REVIEW: Taco Bell Black Jack Taco

As you can see, the most intriguing ingredient of the Taco Bell Black Jack Taco is its black shell, which looks like its been either out in the sun for too long, touched by the Grim Reaper or farted on by someone who just ate food from Taco Bell.

The black taco shell is the ONLY thing interesting about the Black Jack Taco and I think it’s the ONLY reason why people are buying it. It’s just like Playboy Magazine; guys only buy it for the pictures of nude women inside. The articles are only there so that they have something to read during their refractory periods.

While it may look interesting, the black taco shell is like Lady Gaga when she picks something to wear, it doesn’t have much taste. It tastes like Taco Bell’s normal yellow taco shell, which I guess I should be glad about, since my imagination believes if the black taco shell were to have a flavor it would be gangrene.

The filling has the same seasoned ground beef, shredded lettuce, and shredded cheese you will find in 75 percent of the items on Taco Bell’s menu, so it’s not worth writing about beyond the almost 40 words in this sentence.

The Black Jack Taco also comes with a white pepper jack cheese sauce. The white sauce combined with the black shell give the taco a color contrast usually found with piano keys, TV’s made before the 1960s and Spy vs. Spy comics. While not as interesting as the black taco shell, the slightly spicy pepper jack cheese sauce does give this menu item some flavor and spice, although it’s not as tasty as Taco Bell’s nacho cheese and Volcano sauces.

With all the ingredients combined, it creates a taco with a taste that doesn’t really impress me. The pepper jack sauce isn’t bold enough to me and the shell is only for show. But it’s what I expected from Taco Bell — taking whatever ingredients they have, pouring them into fine China, sticking them in a China shop, releasing a bunch of bulls in the shop and whatever ingredients weren’t trampled on gets chosen for the next menu item.

The Black Jack Taco is only around for limited time, but it’s not something I’ll miss when the Fast Food Grim Reaper takes it away.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Black Jack Taco -210 calories, 17 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.)

(NOTE: Grub Grade said it was decent. Junk Food Betty liked it a lot. Review Spew gave it a 2-star rating…barely. Fast Food Reviewed said it was okay. Would I Buy It Again wouldn’t buy it again.)

Item: Taco Bell Black Jack Taco
Price: $1.09 (almost everywhere else it’s 89 cents)
Size: 1 taco
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Black taco shell looks interesting. Something different to order. Pepper jack sauce had a little spice to it. Playboy Magazine.
Cons: Black taco shell is just for show. Pepper jack sauce wasn’t bold enough for me. Not something I would miss when it’s gone. Lady Gaga’s wardrobe choices. Black taco shell looks like its been touched by the Grim Reaper.

21 thoughts on “REVIEW: Taco Bell Black Jack Taco

  1. That is a lot of fat for one taco. I guess it’s the *whispers* Pepper Jack Sauce. Probably won’t try it, but the commercial is pretty damn funny.

  2. Just wait, they will probably just do what they always do and come up with a whole line of “Black Jack” product variations like a “Black Jack Quesedilla” or a “Black Jack Burrito”…. hmmm I wonder if it’s as dissapointing as I think it would be.

  3. I don’t know what it is but this taco looks strangely compelling to me. That and those stupid Phillip Ontacos 399 commercials – that one especially makes me go to Taco Bell. Sadly my impulse control button must be broken. 🙁

  4. @Chuck: I wonder if it’s possible to get a Black Jack Taco Supreme. Or a Double Decker Black Jack Taco Supreme.

    @Gia: Yup, that’s how Taco Bell rolls.

    @Lane O: I thought about adding pink taco and jack sauce references in this review, but decided against it.

    @Kayla: Or you might try it, but not remember trying it after a night of drunkenness.

    @Yum Yucky: If you do find something that looks similar in your fridge, i dare you to eat it. (NOTE: The Impulsive Buy is not responsible for any illness caused by eating expired foods from you fridge.)

    @Justin: I’m waiting for the day when Taco Bell blows my mind with something new or blows my heart with something really bad for me.

    @Oroborus: Mmm…Black Jack Crunchwrap with a black soft tortilla.

    @ShaneH: But still, something a bum might eat. Or what I’ll be eating if I don’t get a real job.

    @Lex: It’s the black taco shell. It’s calling your name.

  5. After endless rounds of commercials, the BF came home with this…thing…one day. I’m vegetarian (yeah, you probably all know that already) so I dodged a bullet. The BF said it was as tasteless and yet overly salted as anything else at Taco Bell. Unhealthy calories — TB ‘R’ Us.

  6. @Michelle: If they sell a lot of them, they’ll probably keep it on the menu, like they did with the Volcano Taco. So keep buying them!

    @Stew: It depends on where you point.

    @J.J.: I really would like to see a black soft taco. That would be disturbing.

    @Kiki: Can you eat anything at Taco Bell? Bean burrito?

    @Jesse: Yes, the volcano sauce is tasty. I would drink it straight.

  7. As a person who is not black but will pretend to be so I can vocalize my outrage that I would have over this review if i was, I am outraged, outraged I say at the obvious racial bias not shown in this review but is clearly there to anyone who huffs cement glue in a paper bag that marvos dislike of
    “Black tacos” and the fact sandwiched in the taco shell is “white pepper jack cheese sauce” that he believes black and white foods should not “mix just like that justice of the peace who would not marry that interacial couple in the news only instead of people, marvo lashes out at black tacos and white sauce that everyone reading must agree
    is a injustice that is equal or even surpasses that news story.

    It’s this kind of thinking that prevented Natalie and Tootie from finding everlasting love and keeps Fran and Mr. Shefield out of some of the best golf clubs in the world.

  8. This taco is supposed to have a “3-cheese blend”. Perhaps the 3 cheeses they blended together are Imitation Cheddar, Processed Imitation Cheddar and Double Processed Imitation Cheddar.

  9. HA!HA! to Zachary. That was awesome because it’s true.

    Yeah, the bean burrito is about my only choice at TB. On the other hand, I live in southern New Mexico — there are a hundred real Mexican restaurants I can go to, including many cheap ones, that are far better than TB. But then I’m a snob that way. Tonight at a dinner party, my appetizer was a crostini featuring finely chopped serrano peppers. Endorphins rule!

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