Do your children still believe in Santa Claus?
Good. Keep lying to them and recommend that instead of plain white milk, which “Santa” throws out anyway, they should pour a glass of Silk’s Mint Chocolate Soymilk to go with the cookies they leave out for Santa.
If your children ask you why Silk Soymilk Mint Chocolate, tell them leaving the special seasonal flavor of soymilk might encourage Santa to leave them a better gift, like a pony, a mommy and daddy who don’t fight all the time, or the greatest gift of all, a $1,000 iTunes gift card.
Of course, if they leave out the mint chocolate-flavored soymilk for Santa, they won’t wake up to any of those awesome gifts, unless you robbed a ranch or Apple Store. But you can console them by saying, “Maybe Santa didn’t leave you a pony because you were a little too naughty this year. What do you have to say for yourself? Is there anything you’d like to admit?”
Why lie to your children in order to get them to pour a glass of this flavored soymilk for Santa? Because you’re probably tired of plain white milk, Silk Soymilk Mint Chocolate is tasty, and because, admit it, lying to your kids is so easy to do.
Children are so dumb… I mean, gullible… I mean, innocent.
No, on second thought, since I don’t have children, I mean dumb.
I think Silk Soymilk Mint Chocolate is good enough to make up for the compounded lies and therapy your offspring might have to go through to get past trust issues. Also, if you have no guilt or conscience, I believe the soymilk will taste much sweeter.
Unfortunately, the soymilk’s chocolate flavor wasn’t what I was expecting. I was hoping it would be as chocolatey as Silk’s regular chocolate soymilk, but just like the drinks at strip clubs, it was slightly watered down. However, the soymilk has the right amount of mint flavor. There’s just enough so that you know it’s there, but it doesn’t overpower, much like the amount of cologne a gentleman puts on.
The Silk Soymilk Mint Chocolate isn’t perfect, but I think it’s the best of the three Silk Soymilk holiday flavors, which also include Nog and Pumpkin Spice. Also, I think if you add a little Baileys Irish Cream, it will make the toy below slightly less annoying, if your child asks Santa for it.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 90 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram polyunsaturated fat, 0 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 300 milligrams of potassium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 30% calcium, 30% vitamin D, 4% folate, 8% magnesium, 10% iron, 25% riboflavin, 50% vitamin B12 and 2% zinc.)
Item: Silk Soymilk Mint Chocolate
Size: 1 quart
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Best tasting of the three Silk Soymilk holiday flavors. Lactose, dairy and cholesterol free. No saturated fat. Tastes good warmed up. Ponies. Contains a bunch of vitamins and minerals. A $1,000 iTunes gift card.
Cons: Unexpectedly weak chocolate flavor. Slightly disappointing amounts of protein. Seasonal flavor. Watered down drinks at strip clubs. Your children having to go to therapy due to trust issues caused by being lied to. Annoying Christmas gifts.