I have an issue with the name selection for Post’s Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders.
Maybe it’s my inner geologist talking, who only took Geology 101 in college because it didn’t involve dissecting anything, but I don’t like that they’re called boulders. They’re nowhere close to having the 256 millimeter diameter needed to be classified as a boulder.
Heck, I can easily lift several of these Pebbles Boulders with one hand, and I’m pretty sure I’m who Hans and Franz would call a “Girlie Man.” I also don’t feel comfortable calling them Boulders because there’s no way one piece of this cereal could lodge my arm against a cavern wall and trap me in the middle of the desert, forcing me to cut off my arm in order to have a chance at survival.
If I were to use the Wentworth scale, these Pebbles Boulders wouldn’t even be Pebbles Cobbles, they’d be more like Pebbles Fine Gravel.
It’s not just the size and weight of this cereal that bothers me. Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders cereal doesn’t even look like boulders. With its green bones and brown cereal pieces, it looks like The Great Kazoo’s bones were buried under a load of tiny tater tots.
When I opened the bag of Pebbles Boulders, a strong caramel aroma drifted out of it, like I had just opened up a body bag filled with dead Sugar Daddies. It made me think that this cereal was going to be ungodly sweet. Fortunately for my lack of dental insurance it wasn’t toothachingly sweet.
Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders are supposed to have a caramel apple flavor and you’d think the brown cereal would provide the caramel flavor while the green bones would give the cereal its green apple flavor, but that’s not the case. The tiny tater tots provide all the cereal’s flavor, while The Great Kazoo’s bones are absolutely useless, like the regular red birds in Angry Birds, and don’t provide any flavor. Overall, the cereal’s flavor was…Hmm, how can I best describe it using a Flintstones catchphrase? Oh, I know, it was Yabba-Dabba-Eww! I could taste the caramel apple, but only for a brief moment in between a weird unrecognizable initial flavor and an unpleasant aftertaste.
If Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders has one thing going for itself it’s that it has less sugar and more whole grain than Honey Nut Cheerios. But, to be honest, not even that can make up for what its aftertaste will do to your taste buds.
It’s disappointing that the folks who make the awesome Cocoa and Fruity Pebbles couldn’t make Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders cereal equally as awesome.
(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 110 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 12 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and an assemblage of vitamins and minerals.)
Other Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders reviews:
Half Assed Productions
Item: Post Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders
Size: 9.5 ounces
Purchased at: The-Monstrous-Superstore-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Less sugar and more whole grain than Honey Nut Cheerios. Limited Edition. Cocoa Pebbles. Fruity Pebbles. Vitamins and minerals.
Cons: Yabba-Dabba-Eww! Unusual initial flavor. Unpleasant aftertaste. Gets soggy in milk quickly. Looks like tiny tater tots mixed with The Great Kazoo’s bones. Not boulder-sized.