Häagen-Dazs is quite possibly the Mercedes-Benz of the ice cream world. Both exhibit high quality in their respective industries and both have the letter Z in the second word of their names. Okay, maybe I’m making this comparison because I watched a marathon of Top Gear episodes thanks to Netflix.
But for Americans, when they imagine a European luxury car maker, they’ll probably think Mercedes Benz, and when they imagine a European premium ice cream, they’ll probably think Häagen-Dazs.
However, there’s a problem with that, because Häagen-Dazs is, and has always been, an American company. It’s as American as apple pie, baseball, and people suing fast food companies for making them fat. Now I could say I knew Häagen-Dazs has been an American company all this time, but like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie, and I blame the umlaut-ed A for my ignorance.
Umlaut! Thou trickery shall not be forgotten and I shall place you under a lowercase L, the number one, or a Sheffer stroke to shame you.
With the knowledge that Häagen-Dazs is an American company and apple pie is as American as…itself, I think the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie ice cream is the most patriotic ice cream ever. Although some might say, Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream is the most patriotic ice cream, but the only way it could be more patriotic than the Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie is if it contained actual chunks of Mr. Colbert or a gooey swirl of his Formula 401.
The Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie, a.k.a. The Most American Ice Cream, is made up of apple ice cream, chunks of apples, caramel swirls, and chunks of pie crust. When combined, it’s as if I’m eating an American flag that’s been wrapped around the U.S. Constitution, which has been stuffed with the Bill of Rights that contains grounded bits of other things I learned in grade school social studies, all of which has been covered with lots of cinnamon, which is the most dominate flavor in the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie.
The apple ice cream is what you expect from a Häagen-Dazs ice cream: creamy, easy to scoop, and something so deliciously right, but yet, so addictively wrong. The apple and pie crust chunks were small, and in about 60 percent of the spoonfuls I took from the 14-ounce container, I ended up with either a chunk of apple or a chunk of pie crust. But having a spoonful with both was extremely rare.
The apple chunks brought a little more apple flavor beyond the apple ice cream, and it was nice having them in there to provide the crisp texture of apples. I guess having actual apple chunks are one of the little things that makes Häagen-Dazs a premium American ice cream maker. The buttery pie crust chunks were one of the best parts of the ice cream, because when mixed with the apple ice cream, it tastes somewhat similar to an actual apple pie. As for the caramel, despite being a focal ingredient of this ice cream, it doesn’t really stand out, nor does it complement anything. It sort of gets lost within the cinnamon, which is fine by me.
Overall, I like the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie ice cream, although I do wish it had more pie crust chunks. The combination of apple ice cream and cinnamon is a winner, but at the same time it makes me yearn for a real apple pie a la mode.
Oh wait, that’s not the American way to say it. I meant to say, apple pie served with ice cream.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 250 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, and 8% calcium.)
Item: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie
Price: $4.19
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: U-S-A! Apple ice cream and cinnamon make an awesome combination. Creamy. Apple ice cream and pie crust chunks make an awesome combination. Apple chunks added a little more apple flavor and a nice crisp texture. Eating apple pie while watching baseball with a bald eagle perched on my shoulder make an awesome combination. Top Gear. Netflix. Fun with punctuations. U-S-A!
Cons: Only 14 ounces. Not a satisfying substitute for apple pie served with ice cream. Small chunks of pie crust and apples. Not enough chunks of pie crust and apples. The umlaut tricking me into thinking Häagen-Dazs is a European company.