As a culture, we love food stuffed with more food inside. Witness offerings of pizza crusts with molten cheese in the middle, the obligatory jalapeÃ±o poppers with your 2-for-1 margaritas, mozzarella encased inside hamburgers, chili piped into hot dogs, pretzel bits inside M&Mâ€™s, bourgeois slanted artisan olives with sardines and the Noahâ€™s Ark of gluttony: The Turducken. So it is only natural that we want our Chex cereal entombed in chocolate and peanut butter as well.
The ubiquitous Chex Mix is perhaps one of the easiest things to prepare but as a society weâ€™ve become too busy to be bothered to mix things in a bowl. And why should we? Weâ€™re busy people damn it! And weâ€™re also a fickle population since there are more than a dozen varieties of Chex Mix available to fit your personality (the package touts “A bag of interesting!” and we want to be a Goddamned bag of interesting). We want efficiency, instant gratification, and a snack that is easy to fist in our maws as we multitask. Yay Betty Crocker and General Mills!
Walking into my neighborhood convenience store to scarf down a breakfast burrito with pebbles of sausage, I found the Chocolate Chex Mix Muddy Buddies staring at me. Muddy Buddies? I have to admit; the name is horrible because it sounds like a coy reference to anal sex. I will let you know that this Chex Mix is neither interesting nor as exciting as anal sex (if youâ€™re into that stuff) but itâ€™s pretty damn good. I normally think that the bagged snack is sometimes too salty and the chocolate line is a bit too sweet for my liking. However, the “Muddy Buddies” version is a good balance of sweet and a hint of salt.
Iâ€™ve only found this in the small 4.5 ounce bags at a gas station and at $2.29, I was taking a personal fiscal risk. My assumption is if these become successful, they will probably bring them in the normal size at the supermarkets. These Chex Mix fall in their “chocolate” subset versus the normally found “salty” and the “sweet and salty” groups. In other words, these particular ones may be a bit more difficult to find.
Yeahâ€¦Iâ€™m not making this up. Chex Mix created its own three subgroups just to make it even more convenient for you — Chocolate, Salty, and Sweet and Salty. I have this urge to draw you readers a Venn diagram, but thatâ€™s my OCD talking.
Speaking of OCD, ripping open the package was a bit alarming since the sweet powdery coating is so severe. You would think Brian De Palma is filming a sequel to Scarface in each bag. I was worried I would be covered in the sugar, but the powder doesnâ€™t flake off. So you can wear your black clothes, chow down and you wonâ€™t look like you have dandruff or a major coke problem. Arenâ€™t cocaine problems passÃ© anyhow? I also thought the sugary powder would overtake the Chex, but it doesnâ€™t. It nicely compliments the chocolate and the peanut butter.
The texture has a very slight give and then that satisfying crunch that will elate you enough to eat the whole bag. The Chex are deceptively small and at 130 calories for a basic handful does it really matter that itâ€™s “50% less fat than regular potato chips” as the bag screams? I found myself devouring the entire thing while watching only a fourth of Cheaters. Seriously, Joey Greco didnâ€™t even get to show the video yet to the girlfriend with big hair.
The chocolate flavor is very much in the background and what you mostly taste is peanut butter and corn Chex. The peanut butter is resoundingly good as it doesnâ€™t have that fake taste like that peanut butter crunch cereal nor is it overwhelming like a peanut butter cup. Itâ€™s quick, and then it leaves you. Nice. As I stated before, no one flavor alone takes over and it is a simple harmonious bite. It’s Yin and Yang in your mouth. Not sure if it is a bag of interesting but you could do worse, like butt sex.
(Nutrition Facts – 1/3 cup – 130 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of total fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)
Item: Chex Mix Muddy Buddies
Size: 4.5 ounces/4.5 servings in each bag coincidentally
Purchased at: At a scary 7-Eleven where all the gas pumps have yellow bags on them
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: A great balance of flavors, especially since peanut butter can drown everything. Satisfying snack. Joey Greco. Sugar doesnâ€™t flake off, so members of Rammstein or The Cure can eat it without looking as if they had a coke habit. Brian De Palmaâ€™s movies.
Cons: You will not be a bag of interesting but you will eat the whole damn thing without knowing it. A bit pricey for a small bag. Butt sex.