REVIEW: Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)

Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)

I once had a vivid dream that I traveled back in time to 1980. I don’t exactly remember why I’d chosen to time travel to that particular year, but I do recall being acutely aware that I had to avoid running into my parents at any cost. I also recall eating at a McDonald’s and being freaked out that I received my fast food in un-biodegradable Styrofoam containers. Faster than you could say “Marty McFly,” my alarm clock started buzzing, and I was whisked from my 80’s dream world, back to the present. I still have no idea what instigated my impromptu fast food run across the space-time continuum. Guess I was seriously jonesin’ for some junk food.

Which brings us to Doritos. Thanks to them, not only can we time travel in our sleep, we can also time travel at snack time! Old-timey, discontinued flavors, Sour Cream and Onion and Salsa Rio Doritos are out once again, sold in jaunty retro packaging, which I am assuming is Doritos’ attempt to duplicate the success of its re-released, late-60s era “Taco Flavor.”

Sour Cream and Onion Doritos were originally introduced in the early 80’s (…so I guess that means I could’ve bought some of those in my dream instead of destroying the environment with Mickey D’s). It’s strange that the Doritos people think we’d want that flavor again NOW, especially considering that we already have, like, eight thousand other Doritos flavors that more or less duplicate or improve upon the simplicity of sour cream and onion. Anyway, having come back to us now in the 21st century, Sour Cream and Onion Doritos have a robust onion flavor, which is balanced nicely by the sour cream taste. Not bad. But I can’t really tell the difference between this and Cool Ranch — a fact that does little to convince me that this flavor needed to be re-released.

Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio) Closeup

Salsa Rio Doritos are also visitors from the recent past…this time, from the late 80s. And we all know how awesome the late 80s were! I’m looking at you, Gorbachev! Just like glasnost, Salsa Rio Doritos are bold and delicious. These chips approximate the flavor of fresh tomato salsa with chopped onion very well and even have a little kick of heat. It’s interesting to note that this flavor had the shortest shelf life of the two when it was first introduced 25 years ago. Maybe people were too busy being coked up and rocking out in their leggings and Members Only jackets to Terence Trent D’Arby to go shopping for salsa-flavored tortilla chips.

I posit that Sour Cream and Onion and Salsa Rio Doritos have come in special Limited Edition retro bags so that they will attract more attention. Well, it worked. I like the detail and both flavors make charming little additions to the Doritos flavor spectrum, even if their Limited Edition status means they won’t be around forever. Not unlike Terence Trent D’Arby.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bag (28g) – Sour Cream & Onion – 290 calories, 17 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 4 grams of protein. Salsa Rio – 290 calories, 16 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Item: Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)
Price: $1.09 (on sale)
Size: 1 ounce
Purchased at:
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Sour Cream and Onion)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Salsa Rio)
Pros: Time traveling in your sleep. Retro packaging. Two swell additions to the pantheon of flavored tortilla chips. Delicious, fresh tomato salsa flavor. Glasnost. Terence Trent D’Arby.
Cons: Styrofoam fast food containers. Being too coked up to care about salsa. Sour Cream and Onion tastes similar to Cool Ranch. “Limited Edition” means these Doritos won’t be around forever.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal

Kellogg's Krave Double Chocolate Cereal

Faithful TIB readers will recall Jasper reviewing Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Cereal, stating that while it wasn’t exactly an “adult” cereal, it was tasty without making him feel like the 11-year-old that he actually is (probably) (just kidding, Jasper!).   I read that with great interest, then scooped up a box of Krave Double Chocolate at the first opportunity, determined to see whether upping the chocolate quotient would make me less wizened and grinch-like.   While I’m still cursing at people who don’t use their turn signals, I have noticed a 54 percent decrease in shuffling, complaining about the chill, and watching Jay Leno, so I’m going to call this one a success!

On opening the box and taking a whiff, I was greeted with a vague chocolate smell, similar but not entirely like other chocolate cereals like Cocoa Pebbles or Cocoa Puffs.   Even holding a piece right up to my nose, it’s not as powerful a scent as I would have expected out of double chocolate anything; but the smell may just be locked in by a non-nutritive cereal varnish, semi-permeable but not osmotic, which coats and seals the piece.   Regardless, I started by trying a few pieces dry, and I was happy with what I experienced.   The cereal bits are suitably crunchy without being too hard or jagged edged, and the small burst of chocolate inside hits you like a little surprise a second or two after your taste buds have registered the outer layer.   It’s a well timed one-two punch, with the outer part being a bit of a subtler, less intense chocolate, but the inner component being richer.   High marks all around.

Given that, I was really eager to get the milk on and see how I liked them.   Regrettably, I have to report that while milk is almost always an improvement to cereal, it had the opposite effect on Double Chocolate Krave.   Don’t get me wrong, they’re still flavorful, but almost too much so — my teeth seemed to be on the verge of hurting with every bite.   My suspicion is that when the milk penetrates to the inside layer of chocolate, it turns it more liquidy; and while you’d think that would be a good thing, it actually makes it overly chocolate-y, if such a thing is possible.   I mean, I have a sweet tooth and all, but a 17-year-old girl who got dumped a week before prom would say this was a little too much chocolate.   I feel like I visited a guy on the street corner looking for an ounce of weed and he injected me with black tar heroin.

Kellogg's Krave Double Chocolate Cereal Closeup

Aside from the flavor, I found that they didn’t stay crunchy in milk very well at all — a mere five minutes of soaking reduced them to the firmness of a mushy banana, so either they don’t maintain consistency or someone at the grocery store is slipping acid into my milk.   Probably both.   (I have a lot of enemies.)   Since Jasper reported that the uni-chocolate variety held its crunchiness pretty well in milk, I’m wondering if it’s something to do with the different outer layers — maybe nutella and whatever else is in the casing of the regular variety is better at saying no than chocolate, the village bicycle.

While I can only give Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate a moderate score due to its overpowering taste and loose consistency in milk, I’d definitely recommend picking some up to eat dry as a party snack or something.   All told, it appears to simply be that rare cereal that’s better without the milk.   The back of the box makes reference to “chocovores,” so I guess I’m just one of those chocovores who likes his meals raw and unseasoned.   Grrrrr.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp

Item: Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal
Price: $3.99
Size: 11 ounces
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes great dry.   Good crunch.   Not overpowering scent.   Nice one-two chocolate flavor combo.   Satisfying your chocolate craving for the next five years.   Would probably make for a good party snack food.
Cons: Milk somehow makes it too sweet and chocolate-y.   People who don’t use their turn signals.   Gets soggy quickly.   They misspelled “crave.”   Being the only product in the world where more chocolate is a bad thing.   Comparing chocolate to hardcore drugs.

NEWS: Sadly, Dunkin’ Donuts New Bakery Sandwiches Don’t Use Donuts As Buns

The Original Dunkin Donuts Store

The folks over at Fast Food Geek reviewed Dunkin’ Donuts’ new Bakery Sandwiches, which come in two varieties: Ham & Cheese and Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon.

The Ham & Cheese is made up of sliced ham with white cheddar on a French roll, while the Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon consists of sliced turkey, cherrywood smoked bacon and white cheddar cheese on a French roll. The new Bakery Sandwiches join the Texas Toast Grilled Cheese Sandwich on the after-breakfast menu.

But, seriously, Bakery Sandwiches? BORING! Come on, Dunkin’ Donuts! Come on over to the dark side and break the 1,000 calorie mark with a sandwich that combines a sausage patty, bacon, eggs, and several slices of cheese in between one of your glazed donuts. Oh, it would be so good…and evil. It feels good to be evil once in a while.

A Ham & Cheese has 440 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1380 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 24 grams of protein. A Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon has 470 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1380 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 28 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet

Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet

Wrigley says their new Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum is made up of the flavors orange, lemon, and lime. So I was hoping a stick of it would look like a vertical strip cut off from a Rastafarian flag, but it was just pink.

Of course, I should’ve easily guessed the gum’s color because the packaging has so much pink that I’m disappointed the profits from this gum don’t go to breast cancer research.

To be honest, I had forgotten what rainbow sherbet tastes like so I headed to the nearest supermarket to pick some up. Unfortunately, all the store had was a 4-quart pail of rainbow sherbet, so if you invite me to your Super Bowl party, guess what I’m bringing.

After chewing on a piece of Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum and eating a little rainbow sherbet straight from the 4-quart pail using the smallest spoon I could find, I thought the gum didn’t really taste like rainbow sherbet. Instead it had a generic mild citrus flavor, which eventually became more lime-ish the more chewed on it. I also noticed the sherbet has a sourness that the gum lacks.

Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet Closeup

With all of that said, I have to say the Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum has a good flavor, even though it’s not rainbow sherbet. It’s a pleasant soft chew and the flavor lasts for a decent amount of time.

And thank goodness it has all of these traits because it seems it’s only available in packs of three. So if this gum sucked, guess what I also would’ve brought to your Super Bowl party.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet
Price: $2.17
Size: 3 pack/15 sticks
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good flavor. Sugar free. Low calorie. Pleasant chew. Flavor lasts. Being irie. Super Bowl parties.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like rainbow sherbet. Having to buy a 4-quart pail of rainbow sherbet. Gum is not multicolored. Lot of pink, but no money going to breast cancer research.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 1/28/2012

Myrtle Beach Hooters, November, 2011

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Thanks to this I can now rub Hooters on my hooters. I hope it burns. (via Foodette Reviews)

If Dr Pepper Ten is just for guys, then who is Sunkist Ten for? I hope it’s other citrus fruits. Cannibalism! (via BevReview)

If I found myself stranded in the middle of Death Valley during the day, I wouldn’t want a Death Valley Root Beer. I’d just want a ride home in air conditioned comfort. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Mars calls their latest candy bar 3 Musketeers Coconut. But because coconuts are big and round and it’s a 3 Musketeers bar, I shall call it the Porthos Bar. (via Candyblog)