REVIEW: Carl’s Jr. Big Carl

Carl’s Jr. and McDonald’s need to stop the bickering. Okay, mostly Carl’s Jr.

So what if McDonald’s came out with burgers that uses Angus beef and Carl’s Jr. came out with their version of the Big Mac, called the Big Carl. Can’t they just get along because I’d hate to see this turn violent? I believe we lost Biggie and Tupac this way.

I love McDonald’s french fries and I love Carl’s Jr. burgers, so if I lost them both, I would have less places to get huge doses of calories, saturated fat and sodium from. I don’t want to have to eat at Quiznos! Also, I don’t want them to be killed and release new stuff from the grave, because as Biggie, Tupac and Dave Thomas have proven with their posthumous stuff, it won’t be as good.

Much like the McDonald’s Big Mac, the Big Carl is made of two beef patties, a Thousand Island dressing-eque sauce, American cheese and lettuce in between a sesame seed bun. For those of you keeping score at home, the Carl’s Jr. burger does lack the Big Mac’s middle bun, along with pickles and onions. The Big Carl is also supposed to be cheaper than the Big Mac, except here on this island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, where it is one dollar more than a Big Mac and two dollars more than the advertised price of $2.49.

Size-wise, the Big Mac weighs in at 214 grams, while the Big Carl is significantly meatier at 315 grams. (Insert your favorite small penis/big penis joke here.) Flavor-wise, I do find the Carl’s Jr. burger to taste better because of the beef patties, which are of a higher quality than the Big Mac’s, and the Thousand Island dressing-ish sauce. But I wonder if my taste buds approve of the Big Carl because they’re bored with the Big Mac, which I’ve had so many times that I’m surprised I haven’t grown a third bun.

The Big Carl has almost twice the calories and saturated fat than the Big Mac, so it’s not something you should eat on a regular basis and I don’t think that will lure Big Mac enthusiast, Don Gorske, who has eaten over 20,000 Big Macs, to switch over to the Big Carl.

However, even though I just did so, I don’t know if one can truly compare the two burgers, since the Big Carl lacks pickles and onions, both of which helps give the Big Mac its unique taste.

While I believe it’s better tasting than a Big Mac, what I really like about the Carl’s Jr. Big Carl is the fact that it helps complete a rare kinky circle. A dude named Carl can go to Carl’s Jr., order a Big Carl and then perform a Hot Carl on someone.

Don’t know what a Hot Carl is? Look it up on Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary.

WAIT!!!

Don’t do that unless you want to upchuck the chuck you just ate at Chuck E. Cheese while listening to some Chuck Berry.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burger – 920 calories, 59 grams of fat, 23 grams of saturated fat, 145 milligrams of cholesterol, 1370 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber and 45 grams of protein.)

Item: Carl’s Jr. Big Carl
Price: $4.59
Size: 315 grams
Purchased at: Carl’s Jr
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Better tasting than the Big Mac. Tastier patties than the Big Mac. Heavier than the Big Mac. Being able to complete a kinky circle. Wikipedia. Inserting your own penis jokes into a vagina of text.
Cons: Lacks pickles and onions (and third bun). Has twice the calories and saturated fat than the Big Mac. Hot Carls. Pricey on this island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Posthumous stuff from Biggie, Tupac and Dave Thomas.

24 thoughts on “REVIEW: Carl’s Jr. Big Carl

  1. Big Carl needs onions… Looks good… What would you grade the classic Big Mac?

    You paid $4.59??? Most places have it for $2.49 right? Maybe it’s a Hawaii thing…if NYC had a Carls Jr it would probably be $8.99.

  2. Love the big mac with extra mac sauce. That cost .20 more
    but its worth it. I dont have a carls around here but it looks good too. I like wendys burgers best of all and the small chili too. Its all a killer for me so I try to stay away from all fast food.

    THAT IS ALL

  3. No link to the Hot Carl definition? You’re getting rather cautious there in your 30’s, Marvo! I remember a link to one from one of your Crazy Visitor emails. Nice review though, and congrats on your 700th review. I haven’t had a Big Mac in ages and there are no Carl’s Jr. places here so I guess I’m out luck as far as that goes though.

  4. Poor, unfortunately named burger… I saw the name a week ago, and burst into laughter because I had the same thought as you Marvo!

    I guess the folks at Carl’s Jr. are good, saintly people that don’t do anything kinky in the bedroom.

  5. Be happy you can pay $4.59 for one, since we don’t have Carl’s Jr. around here. *insert violin music here*

    Congrat’s on your 700th review! Guess I’ve been here for the last 200 or so…yea me!

  6. @Orchid64: What? Perfect man? You’re not married to me. :P Oh wait, that’s right, I’m a flawed little boy.

    @Ryan: I’d probably give it a 7 out of 10, because it has a lot of bread and lettuce, but not a lot of meat. As for its price, it’s not surprising since everything here is usually more expensive.

    @Neil THE HAMMER: I never thought about getting extra secret sauce on my Big Mac. Maybe I’ll try that next time.

    @amanda: Yeah, it’s like how I roll at a buffet.

    @Chuck: I think it more laziness than cautiousness. Also, did ya notice all your shoutouts in this review?

    @brad: I hope you have a Hardee’s at least. Fried Bologna Sandwich.

    @Richard: Great minds think alike!

    @DaNeener: You’re right. I should be happy that I have a Carl’s Jr. here, because having one means I’ll almost always have new products to review since they come out with something new every month.

  7. I had to look up Hot Carl. Who thinks up this stuff?

    On a burger related note a kid at work just tried a Wendy’s burger for the first time. He was pretty meh about it.

  8. OK Marvo…I went out last night and got one just because I read it here…And because I haven’t had a Big Mac in like forever. While it did meet up to the standards I expect from Carls Jr., it left me wanting that Big Mac taste in my mouth…

    If forced to agree with you…yea, ok an 8. But don’t think the micky dude when eating it.

  9. It looks good. It just doesn’t taste that good. If they had the right Big Mac sauce clone, maybe not so much wet lettuce (which made mine slippery/slimy).

    I’ll stick to the Western Bacon or one of the $6 Burgers…

  10. Eating one as I type this. It’s got less sauce than I’d like, might just be the employee’s fault. Still better than a Big Mac though. If they threw it a middle-bun like the big mac, they would surely destroy the big mac or at least force it to lower it’s cheapskate prices. That middle bun would seal the deal, I’d pay another 50¢ for it. Way to go CJs. √!

  11. Didnt you know!?!?

    McDonald’s was founded by the McDonald’s brothers, Richard and Maurice. AKA Dick and Mac.

    They named a sandwich after one of the brothers, hence the “Big Mac”.

    Guess Dick missed out on his claim to fame….

  12. @grinder: I prefer the cheap Wendy’s burgers over other burgers, but I don’t eat them very often because I don’t like driving to it.

    @P.: Depending on the health of the person, it can vary from one to five.

    @Chuck: I was.

    @ExFiler: I think because of the Thousand Island dressing-ish sauce is what makes me think of the Big Mac. My burger had a lot of it, but I’ve been reading reviews from people who didn’t get a lot of it.

    @Natalie: DO IT!

    @Mark: My lettuce wasn’t wet, but the melted cheese was all over the place.

    @Lucas: The burger I ate had a lot of sauce, but I’ve been reading other reviews by people who didn’t get a lot of it.

    @JHM: Big Dick would’ve been the greatest burger name ever.

    @Zac Pritcher: Agreed.

  13. Bigger not always better! Way too much lettuce. Should be shredded too. Where are the onions and pickles? No flavor except the chargrilled/burnt meat flavor….eckkk!

  14. Yeppers; Pamiam said it best: bigger does not equal better. In this case, the Big Mac is still a tastier and more authentic burger than the Big Carl.

  15. The big king here in Spain is great! espeacialy xxl bigking,,Why did burger king stop selling it in the states..

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