REVIEW: Post Cinna-Graham Honeycomb

Reporter: Thank you for taking the time to talk with me I’m sure you two are very BUSY.

Bee #1 HA! You exaggerated “busy” because we’re bees. Good one! It’s not like we’ve heard that line thousands of times.

Bee #2: Don’t make me sting you, bitch.

Reporter: I’m sorry. That was my poor attempt to break the ice. I’ve never interviewed bees before. Let’s just move on. What are your thoughts about the scientists in Australia who are giving honeybees, like yourselves, cocaine to see its effects?

Bee #1: What do I think? I think that’s bullshit. Because why do honeybees in Australia get to have all the fun? While they’re getting high, drinking Tooheys and partying with beautiful Aussie scientists, we’re busting our black and yellow butts to build this huge honeycomb for our queen bee and collect pollen from flowers to make honey. To be honest, I’d rather overdose on cocaine than secrete wax from my body for that bitch queen bee.

Reporter: You don’t think giving honeybees liquefied freebase cocaine is a bad thing?

Bee #1: The only thing bad about it is that there aren’t any scientist here with the balls to do it. Besides, what else are they going to give cocaine to? Flies? They’ll buzz around anything. Bees buzz around things that smell good, like flowers, so if bees high from cocaine were to buzz around shit, puke or anything else you humans secrete from your bodies you could determine the cocaine had an effect on us. But for flies, buzzing around that kind of stuff is normal.

Reporter: You don’t think what they’re doing is considered cruelty to insects?

Bee #1: Look, if PETA wants to get naked, paint their bodies black and yellow, and parade themselves in front of us to protest, I’m fine with that because it’s better than looking at our slutty queen bee who goes out and gets nasty with more than a dozen other bees. The only thing I ask is that Pam Anderson doesn’t show up because I’ve seen her naked so many times that she no longer gets my stinger up.

Bee #2: Don’t make me sting you, bitch.

Reporter: Is that all your friend is going to say?

Bee #1: Hey, man! Give my friend a break. He’s got cabin fever. It’s hard working and living in a hive where it’s a total sausagefest and he has to poop out wax for the honeycomb.

Reporter: Too bad you couldn’t just make the honeycomb out of Post Cinna-Graham Honeycomb cereal.

Bee #1: W-w-what’s this Post Cinna-Graham Honeycomb cereal you speak of?

Reporter: It’s a cereal that’s shaped somewhat like the honeycombs you bees make.

Bee #1: So what you’re saying is that there’s a pre-fab way to make the honeycomb that doesn’t involve us shitting out wax? Sign. Me. Up.

Reporter: I don’t think it works that way.

Bee #2: Don’t make me sting you, bitch.

Reporter: It’s a breakfast cereal that we humans eat. Usually, it’s just honey flavored, but this version has a hint of cinnamon and graham crackers. It smells like graham crackers, but when I put a spoonful in my mouth both flavors weren’t very strong. The cinnamon was what I tasted first and then the graham cracker, which was more like a diet graham cracker. It’s not bad, but I was hoping it would be as sweet as the honey you bees produce or like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Bee #1: Great…This has been one depressing interview, man. First, you tell me Australian honeybees get to have cocaine and then you have me believe there’s an easier way to build a honeycomb. What bad thing are you going to tell me next? If both of us sting you, we’re going to die?

Reporter: Um, well yeah…

Bee #1: Well I’m going to go sting a muthafucker and that muthafucker is you!

Bee #2: I’m going to sting you, bitch.

(Nutrition Facts – 1.5 cups – 130 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 15 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and fortified with a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Post Cinna-Graham Honeycomb
Price: $6.49
Size: 14.5 ounces
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent tasting. Smells like graham crackers. Huge ass box for the big ass cereal pieces. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Stays crunch in milk for a decent amount of time.
Cons: Light cinnamon and graham cracker taste. Getting stung by bees. Pooping wax. Cabin fever. Can’t use Honeycomb cereal to help build actual honeycombs. Flies.

10 thoughts to “REVIEW: Post Cinna-Graham Honeycomb”

  1. I think those bees were suicidal, since after a bee stings someone, they die. But hey, pooping out wax for a living probably does get depressing after a while.

  2. Well Chuck, Marvo did tell them they were going to die, but I guess they just didn’t care about life anymore after having their hopes and dreams shattered through the revelations in this review.

    Why are there so many cereals that are reinventing themselves?? What’s next, chocolate fruit loops?

  3. Although I didn’t care for the first movie, if they make a BEE MOVIE II, the producers seriously need to consider adding this interview into the script. Without the “B” and the “F” word of course.

    Marvo, again, highly entertaining! Even better is how knowledgeable you came across about the bee hive biz.

    You obviously love cereal based on how frequent you review them here.

  4. Hmmm I love cereals myself, but I gotta say, I don’t know too mutch about honey flavored cereals they never taste exactly right to me for some reason… that and that bee#2…Don’t make him sting you…bitch!

  5. @Orchid64: There’s no application process. All you have to do is kill the queen bee and you instantly become the queen bee.

    @Chuck: I feel sorry for their wax poop holes.

    @Heidi: Shhhh. Don’t give them ideas! Although, they’re probably working on it. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s introduced by the end of the year.

    @Pomai: I would love to hear Jerry Seinfeld use profanity. I’d pay to hear that.

    @Woodenhand: Honeycomb used to be really good before they used whole grains in it. Actually, most cereals were better when there weren’t whole grains in them.

    @Pomai: OH YEAH! Take that, Michael Phelps! I also gots my own Wheaties cereal box.

    @Shannon: Meh.

  6. Reporter 1 – Neil the hammer is that honey on your pants or are you just glad to see me ?

    Neil the hammer – Im just glad to see you.

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