REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar

I can’t think of sandwich crackers without thinking of grade school day care. Unnaturally bright neon orange crackers with some sort of peanut-related substance smeared in between. I’m sure they don’t serve those anymore, since some kid named Billy who eats his boogers has a peanut allergy so severe that just being in the same room with something that barely qualifies as peanut butter sends him into anaphylactic shock. Kids are such sissies these days.

I’m also pretty sure I haven’t had sandwich crackers since those grade school days. I think time has shown that I’ll eat some pretty juvenile shit – I was about to write that I’d eat Dunkaroos if they still existed, but Google just told me they do, so now I’m conflicted – but there’s something about sandwich crackers that makes me wince. Perhaps there’s a deep-seated feeling of abandonment caused by having to go to day care after school. More likely it’s that my friends and I used to scrape all the peanut butter out of the sandwiches and use it like a greasy substitute for Play-Doh. I once made the perfect sculpture of a nose. It was the pinnacle of my artistic career.

These Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar aren’t sandwich crackers, however. These are filled crackers. At least, according to Ritz, that’s what they are. But I can see through Ritz’s facade. Look at that packaging. The cracker looks like it’s sitting on a pristine marble countertop. The “k” in “Crackerfuls” is sprouting a stalk of wheat from its head, presumably indicating that it is natural or healthy. And yet, for the menfolk, it is made clear that there is 75% more filling, so nobody will make fun of you for eating wimpy, under-filled sandwich crackers. I mean, filled crackers. No, I mean sandwich crackers.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Package

In size, they certainly aren’t your kids’ crackers, coming in at 4.5 inches long by 2 inches wide, with a generous amount of filling. I’d say almost too generous, but the ratio of cheese-to-cracker is just about right, although the cheese does squish out the sides when you bite down, making for a less than tidy snack.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Crackers

The crackers have a pleasant buttery taste, just like regular Ritz, but they aren’t flaky and are much more sturdy, helping to compensate for the heft of the filling. The cheese, when tasted by itself, has a bit of a grainy feel to it, but when eaten as a sandwich, the cracker seems to cover that up. The cheese has the consistency of a soft cheese spread (hence the squishing out the sides).

It also tastes a lot like a processed cheese spread, which is my biggest complaint. Ritz seems to be marketing these crackers to a more adult market, and while the cracker is quite tasty, the cheese filling tastes too artificial for most adult palates. I still eat cheese-in-a-can, but I’m not exactly “normal”. I also think the cheese is too soft; most adults don’t want cheese spread squishing out everywhere, and the consistency adds to the feeling that you’re definitely not ingesting actual cheese.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Innards

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar filled crackers seem caught between two demographics. Too large for a child’s snack and lacking the flashy packaging that would make a kid scream at their parent until it wound up in the shopping cart, and yet too unrefined and artificial-tasting to appeal to most adults, who would probably take the individually-wrapped sandwiches to work and then find themselves embarrassed to be wiping processed cheese spread off their faces. Ritz got the cracker right, but the cheese all wrong, and with 75 percent more of it, that just makes that downfall more obvious.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack – 190 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of total fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 4 gram of monounsaturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 70 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugars, 2 grams of protein, 0% vitamin A, 0% vitamin C, 6% calcium, and 4% iron.)

Item: Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar
Price: $3.29
Size: 5 filled crackers
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Crackers were buttery and held together well. Using peanut butter as a substitute for Play-Doh. Sandwich was large enough for an adult snack. The opportunity to watch a co-worker eat a messy sandwich cracker.
Cons: Cheese tasted too processed. Kids screaming for junk food at the grocery store. Cheese was too soft and messy. Being that adult eating a messy sandwich cracker.

13 thoughts on “REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar

    1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE CRACKERS. And I find that most women my age LOVE them. They must fill some type of menopausal spot–because these are ADDICTING and INCREDIBLE and they are always OUT of them where ever I go to buy them. YES.. the cheese squishes.. BUT IT IS FABULOUS. I am snacking on these.. NOT LOOKING FOR HEALTHY OPTION.. But this option is better than chips, or chocolate, or ice cream and I AM ADDICTED. I am hoping many others give it a better review because I have NO IDEA what I am going to do if I can’t buy these anymore. Being that it is hard to find them worries me!! I usually get over my addictions to a particular food in a year.. sooo can we give it a good review for another year please?? So those of you who aren’t sure about trying these–TRY THEM.. YOU WILL BE HOOKED!! FABULOUS!!

  1. i’m glad i read this review. i have been tempted a few times to get these. i just always felt funny about paying so much for what seems to be cheap sandwich crackers. i was especially concerned about the inside, like you mentioned, the grainy cheese stuff. so, thank you, i know to keep away!

  2. I like these “filled crackers” for a quick snack when I am at home. Yet, every single thing you said is true. The “cheese” is grainy and doesn’t taste or feel like cheese. It reminds me of the cheese powder that comes with Kraft mac n’cheese.

    They are messy to eat too.

    Now that I think about it, I don’t know why I eat these at all!

  3. I liked the original ones when they first came out, but in the next upgrade before colossal they must have added something that didn’t agree with my innards. Never did figure out what the problem ingredient(s) was/ were. Won’t stop me from trying these if they show up here, of course… The originals with thinner filling had the side squishing problem, too. Breaking them into smaller pieces made it more manageable.

  4. Man, my five year old won’t even eat these. Though I do seem to find their numbers diminished waking up the morning after tying one on.

    And there’s nothing wrong with cheese in a can. What do you think made the original Philly cheesesteak?

  5. Ritz is always just for kids. It’s one of those things that parents delude themselves into thinking is healthy for kids, when it’s not as good as Goldfish Crackers, pretzels, or even some baked potato chips.

  6. I have read the negative reviews. But my 15 yr. old daughter & I really love this stuff. We love the flavor especially the double stuffed cheese, our only gripe is there is not enough in the box, 5?!?! I wish there is like 8 in a box for the price.

  7. Colossal cheddar!! I cannot find coloshsal cheddar anywhere. I used to get then at Walmart but Walmart has been out is them as well as father, giant, acme, bottom dollar and all the other Cvs and walgreens around here in PA and we miss colossal cheddar. I bought them all the time, I mean all the time. Please please help me find them again!! Dis you discontiune colossal

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