ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Marisa

Dear Impulsive Buy readers,

I never thought this would happen to me….

My name’s Marisa and I’m humbled to be invited to join the team of writers here. I’m East Coast born, West Coast raised and will swear up and down that I don’t have any sort of an accent. The city of Tacoma is where I currently reside, a city made minimally famous by Almond Roca candy, a Steve Miller song, and named the “most sexually healthy city” by Self Magazine. Trust me, it’s a tough reputation to live up to.

I would bet dollars to donuts (sweet, delicious donuts) that I’m the typical example of the online food reviewer: slightly overweight build, hunched back from hours in front of a computer, and an ungodly knowledge of the all the flavors of Pop-Tarts that have debuted over the years. I’ve been rambling about all sorts of junk food for years now, so it’s great that I can legitimately put it on a resume now. I always get a thrill from purchasing “Limited Time Only!” foods (note Exhibit A: The stack of Birthday Cake Oreos piling up in my kitchen) and quickly discontinued foods that disappear faster than endangered species. I still mourn the loss of Sprite Remix & Surge on a semi-regular basis.

When I’m not working for my state government forty hours a week helping to increase student loan debt, I post food musings on my own site Clearance Cuisine, whose biggest fan and ardent supporter happens to be my mom. By the way Mom, if you’re currently reading, this is what the Bachelor’s Degree in Arts, Media & Culture got me. Nevertheless, I’m ecstatic to try loads of products in my spare time and have a captive audience to my thoughts. By eating junk food for a living, I consider it less “killing myself” than I do “taking one for the team”.

If you were wondering, my favorite go-to fast food meal is three McDoubles with no bun and no ketchup. I’m watching my carbs, okay?

8 thoughts to “ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Marisa”

  1. Anyone who wishes Surge was still around is a new best friend of mine. Welcome and I look forward to reading your reviews.

  2. Welcome! I’ve enjoyed reading Clearance Cuisine in the past so I know you’re post some awesome articles on The Impulsive Buy. And I hope you can instill some “Tacoma realness” on TIB too.

  3. Hi and welcome!

    A) I love your blog, Clearance Cuisine!

    B) I also used to swear up-and-down that I was a Chicagoan who did not have an accent. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that not only was that not true (a professional voice teacher told me I needed to work on eradicating my accent), but I also found out that ALL of my friends thought I was joking each time I said that! Grr.

    C) So 3 McD’s patties eaten with a fork and knife? No Ketchup?? But that’s what McD’s patties taste like! Slightly onion-y ketchup.

    1. A) Thank you!

      B) I’ve been informed my “accent” is unfortunately actually a “speech impediment”.

      C) That’s correct. They actually serve it on a whole piece of leaf lettuce (I eat it taco style) in a plastic salad tray. If you’re familiar with In-n-Out Burger’s “secret menu”, it’s basically the protein style burger for a cheap price.

  4. You failed to mention that Tacoma is also the most stressed-out city in the country. That’s why I try to stay at least 100 miles away at all times. (I live in Vancouver, WA.) Oh, and could you please stop increasing my student loan debt? It’s quite high already. Thanks. I look forward to reading your posts, and trying to hold on to my self-imposed, unofficial and probably unfounded title of the Best Food Blogger in Western Washington.

    1. So that’s why my hair has been falling out in large chunks! Also, good news is student loan interest rates are going up this year.

      I wish we could BOTH get the award for Best Food Blogger in Western Washington, however, I bet that honor will go to someone in Seattle who bakes miniature vegan gluten-free cruelty-free pie-cupcakes and takes adorable photos of them involving kittens and corgis.

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