REVIEW: Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers

Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers

I’ve been trying to figure out who Burger King, with their BK Burger Shots, and Jack in the Box, with their new Mini Sirloin Burgers, are targeting with their smaller sandwiches.  I don’t think it’s the penny-pinching crowd since the cost, combined mass and nutritional value of the mini burgers are somewhat equivalent to a regular sized burger. After thinking about it for a time equivalent to the time it takes for one to come up with an idea, I came to the conclusion that these mini burgers are meant for babies and their psychotic mothers who want to live vicariously through their child’s successes.

In this day and age of baby pageants, the pressure is on for babies to be their cutsy-woosy-est.  You know what makes a baby cute? Baby fat. Babies with chiseled faces and sculpted abs are just plain creepy. The more fat your baby looks, the cuter they will be.  Chubby cheeks attract pinches from aunts, untranslatable baby babbling from adults and good marks from baby pageant judges.  Maintaining that baby fat is going to take more than anything Gerber can provide in purée form and that’s where these mini burgers come in handy.

The Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers consist of three mini burgers with sirloin patties topped with American cheese, grilled onions and ketchup in between a sweet mini bun. Each burger is roughly 2.5 inches in diameter and 2.5 inches tall, thanks to the quality bun and the thick sirloin patty. Its size is just about right for the mouth and appetite of a baby. A BK Burger Shot is smaller and will fit into a baby’s mouth much better, but the Mini Sirloin Burger definitely looks much more appetizing.

The use of the sirloin patty was a good touch because it gave the burgers a nice slightly peppery taste and more calories, sodium and carbohydrates than the BK Burger Shots, which will help keep babies plump and cute, because a fat happy is a happy baby…that can steal the hearts of judges. The grilled onions in the burger were quite noticeable, which added a nice flavor to go along with the sirloin patty, cheese and ketchup, but will cause bad marks on scorecards if the baby’s bad onion breath isn’t taken care of before the competition.

Overall, I liked the Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers and thought they were much better tasting than the BK Burger Shots. I think the use of sirloin patties made the difference. I also think they are a great way to ensure babies look their cutest for baby pageants. So if you’re a wrong-minded mother who wants to put their young son or daughter (but hopefully daughter, because there aren’t beauty pageants for boys) through a possibly psychologically damaging competition, the Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers are all you need to keep your kid doughy cute.

And if you’re entering a daughter, winning baby pageants can lead to child pageants, then teen pageants, then beauty pageants and then years of therapy and/or a possible pictorial spread in Playboy for your child.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 mini burgers – 748 calories, 29 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1606 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar and 42 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers
Price: $3.99
Size: 3-pack
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Good tasting burgers. Will help keep babies fat and cute. Definitely better than the BK Burger Shots. Just fits into a baby’s mouth. Quality bun. High in protein. Thick sirloin patty. 3 grams of fiber. Winning baby pageants.
Cons: They maybe small in size, but all three burgers combined have a lot of calories, saturated fat, and sodium. Not cost efficient. Pack of three makes it hard to equally share with another person, unless you’re willing to fight over the third burger. Mothers who live vicariously through their children. Losing points for bad baby’ breath. Years of therapy.

19 thoughts on “REVIEW: Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers

  1. I’m shocked at the calorie counts on these. The cynical part of me (which is actually most of me) thinks that the small burgers are to allow them to trick people into thinking they’re eating less by, say, listing nutritional information per tiny burger.

    I’m glad that I don’t actually like any sort of beef and burgers don’t appeal to me. I’m also glad I don’t have a baby to fatten up. ;-)

  2. Hmmm well usually anytime you give a review a score of 7 or more it’s worth investigating, again though I’d like to see all the big burger company’s have a battle royale to end these offbeat burger shenanigans once and for all.

  3. wow thats alot of salt in 3 little burgers. more salt then I get all week, but hey im an old fart. im going to watch Matlock now. THAT IS ALL

  4. Oh Marvo, you haven’t been watching Toddlers & Tiaras. They totally DO have pageants for boys! So fatten ‘em up, mommas!

  5. @Chuck: I think ketchup and mustard would’ve been nice with these burgers. It would’ve been cool if they also put tiny pieces of lettuce and a tomato slice in it.

    @Orchid64: Nothing shocks me anymore when it comes to high calorie counts from fast food fare. I’d be shocked if there was a fast food burger that had less calories than I thought, but that burger would probably be made out of tofu.

    @Woodenhand: I’m all for a fast food mascot battle royale MMA-style.

    @Neil the hammer: Don’t forget to put on your matching white suit.

    @dax: If you put them all together they make a big burger.

    @Heidi: Or a parent who wants to enter her baby triplets into a pageant.

    @Cyn: I’ve seen bits and pieces of Toddlers & Tiaras. If I were to watch more than 5 minutes, I believe a part of my soul get ripped away from me. So if there are pageant for boys, why isn’t there a Mr. Teen USA and Mr. USA pageants. I demand they have a Mr. USA pageant, so that I can attempt to win it and cry hysterically, say “Oh, my God” over and over, and wear a crown. The closest men have come to that involves drag queens.

    @JamieSusan: I’m psychotic? Don’t lump me with the crazy pageant moms. :-)

  6. I would seriously rather just buy one good burger than eat just 3 small ones. Than again Jack N Crack isn’t my fav place to eat. Give me WhatABurger any day!

  7. Regarding something you mentioned early in the review, I’ve noticed a “sliders trend” at a lot of casual and fast food restaurants. I’m thinking that’s where the mini-burger fascination comes in. Why? No idea.

  8. It’s pretty cool how they package them standing sideways in what looks like their standard sized finger foods tray (potato wedges, chicken strips, stuffed jalapenos, etc.). Or is that tray bigger than that?

    I just tried the sliders at The Shack Hawaii Kai. I’ll post a review on it this weekend.

    I’m definitely gonna’ try these JIB sliders. Love burgers this size. Way better than some “why put 3 things inside the bun, when you can pile 30 things in it” monstrosity.

  9. @Shannon: Jack in the Box rules my life and diet.

    @amanda: I wish I had a WhatABurger and a Chick-fil-A.

    @theGrit: A lot of places did bigger burgers (i.e. Burger King, Carl’s Jr. and Hardees, but they can only make the burgers so big, so the logical step is to make smaller burgers.

    @Pomai: I think we should be able to say which toppings we would like on the burger. For example, I would mind an onion ring stuffed inside one of the burgers.

  10. Your assertion that the mini-burger trend is so babies have something to eat is one of the weirder ways of looking at this. Can’t say I agree with you there.

    I’ve loved sliders since I was a kid in the late 80s and BK introduced Burger Buddies. I think that making a memorable dish on such a small canvas is an interesting challenge.

  11. @Adam: That’s okay you don’t agree with me. My mind works in mysterious ways that most human beings can’t comprehend…thanks to paint sniffing.

  12. These burgers are excellent. They are not that small at all. The American people eat to big of portion sizes and that is why so many people are obese. Maybe the companies are trying to come out with smaller portion sizes to eliminate some of this. For instance, my husband and I get a pack and split it. There is no need to overeat as much as these fast food restaurants encourage us to do. I would definitely recommend them. Furthermore, $3.99 is not a bad price. It is hard to buy much of anything anymore for less than a $1.

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