NEWS: Reynolds Wrap Foil From 100% Recycled Aluminum Makes Hats Used To Avert Mind Reading Aliens Eco-Friendly

I’m feeling much better about my attempts to thwart aliens from reading my mind, prevent cell phone waves from reaching my brain and to prohibit Martha Stewart from brainwashing me through the picture radio, thanks to the new Reynolds Wrap Foil from 100% Recycled Aluminum. Now I can use an entire roll of it to make a foil hat and not feel bad when I have to make a new one the next day since the power of the foil hat lasts only 24 hours.

It’s made from post-consumer and post-industrial aluminum, which may include: scraps from industrial cable, automobile components, cookware, gutters, siding, and stadium seats. So perhaps, if you’re lucky, sometime next year you might have a small part of Yankee Stadium or, if you’re unlucky, you might get a little bit of Shea Stadium this year. The Reynolds Wrap Foil from 100% Recycled Aluminum is as clean and safe to use with food as regular Reynolds Wrap Foil made from virgin aluminum.

Even the packaging is made from recycled and eco-friendly materials. It’s available in 50-square-foot rolls in standard strength and 35-square-foot rolls in heavy duty strength, which is the strength of choice for those looking to prevent aliens from reading your mind.

9 thoughts to “NEWS: Reynolds Wrap Foil From 100% Recycled Aluminum Makes Hats Used To Avert Mind Reading Aliens Eco-Friendly”

  1. If you really don’t want aliens reading your mind, angry bob has a heavy duty aluminum bat that will do the trick. It probably isn’t recycled, but nobody will be able to scan your thoughts ever again or double your money back.

  2. I agree with angry bob, lol, seriously though, Seeing products like this upsets me for some unrational reason

  3. I have a friend who made one of these foilhats once when we went to lollapalooza in the 90s. He made an integrated cardboard and aluminum foil hat, as a sunshade. We did not contact any offworlders but we did nearly get dumped headfirst into the portapotty by some drunk fratboy jerks.

  4. @angry bob: If I want to use eco-friendly bats, I prefer wood bats, like the pros use. They decompose much easier and if I need to get rid of it to prevent it from becoming evidence, all I would need is a wood chipper.

    @Woodenhand: But you can recycle the foil to make new foil. It’s the circle of life. ::cue Lion King music::

    @Bryan: stupid drunk fratboy jerks.

  5. Y’know, recycled aluminum is a lot cheaper than newly-refined aluminum. I bet those bitches have been using mostly recycled aluminum for years, and are just now trying to capitalize on this eco-trend to jack up the price.

  6. Aluminum just needs a good wiping. Burn the cloth and voila – no evidence. And you can reuse it. Reuse, recycle, recidivism. It’s all good.

  7. I think that if you put the Foil Hat into the sun for two hours it recharges, but it has a limited reuse like rechargeable batteries so you can only do it so many times.

  8. @anna: I don’t know if this foil is more expensive, but if it is, I’m going to be upset while I put on my foil hat.

    @angry bob: No evidence? I like that.

    @Danielle: Yes, we do.

    @Nok: No, I like mine fresh because with recharging I don’t know how long it will last, but with a fresh one I do know.

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