NEWS: Lean Cuisine Continues To Reproduce At A Rate Greater Than Nadya Suleman

Lean Cuisine frozen meals reproduce at a rate that would cause rabbits to be appalled. The chefs at Lean Cuisine recently helped give birth to four new flavors of their frozen meals that appeal to dieting women, people who can’t boil water and the folks who run frozen/microwaveable food review blogs. The new varieties are:

Sun-Dried Tomato Pesto Chicken – Tender white meat chicken with cavatappi pasta, zucchini, black olives and Parmesan cheese tossed in a sun-dried tomato pesto sauce. (290 calories and 9 grams of fat.)

Pasta Romano with Bacon – Delicate bow tie pasta in a flavorful fire roasted tomato sauce with smoky bacon and topped with Romano cheese. (280 calories and 7 grams of fat.)

Linguine Carbonara Linguine – Pasta with savory bits of bacon, flavorful red and green peppers, peas and basil, all tossed in a creamy Parmesan sauce. (300 calories and 8 grams of fat.)

Beef Chow Fun – Tender strips of beef over bed of flat noodles with snap peas, red peppers and water chestnuts tossed in a sweet and spicy Asian-style sauce. (320 calories and 5 grams of fat.)

All of them should be available now at your local grocery store in the frozen food aisle with the 50-something other Lean Cuisine meals.

7 thoughts on “NEWS: Lean Cuisine Continues To Reproduce At A Rate Greater Than Nadya Suleman

  1. hmmm mabey the chefs at Lean Cusine are still all twiterpaited from valentines day and it’s carried over into the freezer section at the grocery store… plays some romantic music for effect*

  2. I just find it funny that 90% if akk Lean Cuisine meals contain peppers. I’ve yet to understand what peppers provide to a meal.

  3. The octopussy gal lives a few suburbs over from us – I’ve been thinking of going over there and pitching her to represent a new frozen meal. It will be an 8 piece McNugget thingee..

  4. I still say Jack in the Box and Taco Bell reproduces at a much higher rate than Lean Cuisine. Or is the proper term more like “reincarnate”?

    Out of these four flavors, I’d choose the Beef Chow Fun.

  5. Beef chow fun would easily be the grossest of the bunch. In fact I may have to look for it just to try it out. I also wonder what made LC think that bacon goes well in a pasta dish. While the old addage remains true that you can baconify anything, it doesnt always prove to be necessary!

  6. I tried 3 of these when I first saw them a month or two ago.

    Sun-Dried Tomato Pesto Chicken – Disappointing. Bland. Not good.
    Pasta Romano with Bacon – Disappointing. Also bland. Better than the first one.
    Linguine Carbonara Linguine – Pretty good. 7/10
    Beef Chow Fun – Didn’t try it because I’m not a big beef fan, especially in frozen meals

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