REVIEW: Wrigley’s 5 Vortex Gum

Wrigley's 5 Vortex Gum

With the introduction of each Wrigley’s 5 Gum flavor, Wrigley’s steps closer to displacing all the pudgy, homely packs of Wrigley’s Extra Gum with younger, sexier, and skinnier versions of them.

First, Extra’s Spearmint, Peppermint, and Cinnamon were superseded by Rain, Cobalt, and Flare. Then Extra’s Winterfresh, Bubble Gum, Island Cooler, and Berry Paradise were supplanted by Solstice, Zing, Lush, and Elixir. Finally, Extra’s Cool Watermelon and Cool Green Apple were displaced by Prism and, the latest Wrigley’s 5 Gum flavor, Vortex.

A pack of Vortex smells like what I imagine a Scratch n Sniff green apple sticker would smell like, an exaggerated artificial green apple aroma that I don’t want anywhere on my Trapper Keeper. The gum’s initial flavor is a bit harsh. The flavor has an unusual sour flavor for the first 20-30 seconds of chewing, but after that it tones down and the artificial green apple flavor comes through to ruin my taste buds’ day.

The gum loses most of its flavor at the 6-7 minute mark, which is surprising for a Wrigley’s 5 Gum. At the 8-10 minute mark, the gum takes a turn for the worst and it’s almost devoid of flavor. After 15 minutes, my taste buds couldn’t take it anymore and they ejected the gum. However, I quickly learned spitting out the gum was probably not a wise decision, since it leaves behind a horrible after-aftertaste.

Because I’m a mouth breather, every time I inhale after spitting out this gum, I could taste whatever flavor residue was left behind by Wrigley’s 5 Vortex Gum. This after-aftertaste is the worst part of this gum, because it tastes as though I ate a saltine cracker.

Now, I enjoy a good saltine cracker when I’m having trouble keeping down food or when I want all the saliva in my mouth to be sucked up, but having the flavor of one in my mouth after chewing gum is unpleasant. If only there was something I could chew on to get rid of that unpleasant taste in my mouth.

I can’t blame Wrigley’s for coming out with ANOTHER 5 Gum flavor to make Wrigley’s Extra Gum line be self-conscious about their looks, because the sexier chewing gum line, with its slim black box and one word names that have also been used by automobile manufacturers and strippers, is marketed to teens, and their tastes change as often as their Facebook statuses.

While Vortex wouldn’t make a good stripper name, although Vicky Vortex would make a good porn star stage name, Wrigley’s 5 Vortex Gum has a fitting name, because vortexes suck, and so does this gum.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Wrigley’s 5 Vortex Gum
Price: $1.29
Size: 15 pieces
Purchased at: A Korean convenience store
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Sugar-free. Comes in a sexy, slim box, the skinny jeans of gum packaging, if you will. Saltine crackers when feeling icky. Trapper Keepers.
Cons: Like vortexes, this gum sucks. Unpleasant after-aftertaste, which is like eating saltine crackers. Slightly unpleasant artificial green apple flavor that makes my taste buds unhappy. Flavor doesn’t last long. Pudgy, homely packs of Extra Gum. Being displacing by a younger, sexier version.

10 thoughts to “REVIEW: Wrigley’s 5 Vortex Gum”

  1. This gum DOES suck. Absolutely freaking disgusting. They were giving it out at Sam’s Club yesterday (probably because no one is buying it). It was like chewing on a latex glove that someone puked up Appletini on. GROSS.

  2. This is the absolute worse gum I have ever tasted. Whoever thought it tasted like a big juicy apple has absolutely no taste buds whatsoever. It is just plain nasty.

  3. I agree that this is terrible gum. I googled the gum to see if anyone else had the same negative response to the gum. For whatever reason the pack that I got loses its flavor within about 40 seconds then becomes really hard. Every other 5 flavor seems good to me accept this one.

  4. I am sooo glad most of my normal sources on gum reviews agree with me… My local minimart is having a 2 fer 1 special on 5 so I’ve been buying one flavor I love and one I’ve never tried. I get something new, and I’m not buying 1.99 for it.

    I think however, this was a horrible choice.. I should have bought the berry I had my eyes on… As we were walking home I started om noming on this… (each dot is a second) I spit it out, almost tearing up from the craptastic taste… RECK! Luckily Thanksgiving is next week so I can offer it to family if they ask for gum.

    Seriously. YUK. Think I’ll stick to Stride Uberbubble from now on just to avoid this taste. It might sneak into other 5 flavours to hit me again.

  5. I’m a quitting smoker so I bought a 3-pack of this gum in green apple.

    It kind of reminds me of painting the house. This strong chemical smell/taste, you almost feel your eyes might get watery if you get too close, like paint thinner. But I really didn’t expect any better than chemical-ish artificial flavour/smell when I bought it. That’s not the problem.

    This gum turns to goop in my mouth if I chew more than 4 mins, or faster if I let it sit still in my mouth at all. It dissolved in my saliva into this gritty goopy mess. Like a kid eating plasticine or something.

    I had always spit it out as soon as it started getting soft. This was pretty much right away. It never turned rubbery like gum should be to some degree. It gave a flavour shot and dampened the smoker breath, but it wasn’t good for chewing, so into a napkin/trash/gutter it went.

    But one day I was on the subway and popped in a stick. I had nothing to spit it out on. Four stops later it started disintegrating. There was this cutie I wanted to talk to, but I knew I couldn’t open my mouth or the liquid “gum” would spill out.

    Three stops later I got off (and so did cutie). By now my mouth was really full of saliva from not swallowing it. I had to pretend to go the wrong way at first to get her ahead of me so I could secretly spit into the garbage can. The few people behind me still had to witness it: me spewing a large steady projectile stream of strongly scented, liquid, neon green goop. I’m just glad I didn’t miss the can. I felt so disgusting.

    I regard chewing tobacco as one of the most disgusting habits possible. This incident reminds me of that, combined with that St Patrick’s party when I was 20 which I don’t remember but saw the pictures.

  6. you are right- this is the worst gum I have ever had…. it is so bad I google searched it b/c I was worried it was a nicotine gum or something b/c I couldn’t believe how gross it is….

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