facts – 1.25 cups – 120 calories, 1 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 70 milligrams of potassium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 19 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and lots of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Honey Kix
Price: $5.99
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Foodland
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Sweeter than original Kix. Sort of tastes like Cookie Crisp without the chocolate. Provides 16 grams of whole grain. No high fructose corn syrup. 3 grams of dietary fiber. A bunch of vitamins and minerals. No artificial flavors or preservatives. Mythbusters. Using Rice Krispies to absorb liquids.
Cons: Taste won’t satisfy those who love sugary cereals. “Kid-Tested” is vague term. Enticing children to a “laboratory” with promises of delicious cereal. The asshole-ness of Spencer Pratt. The fickleness of children.

24 thoughts to “REVIEW: Honey Kix”

  1. I think things like Kix and Rice Krispies are more about texture than taste, and kids like bland food more than adults. As we get on in years, our sense of taste gets weaker so we want stronger stuff. By the time we’re ready for dentures, we’ll be eating wasabi paste right out of the tubes it’s sold in. 😉

  2. hi, first time commenter here.
    i kind of feel this way about chex.
    oddly, i enjoy shredded wheat.
    when we’re seniors we won’t be eating wasabi, ’cause we’ll be eating all-bran.
    but in my opinion, marvo needs all-bran already.

  3. I can’t count the number of munchies-induced boxes of Kix I consumed in college. They are sweet for 2 seconds, then they turn into the grainy flavor. Which is why you have to eat more. MORE KIX NOM NOM NOM.

  4. I believe my brother chocked on kix when he was six or seven my dad turned him upside down and milk dripped on my new socks my brother was ok and my dad was a hero
    i still ate kix but my brother never did. I believe he changed to frosted flakes

  5. I’m a sucker for anything new that comes out with cereal, soda or candy…I just buy it up! I’m one of the weirdos who likes regular Kix (oh noes!) and so Honey Kix was a thumbs up since it certainly does taste better than the regular – though my all time fav will always be Lucky Charms. Those marshmallows are something magical.

  6. Honey Kix aren’t bad but you’re right they definitely don’t satisfy that cereal sweet tooth.

    There are a ton of new cereals – off the top of my head I remember Chocolate Mini Wheats, Honey Nut Mini-Wheats, Cinnamon Honeycomb, and Jumbo Rice Krispies. Might we be seeing some of these reviewed in the near future?

  7. One thing unique about this cereal is that it’s shaped in perfect spheres, not oblong or some other type of circular shape. The only other one I can think of is the smaller-sized TRIX.

    This also brings to mind your recent review on Bolletje Bröd In De Melk Chocola, or as I like to call them, “Wfu’ Perz”.

  8. I actually like Kix, but I rarely buy them. They’re definitely better for snacking out of the box than with milk. As far as “boring” cereals go, plain Cheerios own all. Yum!

  9. Orchid64 – I already eat wasabi straight from the tube when I’m sick. It clears nasal congestion, but I cry like a little boy who fell off of his bicycle.

    @yr momz – I believe this is your 7th comment. Also, I eat cardboard to get my fiber.

    @Red Icculus – NOM NOM NOM

    @Laura – That’s how we roll in paradise.

    @Neil the Hammer – I prefer Frosted Flakes over Kix any day. FF kicks Kix ass to da curb.

    @NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian – Canada is lucky.

    @Zach – But Cocoa Puffs and Trix are bigger than Kix. Unless Kix are on steroids, which cause them to shrink.

    @wine blog – I wish they would add more. Actually, I’d like some frosted Kix.

  10. @yr momz – So was Winger.

    @Bryan – Maybe I should make a shirt that says that and wear it. But then people will see me wear the shirt and I’ll lose my internet anonymity.

    @Heidi – Yes. Yes. I have influence!!!!

    @Heather – Lucky Charms is the shiznit!!!! Will you marry me? Also, Count Chocula is not far behind.

    @Joseph – I just picked up the chocolate mini-wheats, Cinnamon Honeycomb and Hannah Montana cereal.

    @Shannon – Yum-O

    @Pomai – The perfect spheres is kind of creepy, like their handmade or made my aliens, like the pyramids were.

    @Chuck – DAMMIT! I wanted to lead children back to my place and have them test cereal.

    @skibs – Honey Nut Cheerios is my favorite “healthy-ish” cereal.

    @Chuck – It’s only 50 cents per ounce.

  11. So, somehow I have never seen Honey Kix until last week. I bought them, thinking they were some newfangled creation, only to find this old ass thread. Apparently I’m 7 years behind. Anywho, I finally had a bowl and I was impressed. I like regular Kix, but the addition of honey really took them up a few notches in my book. I will be buying them again. If I remember.

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