ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Jeff

Hello…there I said it. I don’t like saying hello.

I’m Jeff and what I do like is food found in gas stations, imbibing copious amounts of whiskey, and wearing blazers. I also like The Impulsive Buy. I came across this site when I was trying to track down Creamiscle Oreos and discovered their review. Ever since then, I make it a daily habit of mine to check the site and brush my teeth. I am also the newest member of The Impulsive Buy’s ensemble of reviewers.

I am one of sixteen people living in Central Florida who do not work for Disney or Universal.

I work in the legal realm so you can trust me because I wear a suit, a tie, and listen to smooth jazz. My writing career consists of angry drunk texting, random scrawling on bathroom stalls, and the occasional legal memorandum. I also sweat more than the average person because of my penchant for said blazers. As a child, I grew up in my family’s restaurant business so food has always been a passion of mine. I try everything at least once, except for brown rice sushi (if you eat that stuff, you are a jerk).

While other “foodies” are foraging for mushrooms or herbs in those creepy forests, I can be found at the neighborhood 7-Eleven scavenging the aisles for that elusive limited edition release. The wafts coming from a seldom cleaned bathroom at these places never discourage me. Speaking of toilets, you can be assured of one thing: I will risk a potentially horrible bowel movement just to get a review to you dear TIB Reader. Bad poops are a small price and besides I brush my teeth.

Donning shorts, a navy sports coat, and speeding at a dangerous 26 mph on my midnight blue Vespa, I am out looking for products awaiting judgment. I will be straightforward with you in my recommendations. They may not be elegant, but my reviews for TIB are going to be direct and to the point. I hope to maintain the high bar that you have all come to know from TIB. Expect me to inform you, help you, and, of course, brush my teeth. Just don’t expect me to say hello.

7 thoughts on “ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Jeff

  1. Welcome, Jeff.

    Check out the 7-11 on Maitland Blvd across the street from EA (at the corner of Summit Center Way and Maitland.) They sometimes get some interesting stuff in to appease the EA guys.

  2. Salutations! A man that appreciates the delicacies to be found at his local 7-Eleven is admirable indeed. From one Florida resident to another – you drive a Vespa?! Daredevil!

  3. Jeff. I’m not sure…but I think I love you. I mean…a lot. I’m not gay or anything. I just….hang on. (uuuhhh, uuuuhhh, UUUUhhhHHH …”splat” UUUUHHhhhhhh. Let me get a paper towel….hang on.

    Ok – I changed my mind.

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