As some of you know, I have a tendency to do things with the sexy, curvy bottles from the eco-friendly personal care and home cleaning product company Method that in all human cases would force me to have to register as a sex offender.
I will admit that I’m a little too friendly with them and I’ve been seeking help for it, but I would’ve never thought I’d find help in the form of a Method product bottle. The Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo is the first Method product that I have no desire to be playful with or to rub gently between my thighs, even though the toy-shaped bottle looks like it has a huge mouth waiting for something huge to fill it.
The bottle is curvy like most Method products, but it’s not a sexy curvy. It’s more like a cute curvy and I don’t feel comfortable fondling something the reminds me of my childhood friend, Totoro. So like Nicorette gum eventually weans people off of cigarettes, this cute, but not sexy bottle is slowly getting rid of my desire to molest other Method bottles.
The Method Kid Squeaky Clean Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 is a tear-free shampoo, conditioner and body wash all wrapped into a bottle that I don’t want to touch in a way that makes it feel uncomfortable. The orange cream colored product inside has a consistency that’s a little more watery than most shampoos and body washes and it also doesn’t lather up as much. It’s 99% natural, hypo-allergenic and it’s never been tested on animals.
Its scent didn’t smell very peachy at first, instead it was a little more tropical, like a pina colada. So if your kid likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. If they’re not into yoga. If they have half-a-brain. If they’d like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape. Then this product is the love that they’ve looked for. Pick it up and escape.
The best part of the Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo is the way it doles out its product. Its dispensing mechanism is on the bottom of the bottle and it doesn’t need a cap, because it has been engineered to have the leak prevention power of well Kegel exercised muscles on steroids. Or a more appropriate way to explain it, since where it’s dispensed is located at the bottom of the toy character-shaped bottle and between its legs, would be to say that it’s like an asshole (and I’m talking anatomical not Christian Bale). This bit of technology, I assume, makes it easier for parents to wash their little children because they don’t have to worry about flipping bottle tops or anything bothersome like that.
If I had a kid, I would probably pick up Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo because I would only need one product to clean my kid, I can use the fun-shaped bottle to entertain him or her, it’s 99% natural, it’s hypo-allergenic and it would help prevent me from fondling the Method hand soap bottle next to the sink.
Item: Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: A body wash, shampoo and conditioner all in one. Nice tropical scent. 99% natural. Hypo-allergenic. Really cool dispensing mechanism. Kegel exercises.
Cons: Doesn’t smell peachy at first. Kind of pricey. Doesn’t lather up very well. Watery than most body washes and shampoos. My problem with fondling Method bottles.