REVIEW: Eclipse Breeze Gum (Exotic Berry & Exotic Mint)

The Eclipse Breeze Gum contains an ingredient called cardamom, which sounds less like an ingredient and more like a dancehall reggae artist. Big up! According to the packaging, “Cardamom is a natural ingredient that has been used for centuries in Asian and India to freshen breath and is scientifically proven to neutralize even the toughest breath odors from coffee, garlic, onions and even smoking.”

This bad breath beating gum comes in two flavors: Exotic Mint and Exotic Berry. I have no idea what’s exotic about them. I’ve been to a number of places with the word “exotic” in their name, so I think I might know a little something about being exotic.

For example, I’ve been to Exotic Nights, Exotic Nites, Exotic Knights, Exotic Heaven, Club Exotic, Exotic Club, Platinum Exotic, Exotic Dreams, Wild Exotic, Exotic Pulse, Exotic Gold, Exotic Indulgences, Exotic House, Exotic Ecstasy, Exotic Moon, Exotic Moon 2, and Exotic Moon 3.

From my experiences at these fine establishments, I don’t think the flavors of the Eclipse Breeze gum are exotic because they don’t make me want to spit out dollar bills, like a human ATM, into the g-strings of female 20-somethings, or occasionally, usually during the day, 30-somethings with cesarean section scars.

Unlike most of the latest chewing gums, the Eclipse Breeze doesn’t have a strong flavor. While others give a big minty kick, these are more like a nudge. But don’t let that nudge fool you, the cardamom does an excellent job of freshening your breath, but it doesn’t do it by burning your mouth with mint flavor.

While the Eclipse Breeze gum does great with turning your foul breath into something much more pleasant, I wish the flavor of the Exotic Berry didn’t make me want to punch my own face to spit it out. At the beginning, it had a decent fake strawberry-ish flavor, but once I penetrated its hard outer shell, its taste quickly turned medicine-like, making me wonder if I was being punished for something.

As for the Exotic Mint, it was significantly better than Exotic Berry and its flavor reminded me of Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum, but I was disappointed a set of hot blonde twins didn’t come with it.

I guess I’ll have to go to Exotic Moon 2 for that.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 pieces – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of sugar alcohol and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Eclipse Breeze Gum (Exotic Berry & Exotic Mint)
Price: $1.25
Size: 12-pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Exotic Berry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Exotic Mint)
Pros: Does an excellent job of freshening breath quickly. Sugar free. Exotic Mint tastes like Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum. Five calories for two pieces. Exotic Moon 2.
Cons: Exotic Berry flavor was somewhat vile. Doesn’t have strong flavors. Flavors weren’t exotic and didn’t make me want to become a human ATM near women in g-strings. Cardamom sounds like a reggae artist. Exotic Knights, which got its name because Exotic Nights and Exotic Nites were already taken.

14 thoughts to “REVIEW: Eclipse Breeze Gum (Exotic Berry & Exotic Mint)”

  1. Wow, I’m an idiot, I mean never mind..

    So yeah, I’ve never been to target before, good post!

  2. Stride is the clear chewing gum leader.

    After reading the word exotic so many times…it didn’t look like a real word anymore. Whoa…time for coffee.

  3. @Ricky: EIGHTH! I think everyone deserves a Target. Price-wise it usually isn’t better than Walmart, but as a guy who loves new products, Target it much better.

    @Chuck: Sometimes I don’t want the deep tissue massage, I just want to be rubbed.

    @Mr. Comfort Wipe: I dunno. If you’re talking about the movie Showgirls, it has a cult following because of how bad it is. I don’t think the Exotic Berry could have a cult following, plus no one from Saved by the Bell is nude with the Exotic Berry.

    @The Frozen Food Master: Remember the Segal twins in the Doublemint commercials. They’re my second favorite set of twins, behind my sister and me.

    @a: It sounds like you love Vegemite more than Australians do.

    @Review Spew: Agreed. I think Stride is better than the other brands.

  4. @angry bob: Unfortunately, I can’t test that claim, because I’m not allow to use matches or lighters or turn on the stove.

  5. You’re in Hawaii – don’t you have a lava flow handy? angry bob was thinking about the type of smokes that someone else lights and passes around anyway.

  6. I think that with the exotic berry you can taste the cardamom more (hence the mediciny taste, you say) But I actually prefer the exotic berry flavor and that taste does not bother me at all
    go figure 🙂

  7. i like the exotic berry i like cardamom…Where can i get more what stores sell the gum

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