REVIEW: Dannon Caramel Yogurt

I’m simple when it comes to yogurt, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy plain yogurt. Ugh, just the site of it makes me throw up inside my mouth a little. I’m simple in the way that I don’t need my bacteria infused snack to get fancy on me, like when fruit on the bottom was the “it” thing. I didn’t enjoy that, partly because I’m such a lazy bastard and mixing up the fruit with the yogurt was too much of an effort. Then came drinkable yogurt, which surprised me that there were even lazier bastards out there who believe putting a spoon up to their lips was way too much to work.

Now we have yogurt that helps you become regular, which, again, boggles my mind. I would think Activia would make you stay irregular, because every time you would see the porcelain goddess, you would think about Jamie Lee Curtis’ bowel movement, whether it be pre-Activia Jamie Lee Curtis all bloated and bitchy or post-Activia Jamie Lee Curtis running for a toilet like she just had a feast at Senor Frog’s.

Dannon’s new Caramel Yogurt doesn’t come with a packet of caramel drizzle sauce to put on it (although that would be a good idea). It doesn’t come in a bottle that’s the size of Polly Pocket’s flask, nor does it make promises for helping you drop the kiddies off at the pool, but this old school-style yogurt doesn’t need all of the glitz and glamour. It’s a no nonsense yogurt with a sweet caramel flavor that’s pretty good.

I’m usually a Yoplait Light girl, but I occasionally indulge in a coffee flavored yogurt from Dannon. The only creepy thing about Dannon’s yogurts is the fluid that always just chills on top. I know it’s common with some yogurts, and it’s not a total phobia, but it just weirds me out a bit. Yoplait doesn’t have this phenomenon and it’s much creamier in taste and texture than Dannon’s. Plus, it has fewer calories overall, if you stick to Yoplait Light.

Dannon Caramel Yogurt has 50 more calories than most Yoplait Light varieties, but it struggles in flavor and texture. I guess I could describe Dannon’s taste as more yogurty; it has that bite that Yoplait really doesn’t have and the caramel flavor is very light. It’s almost an essence of caramel, but that doesn’t make it bad, it’s just not a true dessert type yogurt. If you’re calorie conscious and like your yogurt tasting like pudding, I would stick with the Yoplait Light. But if you have an odd fetish with yogurt fluid, I would send you towards the Dannon.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 container – 150 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 350 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, 0% vitamin A, 0% vitamin C and 25% calcium.)

Item: Dannon Caramel Yogurt
Price: Free
Size: 6 ounces
Purchased at: My Parents’ Refrigerator
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: No-frills yogurt. Knowing that there are lazier people than you. Making fun of Polly Pocket’s drinking problems. Sweet caramel flavor. Anything is better than plain yogurt.
Cons: A bitchy and bloated Jamie Lee Curtis. Flavor is very faint. Jamie Lee Curtis with chronic diarrhea. No caramel drizzle packet. Yogurt fluid.

11 thoughts to “REVIEW: Dannon Caramel Yogurt”

  1. I am a caramelphile (is that a word?) and I just have a really hard time imagining a caramel flavored yogurt being appetizing. The texture would be wrong for me. I sometimes make a vanilla yogurt fruit dip sauce with caramel topping, but it has a different consistency. I just have a feeling I’d be disappointed with this product.

  2. If you compare the ingredients list from this Dannon flavor to that of Yoplait Light, I bet you’ll find fewer unpronouncables in the Dannon list (which should incidentally be shorter). Dannon is closer to real yogurt than Yoplait – which is just milk and cultures. That doesn’t mean Yoplait isn’t yummy – but it is a different animal.

  3. This would be worth trying if it had a sweet green apple mixture on the bottom, especially for a fall themed snack.

    I have mixed feelings about fruit on the bottom, it gives me the illusion of control in an entropic universe. Unfortunately with this comes the burden of responsibility, and controlling the fruit concentration of a particular spoonful of yogurt is just too much for me.

  4. I LOVE fruit on the bottom. And I don’t even want to mix them up. It’s like the delightful treasure at the bottom of a cereal box or something. I had some with lunch today (fruit on bottom yogurt, not cereal treasure) and it was the best part of the meal.

  5. I always said that I hate yogurts, but when I taste Dannon Light & fit in key lemon I thought is great. So I only buy Dannon and the fruit on the bottom are delicious, I dont mix it , I eat right it came. For me yoplait tastes like rotten milk lol.

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