REVIEW: Glaceau VitaminWater Zero Squeezed

I don’t know if you’ve ever bought lemonade from kids who set up shop in front of their house and sell their product at a ridiculously high markup that’s usually only seen at Asian-owned convenience stores and shady used car dealerships. If you have, I guarantee it didn’t taste like the Glaceau VitaminWater Zero Squeezed.

The wannabe lemonade stand moguls I’ve bought from make their lemonade either too sour or too sweet or, on occasion, use their short fingers to stir. Now I wouldn’t call myself a lemonade making expert, but I’ve wasted hours of my life that I’ll never get back playing Lemonade Tycoon so I know six lemons, three cups of sugar and four ice cubes make a good lemonade on a hot day, and if the weather isn’t so warm, I reduce the number of ice cubes to two or three.

Of course, I should have low expectations of lemonade made by children who don’t grasp the concept of ratios. However, I would buy lemonade from children who were selling bottles of VitaminWater Zero Squeezed, even if it’s just “lemonade flavored.”

Unlike children’s lemonade stand lemonade, which is always sweetened with pure sugar, the innocence of children and whatever germs are on their hands when they stir it with their fingers, the VitaminWater Zero Squeezed is sweetened with rebiana (stevia extract), crystalline fructose and erythritol.

This trifecta of sweeteners give it just the right amount of sweetness, but keeps the amount of sugar per serving under a gram. It’s also slightly sour, but not even close to making your lips pucker. And, of course, there’s the obligatory wateriness EVERY VitaminWater flavor has. Overall, it’s a refreshing beverage that you’ll enjoy if you like slightly watery lemonade-flavored products or if you’re looking to try every single damn VitaminWater flavor in existence.

The VitaminWater Zero Squeezed also provides 100% vitamin C, B vitamins and electrolytes. These are much better than the bonuses I’ve gotten from children’s lemonade stand lemonade, which has been an occasional lemon seed and diarrhea.

Like all VitaminWater products sweetened with rebiana (VitaminWater Zero & VitaminWater 10), the flavor of VitaminWater Zero Squeezed isn’t as palatable if consumed warm. But it’s still better than the lemon- or sugar-flavored swill that most entrepreneurial eight-year-olds concoct.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 4% calcium, 40% vitamin B3, 40% vitamin B12, 4% magnesium, 100% vitamin C, 10% vitamin E, 40% vitamin B6, 40% vitamin B5 and 10% zinc.)

Read other Glaceau VitaminWater Zero Squeezed reviews:
I Ate A Pie

Item: Glaceau VitaminWater Zero Squeezed
Price: $1.79
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: 7-Eleven (Chicago)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Refreshing. Right amount of sweetness. Not pucker sour. Much better tasting than the swill produced by entrepreneurial eight-year-olds. Zero calories. It’s got electrolytes. It’s got B vitamins. It’s got vitamin C. Being a virtual millionaire playing Lemonade Tycoon.
Cons: It’s just lemonade-flavored, not actual lemonade. Doesn’t taste as good if consumed warm. Markups at Asian-owned convenience stores and shady used car dealerships. Using fingers to stir lemonade. Wasting hours of my life playing Lemonade Tycoon.

14 thoughts on “REVIEW: Glaceau VitaminWater Zero Squeezed

  1. I actually bought a bottle of this at Target this weekend but have yet to drink it. I took it to work today and left it in the fridge there..if it’s not still there tomorrow, I will be pissed.

    Good to know I didn’t waste my dollar and two cents though.

  2. I actually just saw this flavor at Safeway today. I was like, Ewww that doesn’t seem good since the Zero waters normally aren’t very sweet at all. Maybe I will have to check it out since it will only cost me 99 cents

  3. The Squeezed flavor is ok. The one that’s really good is Rise–it’s orange flavored and tastes great in the morning. I love it!

  4. This is currently my favorite Vitamin Water — I actually broke down and bought a case of it when it was on sale so that I wouldn’t have to overpay at a bodega or in Penn Station for it.

    And yes, it does go well with vodka.
    – S

  5. I just stumbled upon this blog after typing in “Rico’s Nacho Cheese Sauce” into Google…

    This is the blog I have been searching for my entire internet life. Food, glorious food. A blog with a brand of humor I can really appreciate centered on food. I freaking love it.

  6. @Natalie: I don’t know if you noticed this, but when VitaminWater goes on sale at Target, it’s only two cents cheaper. I think that’s funny.

    @Gordon Shumway: I think I want to find out if Brawndo really kills the ability to grow things.

    @Chuck: I hope you use shitty vodka when attempting it.

    @Michael: Rollercoaster Tycoon!

    @Steve Tanner: I didn’t get to play Lemonade Stand on the Apple II, I just wrote BASIC.

    @amanda: I believe products with zero in its name should be free. I say don’t pay the 99 cents, just take it. (NOTE: The Impulsive Buy is not responsible for any jail time or fines served if caught shoplifting)

    @Kim: Haven’t tried Rise, but I have tried the XXX…Hey wait, I just noticed both names are also sexual. I wonder if there’s a flavor called Boner.

    @Steph Lo: I never thought about mixing VitaminWater with alcohol. But i guess a lot of things can be mixed with alcohol, like Slurpees.

    @Carley: Welcome to The Impulsive Buy!

    @Lisa: I’m picky with words that start with the letter Q.

    @Lex: I enjoy reading the labels too. I’m waiting for them to come out with a label with profanity or ASCII art.

  7. @Marvo: Shitty vodka filtered through a Brita pitcher = PRIMO tasting vodka. At least, that trick seemed to work the last time I tried it 15 years ago.

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